Ill try keep it short but here is my predicament.

Been going out with my gf for over 3 years now. Over xmas she was acting like a nob being rude when i met her etc but generally not nice. My GF was pushing me to go out with her on NYE so i did even though i wanted to go out with my mates, I met her and she was ignoring me and being generally moody with me. So i got really pissed got kicked out a club and sent her some not very nice drunken messages along the lines of "your an asshole" etc (i know AFC!) She ended up giving her phone to her sisters boyfriend who game his two cent (don't know why she didn't just turn it off) He returned it in the morning to her Dad (a guy who would eat me for breakfast) who read my messages. Any way on the 2nd of jan we spoke after she rung me and i returned the call she text me "I truly can't deal with having an argument unless you want to move on i can't talk" any way she ended up calling. I didn't get pissed off and kept my cool just saying "i'm not going to argue" but she went mental calling me a bully and suggesting her dad said that. I kept cool saying i don't want to speak about it and apologised for sending the messages also saying she ignored me and was being rude so i decided to get drunk. any way we haven't spoken since!

It's my B-day today, i have never not spoken to her for this long before and she is always the one who has to make the call. Any way I get a B-day card from her today. (before nye we had arranged for her to come up London and see me and she would normally spend about £80 on me for my B-day) The card said "Happy...B... Sad it's come to this but i really hope you have a special day......" I text her "thank you for the card" she replied "ofcourse"

Other important notes
Moved up London 6 months ago she hasn't come up once (did try one time but lost my phone and wallet and i had to cancel) also she does get sick easily because of major allergies so that doesn't help...
I go down to Brighton every other week to see her.
She never comes out with my friends hence why i went out with her on NYE after she pressured me.
Her mum and dad who she lives with get involved in our relationship and when i see her i have to stay round hers and go to hers because i have cats and dogs at mine and she is allergic...
Week before i came down for xmas she promised to come up but didn't (she did buy me dinner to make up for it though.)
couple of weeks before xmas she screamed at me to see my phone because a girl (friend!) messaged me. this was close to her parents who could hear. i showed hear quickly then said i was leaving. she apologised later after i wouldn't speak to her.

Any way i kind of want to split up with her but at the same time i'm unhappy she called me a bully and was very sharp at me because of NYE plus i make a massive effort with her also pulling her out of depression. I'm upset with her regarding getting nothing on my b-day and her not bothering! i know i can't be afc though i'm just not happy with the relationship and want her to give a shit!

Before when we have had big arguments i have said sorry and i end up giving up power and she then ends up taking the piss that can't happen again!

Advice please, sorry for the essay.

Doesn't sound like you have a girlfriend anymore. You lost because you got emotional and reacted when you could have just held your tongue. I don't know if you are a dick or not, but you sent her the documentation that you are. What makes it worse is that your text can justify everything that she may have done wrong. Now everyone in her life believes that you are a dick and unless you can isolate her from the people in her life, you don't have much of a chance.

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She wouldn't turn down a date but i fear it would give her power in the relationship which would make it not worth while for me... We are still "facebook official" (not sure if i can just remove that now?) and i know if she wanted it over she would have made the effort to split already to remove that tag. Thanks for your opinions though guys will take it on board.

I'm guessing this is directed at my comment. I not once said it was totally his fault. I was stating that no matter what his side of the story is, he looks like the bad guy. Even if you do get drunk and stab someone 45 times, you're going to be convicted for being a killer. If you get drunk and act like an asshole, you're going to be viewed as an asshole.

Btw...women talk about the details of their relationships, believe it or not. Especially if there's an argument.

Lol. If I break any laws when I'm drunk and face prison time, I pray you are on my jury.

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It is a difficult situation because my girlfriend will have people in her ear saying bad things about me etc. So i think i might just explain my side of the story and see what she says because i haven't really told her yet.

Yeah agree with the other guys...it sounds done. I'd just add that for messages like you're an asshole, in a 3 year relationship this is extreme. Obviously the relationship was already problematic for her...either she just doesn't care or this is the last straw in something.

My biggest issue is that she has not ONCE come to your place.. regardless of the cats and dogs and everything else this is a MAJOR issue. How are you suppose to have a solid relationship if she is unwilling to come to your place? This needed to be addressed very early in the relationship and you needed to establish enough comfort with her to come to London.

I wouldnt say its "over"... she has made efforts... but you did show some immaturity by drunk texting and pissing her off. This was very beta. Alpha males dont do stuff like that.

Live, learn from it, and move forward past her or continue with her with this new awareness.

Best,
Duke

Ok here is the update with her. I split with her i didn't get emotional but she started crying and i stayed strong so she quickly stopped crying. We argued a bit and she said she was umming and arhing about getting me a present for my b-day but decided not to because she knew that would course the relationship to end. She did tell me she loved me and told me there would always be a place in her heart for me. I said i wasn't sure if i loved her but i cared a lot for her etc, etc any way it ended then i sent her a text was probably beta but kind of just wanted everything cleared up and i didn't want to hold a grudge.


Me: I wish you had made an effort.

Her: I wish you'd made an effort and apologised in those 3 weeks then I wouldn't have not

Me: I apologised before and I didn't feel I could make any more of an effort when you thought I was a bully after all I had done for you. I hope your nan gets better soon, I love you and there will always be a place in my heart for you. X

Her: I felt at the time like I had to really explain why I was upset and then you apologised about the texts nothing else, I do see I was also in the wrong but not so much so that you should have spoken to me rudely the next day. Thank you for your text that means a lot, I will always love and care for you too x

Me: Ok, I'm sorry for that. x (this is kind of a big deal normally i wouldn't apologies)

Opinions? Think she will get back to me...