fLong story short:

My ex and I were in long distance relationship. She was suppose to visit this Christmas from florida but she said she didn't feel comfortable coming considering she didn't feel the same for me.

I broke off communication with her because she kept hitting me up prior to it and giving me mixed signals. I would ask her if her feelings changed and she would say no.

So I told her never to talk to me again and she got mad at me and told me that she's done with me and it's better off that way.

one month later I hit her up and she was very welcoming. She then started mentionining how she wants to travel to Cali and check it out.

Two days later i asked her if she wants to go. She said yes. I told her lets go for two weeks and she said how about three? I obviously agreed.

THEN She said to me this morning that she wants to go as friends. WTf! I think she knows deep down that I still like her. Why would she want to go as friends?

Ladies PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS LOGIC!!!

I told her I was feeling the same too (lie).

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yeah dudes am here to learn the pick up game and to get better everyday

Jesus man, she figured out she could keep you around and not fuck you. You also very much validated this when you went back to her after your month of separation. Should have let her come to you on your terms.
Now it seems she's lost respect for you as a man/lover. Don't worry though, I'm sure you'll make great company as a friend on vacation...

Sorry, that was harsh. But no, never say powerful words like "never speak to me again" and then crawl back weeks later. Woman respect men of their word. She wont fuck you on this trip because she doesn't value you enough. I'd say move on and find better options than a girl who is indecisive about you. You WILL find one who is crazy about you and this one will pale in comparison. Then she'll really start to value you, at which point you too will have moved on for good.

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Paul

"A man is the sum of his actions."

Before I answer anything about this.. Tell me now.. Are you PAYING for this vacation!?

How do you suppose a woman's feelings change? Just because you've waited one month without taking any action that would position feelings to change, you think her feelings will magically change. Have you changed? Her feelings is a reflection of the energy and vibe you are giving off to her during contact. And I hope you don't think a paid vacation is going to open someone up for your emotionally. You can't buy love man. You have to cultivate yourself into a guy thats worthy of being loved. That doesn't come with a price tag and that doesn't come because you may get mad or upset. You have to think.. You got upset with her because YOU weren't behaving in a manner that she found attractive. Thats like getting mad at the basketball hoop because I missed the shot.

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Hey Eddie, do you think that you're forgetting how powerful the "take away" can be? The most powerful thing a man can do is walk away from a situation that is demeaning to who he is. Our friend here disagreed to the terms his ex was throwing at him (friends) and walked away...a little dramatically but he did nonetheless. I feel as though if he waited and bettered himself, she would eventually have reached out, out of curiosity more than anything else and found a new improved man. The take-away being a key factor.

To finish, I respectfully disagree with "Just because you've waited one month without taking any action that would position feelings to change, you think her feelings will magically change."

I think time makes individuals look at the past through rose colored glasses and she would have eventually crawled back. They always do. In the mean time I think our friend should be dating, meeting and sarging new women. Practicing his skills and having fun. Just my 2 cents

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Paul

"A man is the sum of his actions."

Whats up dude..

I appreciate your objective view point.

I whole heartily agree with you, but I was speaking toward the mentality of the guy in the post. He hadn't "bettered" himself, and was still displaying the mentality above that pushed her away in the first place.

Had it been a different situation; or an OP with a different attitude I would be in agreement. Ex's all come back to guys that actually Move on.. Not the guys that stay stuck on them. The fact that he reached out months later spoke to the truth of the matter IMO.

From my perspective, he never actually cracked through with this girl enough for her to miss him when he was gone. There wasn't much to view with those rose colored glasses, but sure.. Another place, another time, I would of expressed your exact same sentiments.

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Frankly, it was a long distance relationship, plus HER feelings died and SHE ended it. No way she was coming back. That's the easiest thing for her to move on from. "Oh, I wonder how the guy who lived thousands of miles away is doing who I've seen a few times and who I wasn't feeling into that much." LDR's a mostly crap, and most people don't go looking for them or go looking to revive something there. Move on. If you want to go with her as a friend, or to hookup, fine, but don't go expecting her to really want to get back in something that already had a barrier. If you'd be so quick to try to get back this chick you didn't move on properly. It is what it is. It's long distance and neither of you should really want to try to make something that wasnt working work.

I would strongly advise against man. I visited an ex at her home for 3 days a year after breaking up with her, and it was the single most awkward experience of my life up to this point. These sort of situations can become disastrous so quickly if something happens and you're stuck with each other for a week.

Why the holy fuck do you idiotic morons keep chasing girls who are not that into you? She doesn't want to fuck you so get over it you dumb, fucking idiot. She sees you as a friend. Either go with her to Calf or don't. If your poor cock cannot deal with it then boo fucking hoo. Christ you guys are fucking CLUELESS and so far up your own pathetic asses that you cannot cope with girls just wanting to be friends with you. Get over your fucking selves. There are girls YOU wouldn't fuck either and if they pestered you, you'd fucking hate it. Fucking morons. Why the hell do you always think you are different to girls? They are exactly like us. That is where you idiots are all going wrong.

If you're taking your ex on a vacation I would use her for social proof - she can be your wing girl. And if she has a problem with this she's lame.

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This guy's gotten friend zoned too many times. Easy with your hateful words Danny, they only reflect your lack of character.

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Paul

"A man is the sum of his actions."

I would go. Men of quality surround themselves with women they actually want to be friends with. Not having sex is not a specifically good reason to not spend time with someone who is your friend. But not having sex would be a good reason to choose to spend time with another friend who also has sex with you. However its a balance because the more time you spend with friends whom do not spend time with you the more likely they will have sex with you. Go on the vacation. Enjoy it as friends. The quickest way to getting laid is understanding women in your life and being their friends.