Hi guys,

As the title says, I'm trying to get over a girl I love . Before you ask, yes it is love and I have no doubt about it. To put you in context, I met this girl last summer and we were together for a little bit more than 2 months. Although it's not a very long period of time, it definitely felt a lot stronger for both of us than you would expect. After these 2 months, she had to go back to her country (approx. 3800 km from me) despite my efforts to make her stay. We stayed in touch and I visited her a few weeks ago to learn about her country, but more specifically to meet her family. Unconsciously, I think I wanted seduce her family in order to bring her back. They loved me.

Fast-forward to now, a few weeks after coming back, it seems obvious to me that she will not come back anytime soon. Although she loves me and I love her back, there are many elements that make it impossible for her to come back (at least not in the next 8 months). Realistically, she could come back in 1 year (maybe?) but I don't think it would be emotionally healthy for me or her to bet everything on this relationship. One last thing, I am certain that we are on the same page (i.e. we love each other and want to be together, but it is not possible for her to come soon, and I don't want to move to her country for good). Therefore, there is no realistic option where we would be physically together.

For those who have been in a similar situation, I would like to know what you did to get over someone you loved but couldn't be with and also what you did to distract yourself in these moments when you really miss her/him? Thanks

Some additional info:
- Obviously, there is also the possibility to force things a little bit and move to her country for an indefinite period of time, but this is far from being the best option for me. Her family asked me few times to come back (and move there)
- Her refusal to come back does not mean that she does not love me, she just can't (for cultural and emotional reasons)

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The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

FOCUS on yourself. Each time you put the focus on her you'll struggle.

So, some things you can do is meditation (mindfulness meditation works particularly well) where you sit in the body. Journalling daily helps quite a bit too to reflect on feelings (which goes A LONG way in processing through them rather than suppressing them or diluting them through substances or other women).

Learn to be OK with you. So, be compassionate towards yourself (this is a HUGE one). What does this mean? Well, when you have thoughts of her, redshift your focus to yourself in a gentle and loving way. You will have thoughts from time to time but that's human and you need to be easy and forgive yourself for having these thoughts.

In addition, pursue activities you enjoy, those in particular which give your life meaning. Explore new hobbies, go out and meet new people (not a new girlfriend but relationships that are fulfilling in various other ways).

You're right... I should probably focus on my interests and friends. I'm lucky enough to have people around me but, as you know, things seem a lot less interesting if she's not around

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The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Long distance is tough. However, if your LOVE is really that strong and hers is as well.... nothing should separate that. 8 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things... why not SPAM everyday? Keep in touch.. and plan for a future if that is TRULY what you two both want...

if its not then you need to complete detach yourself from the situation... meaning 100% cold turkey. No talking to her, no searching her internet profiles... nothing. Its the only way to completely move on!