So I have an interesting situation that may or may not have been discussed here before. My friend's family owns a restaurant and one night I was hanging out there with my buddy and this smoking hot 22 year old Polish chick was there. I chatted her up and ended up number closing. It felt cool how natural the conversation was and i dug the vibe.

The interesting part was my friend told me that it's the bar tender's younger sister who comes here on 6 month tourist visas from Poland. I thought it was cool at first but then he said something that stuck in my head and made me think "oh fuck.." He said it's not all that uncommon for Polish immigrants to mingle and get American guys to fall for them so they can try as squeeze a marriage certificate or money out of them so they can get citizenship and that it's happened before with some of the employees in the past. Not with this particular girl but if it happens once, that shit is scary. He went on to saying that a lot of times it's kind of cultural since Poland and Urkane are such shit holes.

It's probably dumb, but even if there is the chance, how does one switch their frame from ulterior motives to genuinely being attracted to someone, if say, this is what her aim is. I'm sure i built genuine attraction, but i'm also just hoping it wasn't a song and dance. I'm not looking to get married anytime soon for sure, and i have no confirmation that that's her goal, but i guess if there's anyway i can get my self some insurance PUA wise to turn this so i don't get screwed advice would be more than welcome.

I think there is a good chance should would work you for a green card. You should just take her out and try to fuck her as you would any normal chick. Unfortunately being Polish and thus certainly very catholic, she will probably hold out on you. All in all I think you may find this one way more trouble than she is worth but no harm in putting in a modicum of effort.

Give her the benefit of the doubt till proved guilty. Game as normal for the time being.

Even if that was her intention, she would pick the best quality for her and not just any old sod...

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I guess you're right in that sense. I'm 26 and she's 22, and if she was really looking desperately for a green card avenue she could just shack up with some old fart. Plus, it's not like we can get hitched without my consent.

I guess my worry is whether or not she's genuinely interested in me/is willing to have fun. it could be cool to fool around with someone looking for something out of me like that but at the same time i know myself and i get pretty beta when it comes to getting attached haha.

Are Pols really that conservative? Color me ignorant but i just assumed it was common for Europeans to be a bit more blase' about casual sex?

It is a fallacy of composition to lump Europeans as promiscuous. As foreigners on vacation we get a skewed view of their promiscuity (even more of a skewed view if you go to South America) as it is always easier to hump tourists and even locals while on vacation.

I would say Scandinavia general has the most sexually open woman, followed by western Europe, and than eastern Europe. Among eastern Europe I would consider Poland about the most conservative with the strongest brand of Catholicism. If anyone has lived in Poland and thinks different I would be open to being corrected.

Just don't marry her dude.

But there truth is, this is all a reflection of your self confidence. I personally would never think a chick would be trying to be with me because she wanted to squeeze marriage out of me. Hell, I think I'm too self aware to not be able to pick up on it if she tries it. Not to mention, if i am going to hand in my freedom and get married thats going to be my decision.

I don't even think you should overthink this. Talk to her and enjoy her. And as long as YOU don't get married, I don't see what you have to worry about.

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Oh no I'm aware my confidence isn't always as air tight as i might feel it is. Recently I've been reeling after my year long LTR ended about 2 months ago abruptly. My last two LTR's I felt like i squatted and settled way too fast with women who i later found out were insanely desperate for a relationship and companionship because they were emotionally distraught and i just settled because I was afraid I couldn't find better, so it's something I want to work on.

The past month i've been just approaching constantly, basically anywhere. Started conversation has never been my problem but I've always run into various sticking points, mostly in getting her to qualify or not escalating simply because I freak out and think "holy shit holy shit I'm doing it!" and i get too eager or too scared to mess up the streak.

That being said, i've been writing down everything i've been doing wrong after every approach and have focused on just taking and practicing each step little by little with different women, especially after i dropped the stupid idea that "if i don't close with this girl that's it! I'll never find anyone like her so it needs to get done now!"

So last night i decided to put it into practice, and try and concentrate on everything slowly and it went flawlessly. Instead of thinking "yeah, i knew i could" i had myself thinking "Holy shit! I did it!" and i was riding an emotional high. But them my buddy mentioned that green card idea i started to question whether or not i actually genuinely did it or if she was possibly just looking to squeeze something out of me

sigh

You're very self aware man. Its borderline brilliant. So from what I can see you're going to be exceptional in a short amount of time. Just keep the faith and keep taking the necessary steps to ensure your development as you are already doing.

And just remember theres something special about every single one of these girls. It just takes the right person to recognize it and/or bring it out. One mans trash has always been another mans treasure.

I remember my last LTR.. Me and the girl has almost everything in common, we even had the same birthday, and I remember tripping over the fact that I'd probably never meet another dope chick who had the same birthday. What were the odds? And you know what happen? Over the next month I ended up meeting two different women who shared the same birthday and they were all COOL as SHIT. Just like my last chick was. And to me that was the universe just making me aware of all the abundance thats out there. Theres always another girl more special than the last one man. Always. Its tough to see while you're going through it, but as long as you believe, abundance will always be available to you. ALWAYS.
You sound like me right there man. We've all made that mistake. I made that mistake a number of times. The chicks end up draining you of your energy so they can build themselves back up and then you're left drained and they seem to be okay. This is why I always advise guys to do the 90 day probation period with every girl you meet unless you are 100% sure upon meeting them that they are it. It usually takes 3 months for women to start being their true selves. Everything else is usually the mating dance.

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I really appreciate it man. It's taken a lot for me to get myself to mentally understand my faults and work on them. I really plan on honing these skills not so i can sleep with every woman on the planet or to find "the one" but rather to help find a really cool woman to compliment my happiness.

I've really been working on it and i can see what mistakes I'm personally making. Though i will say some sticking points are never of my own doing. One issue I've really been trying to deal with is the fact that i can't for the life of me find a reliable wing. I have friends that are super amazing at picking up women, but i find myself lowering my value when i hang out with them and the women that i open end up being attracted to them.

On the other end of the spectrum, I have some of my closest friends which arn't so great at talking to women and it's also really effecting everything. My one friend has some pretty bad social anxiety and will just kind of stand there when i open a group and say nothing with his hands in his pockets and it makes people uncomfortable. When i isolate, the group kind of realizes that I've left this very non threatening yet very awkward person with them and they'll either block me from isolating no matter how well i've won over the group or they will eventually find us and drag her back. It's also an issue when he gets overly anxious and roams the bar or club searching for me like a lost puppy and crashes my party in the middle of comfort.

I just feel like i'm having to do double the work to compensate for my lack of stable wingmen

You could also try not getting into any LTR's until you know yourself a little better. Maybe you can decide to play around a little. In addition if this Polish girl is really after a green card then I can almost assure you she won't be having sex with you any time soon, so if nothing else you can use that as a qualifier.

I went out with this Peruvian girl once who lived in my state at the time, she tried to hold out on me, and when I look back on it, she was probably looking for a green card.

It's definitely what i plan on doing. I want to be able to date around and have options like normal people my age without getting attached so easily. A lot of it stems from my insecurities when i was a kid about my weight. Since then, I've dropped 37lbs in 2 years and have gone to therapy just to help talk through the issues and she even suggested just dating around.

In my twenties I was better looking and in better shape and due to my perceived false limitations I barely ever got laid. And when I did get laid it was because I managed to keep my mouth shut. So ya you are on the right track, get your mind right and realize you with the right mentality you can pull girls virtually any day of the week.