Hey guys I am hoping you guys can help me figure out what to do. My girlfriend and I were fighting lately and part of it was cause it was over texting mostly and misunderstandings but she would get so pissed off that she didn't want to talk on the phone or meet in person. I apologized and tried to explain everything was based on misunderstandings and even her breaking up with me was because of that. I told her communication is number 1 thing in any relationship and she took that away from me so I was forced to text basically.

so I sent texts trying to explain and she basically ignored me for a week or more. so I figured I love this girl so I want to end atleast on good terms and I don't want her to think I am a different person just because of stupid misunderstandings... basically she was sdisappointed so much by some things I called her and said she is glad I showed my real colors before we got any deeper into the relationship, she said she cant believe she thought I was the one but was so wrong. so I basically texted her trying to explain it was all a misunderstanding that even if we are going to part ways that its important she knows I am still the same person and I am sorry for everything I have done on my end, I never meant to hurt her. She is my first real love so I said no matter what she decides that I am blaming myself and I love her and will always be there for her and that I cant help worry about her so much that atleast keep in touch so I know you are okay. I said I just felt disappointed... that all I wanted was her to forgive me and basically give me a second chance to make things right. she has medical conditions too so she really hates drama. she has chronic migraines and cluster headaches if that helps. but when we fought at times she would say things that would really piss me off and I would forget her conditions and get into fights with her. I never meant too.

for the record this is a new relationship maybe now about 4 months. on our first day we talked about the future,marriage and both thought and said we were soulmates. throughout the relationship she has mentioned she thought I was the (one) from the first time she met me and was falling for me on day 1. later said she loves me, misses me, etc. She said she saw a future with me as far as marriage , kids. she said she wants my baby...She talked about getting a job and helping me so I didn't have to worry about working alone and supporting us in the future, so lots of good talks so we both were supposable in love fast and both saw each other as the (one) till the last few fights where she thinks she realized I am a whole nother person. I don't see myself honestly with any other girl and girls are not hard for me to get but I guess you can say I am a good guy but I consider myself more of a hybrid ( badboy side is I am a professional mma fighter which she loved) ( good side is I am really caring and protective guy and wanting to get married, kids, etc.) at some points she said she had drama on her end as far as family etc that this wasn't my fault but at other points it was basically me pushing her away with the drama from my end. at some points she said it wasn't her fault or mine that we just met at a very bad time in her life and the drama she had on top of drama from our relationship pushed her to not want any relationship. but I think she lied about lots of things to make it easier on me ( to not hurt my feelings basically)


she finally texts me back saying basically (((everything is good, stop worrying and blaming yourself for everything OK ? lets just be good close friends then we'll go from there...)))

usually the friend crap means you are done but we have had possibly the best sex together and as mentioned above thought of eachother as the one and saw future together. what does this mean or what can I do to get her back to how she felt for me before ?? basically is there any hope and whats the best way or fastest way to fix this ? thx ahead of time guys!

1st off - Ick! I think I vomited a little reading this one-sided romance novel.

This is the ideal blueprint, to fuck things up.

What's the best/fastest way to 'try' and fix this? She gave you that answer.
STOP TRYING SO HARD TO KISS HER ASS! Stop texting, stop trying to crawl up her ass 24/7, stop acting like a girl! You may be a badass MMA fighter, but in the boy/girl cage your acting like a pussy. She already has a pussy she doesn't need two.

How the holy fuck can you be soul mates with somebody you have only known for 3 months? RE-DAMN-DICKULOUS!

Calm the fuck down, punish yourself at the gym for this shit. Quit over thinking.

Flirt with other girls. Stop making her your number one priority.

I doubt she can take a proper shit with out you texting to see what the fuck she is doing.

Would you want your girl doing that shit to you? NO you'd be pretty fuckin annoyed in short order.

You are being her annoying little sister, and she let you know it, in no uncertain words.
Are you mad now? Fucking GOOD you should be.......at yourself.

Now, MAN THE FUCK UP!

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

So...you feel "misunderstood"

Yet, you continue using a medium such as texting to explain yourself, which to me sounds like part of where the confusion lay to begin with...

You want to make her see you're not the guy she's saying you are, to prove her wrong, so-to-speak.


What do you think happens when you feverishly attempt to PROVE to someone that you aren't the very thing they're accusing you of?

What is the upside to this?

Until you learn to be a more centered person, you will allow other people's judgments of you affect you to the core.


Rather than focusing on how to win her back, or change her 'perception' of you, maybe it is more fruitful to look into yourself and ask yourself why does this person's judgement of you mean so much? That will be the beginning of truth, your truth and whether you end up never seeing this person again or not you will be well on your way toward growing as a person.

I get what you are saying man I felt like a bitch at some points but maybe I can explain my reason better. From day 1 she opened up to me and said she has had a hard life being muslim an lots of parent drama and she's been heart broken and screwed by people for trusting them, she was in a 6 yr relationship where she left her parents to come to America for this guy and the guy cheated on her so she had to leave him.

Anyways I felt so bad for her and everything I did was to prove to her that all guys are not assholes but I did way to much like I am her husband I guess so it made me come off as possessive,needy,, to emotional. But she is an intelligent girl and I thought she would understand and appreciate what I was doing but everything back fired. I have never been in love or connected with a girl this bad in my 34yrs so yea maybe I lost my mind a bit but she saw the real me in the beggening when I didn't care much for her. I feel everything started to go downhill the more I started to care for her and the nore I tried to do. Hope that helps.

I understand what you are saying, normally I don't care what anyone thinks of me but this girl means everything to me aside from my family I love her like no other so ofcourse I want her to know the truth. Either way I am so disapointed... I want her to come back to me more than anything but I feel it's a lost cause maybe already I would think the right girl for me would fight for me just like how I have done for her. Cause we are all human and can fuck up, but It's not like I cheated on her... This can be fixed especially since whatever I did I had her best interest at heart.

Some hard truth coming at you here, man:

The previous posters here are right...

This is not a relationship advice forum where we're going to pamper you and baby you and tell you it's all going to be ok and you did your best.

You're going againt (or simply not even practicing) just about everything PUA actually teaches with how you reacted and behaved with this girl... Whether she's had a tough life or not.

This isn't even pickup related, this is puppy love.

Heywood gave you a really blunt picture of the situation from a PUA perspective. Not sure what else you thought you would find on a pickup forum.

Ok thx for input people but how do I get her back ? her last text was this...

(((Everything is good, stop worrying and blaming yourself for everything. OK? Lets just be good close friends, then we'll go from there... )))

is it game over or is there a way I can get her to come back to me later ?

like should I go about 1 month without contacting her at all ? etc ?


I know I fucked up big time but what I need you guys to help me with is figuring out how to get her back somehow even thought I still feel like she abandoned me without giving us a real chance to figure things out and part of me doesn't think its a good idea to get back with her...

You're looking for her for the answers, and like a good little dog are waiting for a pat on the head to proceed. Look within yourself.