So my girlfriend has lied to me about some petty stuff in the past and I am a little disturbed about our last conversation.

*note we have been dating over 1 year. I am far from an AFC*

She told me she said "happy birthday" to an ex over facebook. Thats it. Not big deal right? My question is...why did she do it? I asked her this question and she didn't have a great explanation. basically saying "it was just a simple nice gesture...i just saw it on my news-feed and wished him happy birthday"

She also seemed to know his current ware-abouts (his living situation ect) because she told me. She said "He means very little in my life right now.. blah blah (my gut says its kinda the truth, but kinda bullshit)

ANYWAYS... I asked her then to block him on facebook.

My reasoning?

**If you are with me and he means little why are you still friends with him?
--She didnt like this... she said that would be "harsh to block him" which i dont get. I have blocked all of my exs.... no issues. I have 100% moved on.

Any thoughts would be very welcomed! Am I wigging out for no reason?
-Duke

This sounds pretty insecure. It was a happy birthday message on facebook and you're blowing it out of proportion. Don't expect because you handle yourself in a specific way, that she should do the same thing.

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Did she do what you said and block him? If so just monitor her casually.

If she didn't obey you then you should worry.

Maybe she just sent it then felt guilty so decided to tell you. I seriously wouldn't worry as I have wished almost complete strangers who have friended me on facebook happy birthday. It's a meaningless gesture so long as thats all there is to the story. No need to stress and get insecure.

I would kind of agree with this. 300 friends on FB and how many do I really give a shit about? 50 or 60 maybe? Yet I still wish most of them a happy birthday if Facebook tells me that it's their birthday.

Could be something, could be nothing.

My reply would have been a disinterested "cool."

This would have been the best response but I am not 100% sure about her and this guy still...

He had a rock show in our area (like 8 months ago) which my GF went to with her best girlfriend of hers. She told me at the time he was just a friend and that she had bought tickets to the show before she even knew me (which was the truth actually so I thought ok no big deal...)

I then later found (a few months down the road) this dude was an EX and that she had written him a letter when he moved away about how much she loved him and all this stuff.. so it wasnt like stuff went bad with this guy and the broke up... he just moved away.

**So why I tripped a little bit when she told me about this Birthday thing is because of that whole situation. She went to his show (while me and her were BF and GF) and lied about that he was only just a "Friend". Now, I know for 100% fact that she didnt do anything with him the night of the rock show because she called me on her way to and from home and we SPAM that night and he wasnt with her...

So "technically" she didnt cheat on me... but it was a super shady move...I moved passed it and just decided I was more alpha than this dude...Thoughts?

Any other suggestions would be great guys thank you all for the responses. Some great stuff!

As Charles said could be nothing could be something. Just from what you wrote that's extreme. What was the petty stuff she lied about before?

Just read your last reply. It's shady. I guess if you think she wants him let her go. If you trust her then figure out out. It's shady though but getting her to block him won't really do much either way.

Other petty stuff would include -- another guy texted her and I saw it and she said it was nothing and I just let it be...

Another guy of 2 years she was seeing also texted her and she responded to him a few times... it seemed very minor and the dude was pretty AFC.. she was just responding to be "friendly".

**Which I do think is the truth because she is the type of girl that doesnt like to deal with confrontation. She would rather text back and be nice then be an asshole and then have to deal MORE with it later...**

My GF is a HB9 so she gets hit on all the time...

Neo Here is my current situation...

My GF is going to be out of town in 2 weeks and right in this guys backyard.... She is visiting her sister for the weekend and this dude that normally lives 6 hours away becomes only 1 hour away distance.

Now--This is still a longshot.... But She will be in his area and I wont be there...

*****Is she planning on meeting up with him? And now she mentioned this birthday thing because they are still in contact? Another reason why I tripped a little...

Thoughts?

All I can say is if you don't trust her don't be with her. Blocking if she wants him doesn't do anything. Granted she was shady and lied, but you stayed. If you didn't trust her you would've been better ending it instead of continuing thinking she has another guy on her mind. Maybe someone else can offer more. Id just end it because shit is shady but that's me. My advice would be she could or she couldn't be planning to meet him..regardless if you don't trust her and I understand why..she lied so it's not like you started off paranoid..if you don't trust her find someone you trust and feel like they want you and no one else.

+1 This

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Never said the problem is whether she wants her ex, I was talking about his lack of trust. Trust not thoughts.

It's all about the current state of yoru relationship.

If things were good and you had a solid foundation this would go into the 'what-eves' pile

Since things are obviously not good and you're feeling insecure in the rel this is having more of an impact


Ask yourself what needs of yours aren't being met in the relationship (e.g., security, trust, intimacy etc).