Right so my GF and I had an over-text argument 2 nights ago. It was started because she found out I had used her YouTube account to like and comment on a video of MINE.
Just as I realised that her comment was on it I went to delete it, but it was to late. She sent me "Using me to get people to like you is not cool".
I instantly responded with "Give me a break, Goodnight" --- Foolish, I know.
The following morning I sent her an apology. I realised how much of an arsehole I had been. She didn't respond.
I waited around 9 hours later, and called her. She didn't answer at first, but 10 mins later she called back.
We had a short conversation at the which she said "I'm not in the mood to talk right now" and we said goodnight.
After talking to her close friend about what happened, I sent another text to my GF. She responded with this:
"I am really, really upset and I don't want to talk about it now because I'm stressed about University and not thinking straight. I don't think we'll see each other before you go, but maybe next time you're in London when things have calmed down".
Was this a way of breaking up with me??

You know her better than any of us, so you would be the best person to answer that question.

Here's your problem is that you are reacting from a state of weakness. When you said "give me a break", you should have left it at that. You may have been wrong for your action but at least you would have been in a stronger frame when you talked to her. Instead you apologized and that confirmed she was in the position of power because of this incident.

Women want to talk about things and not keep things unsaid. If they have strong emotions for you, they will contact you to discuss what happened and how they feel about it. All you have to do is have the intestinal fortitude to wait for her to call. Don't text an apology. Don't talk to one of her friends. Just wait and she will come to you and you can tell her that you understand where she is coming from.

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+1

Even if you did do something stupid, you shouldn't go out of your way to grovel at her feet. A simple "I didn't think it was a big deal in the moment, I hear you though and it won't happen again." will suffice. And if she keeps bringing it up ignore it. You HAVE to set that frame up. If you start framing it that she has the upper hand then you are never going to hear the end of stuff like this. In reality what you did is not a big deal. But when she senses that you are really sorry about it and that she has the upper hand, many girls will take big advantage of that.

Also, don't talk to her friends about stuff between you and her. It's a terrible idea. Don't even text. Talk on the phone if you have to but try to do it in person.

Sounds like shes overreacting anyways. Go find other, cooler, girls.

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This is one of the silliest things I've heard to fight over. Sounds like it's over though

Ya it's over. Time for some new booty. But you shouldn't have apologized the next morning, just saying.

To anyone saying you shouldn't have apologized. Why exactly ?

You violated her privacy which is not cool. But it's not a massive deal.

This is not about frame and who has power. If you want a working relationship you forget about power.

It's ok to apologize. Don't take it too far.

I think you are fine. She told you she is stressed so leave her be. Let her contact you next. You said sorry already no need to talk to her about this again.

This thing is blown a bit out of proportion though.

How many women in your life have you been with or do you know that have ended a relationship because their boyfriend didn't apologize for something they've done? When guys do deal breaking actions, that's when they end things regardless if he's sorry or not. To apologize, as you say is okay to do, is to hand her the ability to decide what is acceptable and not acceptable. It sets a bad precedent.

Him: I'm sorry.
Her: Just don't do it again.

That's how apologies go in a nutshell. But really look at that and notice what happens. She is telling you what to do. If she is telling you what to do, that's her being in control and you having to accept her control because you admitting it(In the case of OP, he has to accept that she is not going to talk to him or see him until she wants to and on her schedule when it wasn't an issue before this event happened). It may seem like nothing to you, but at her core she knows how you'll react at her displeasure and it is to her benefit. From that point on if she wants things her way, she will act displeased. That is the result of losing power.

To forget about power, in my opinion, is not intelligent. Know enough women and you'll find out that a majority of them respect the man who can lead a relationship. If she is leading you, she's not respecting you. If she's not respecting you, she will find a guy she can respect.

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i don't think i've ever read anything less true on this website. all OP had to do was leave it at his initial response, sans apology, and he would have been golden. she'd have gotten over it and most likely apologized to him for overreacting. instead, he apologizes and thus unnecessarily intensifies the seriousness and flagrancy of his actions, puts her in a position of control, and continues to dig himself deeper until she starts dictating when they will see each other next. none of this happens if he doesn't apologize.

power absolutely matters and it's imperative that you as the man have the final decision-making power in your relationship. that doesn't mean be an evil dictator or an asshole. it means control the frame.

exactly right.

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you shouldn't have done that, but apologizing for it only made things worse as far as your relationship. also talking to the close friend of hers is a huge no-no because it goes right back to her and again kills your frame by making you look like a weak snoop who doesn't confront people directly.

i don't think that's a breakup text per se but it's definitely not a good sign and could easily lead to a breakup. i'd just respond with the single letter "k" as in okay. it'll throw her off. then don't contact her whatsoever until she contacts you first. then tell her she was overreacting and don't back down (but don't explode at her either, be calm and disciplined). be very brief in your communication. what you're trying to do is climb back up to the top of the hill, where she now stands.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.