Is it bad to be humble?



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 Post subject: Is it bad to be humble?
PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 5:47 pm 
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I think the greatest quality of a person is humility. I think of myself as an intelligent person, but I also realize that there are many more intelligent people than me out there; that being the case, I can refuse compliments about being smart with the reply, "I'm ok, there are much smarter people than me". Or something along those lines. I feel like it is too much to say to someone, "I am smart".

I'm curious how other PUAs do it.

I also lived in Indonesia for 3 years before returning to Canada and so my view of the world has changed a lot. In Indonesia, being humble is very important and the best way to DHV is to have other people talk you up, or actually show them that you are a talented musician (or other various skill). It is mostly frowned upon to be arrogant about oneself.

Please teach me oh great masters of wheeling bitties.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 6:40 pm 
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It's great to be humble but tough to DHV

That's why you have a wing - or sarge with friends.

A good wing will make you sound like Jesus.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 6:57 pm 
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Some people call me extremely intelligent, and sure enough, I am good at logic (math and programming), I score well at intelligence tests and I am good in seeing patterns where others don't see patterns at all. And now to the question, how do I relate to it?

First of all, I never brag about it. I work with just as intelligent people at my job every day. And when I meet someone who finds it hard to follow my reasoning, I can't really roll my eyes saying "I am sooo much smarter than you!", can I? That would have the complete opposite effect of what I want as a PUA - people would hate me. Humble enough I try to simplify my language and speak in a way the other person understands.

Some people find that attractive, other feel uncomfortable since they feel stupid (that's a failure from my part in building rapport). For the sake of building rapport I have to get down to the same "level" as other people. This can sound like an arrogant effort from my part, but the truth is that I find it much more funny than having some boring intellectual discussion with a coworker. Basically, I find intelligent people boring (since they lack the intelligence of being emotional and funny), and normal people funny (since they have this skill intelligent people lack).

My humility does not only come from this. I also know that logic is my ONLY strength. I am a complete retard socially very often, and I am definitely NOT street smart! Knowing my limits, and knowing what I'm bad at, makes me humble. And it makes me respectful towards others.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:34 pm 
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Charles, well what about when you don't have a smart wing raising you up? Or when you're just by yourself? I think I've got some great experiences that I could brag about and a lot of talents that make me a valuable person, but I have learned this to be not an admirable quality. However, perhaps it is an alpha quality to be mildly boastful?

For example 30 minutes ago my roommate brought his friend over (a platonic girl friend) and he mentioned how I had so much life experience. It's true, that I have, I've been in the army, I've been in the entertainment industry including movies, I've learned another language and culture, I've worked on the oils rigs, and now I'm in school for engineering. But my response was to avoid the question to avoid bragging about myself. In my heart, this is the right thing to do, but perhaps it would have been better to respond differently. The girl he is friends with is a waitress and if nothing else it would be good to impress her and get an extended network for meeting other girls. Should I have made a different response? There was a large opening there for me to brag about myself, but I chose to avoid it. I don't know how to brag about myself in a respectful manner that is not arrogant. (I suppose mature might be a better word here).

Hugge, I can relate entirely to what you said. I particularly like that you used the words. Joining the army helped me a lot and especially so did living in Indonesia, until then I was socially retarded and unable to make friends, jokes, or connect with people on any level. A complete introvert. On the flip side I am very good at programming, math and computer... the Indonesia experience helped me a lot with being more extroverted, and improving my artful skills such as dancing and playing music. Though now, admitedly, my social skill set is slightly off. Some things I'm very good at and other things I am a complete idiot. Even if it's a skill that a normal person should have learned when they turned 5.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 11:28 pm 
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Well, so far as I know, you need be humble to say that you're good in something. But what matter is how do you do this, and the reason behind your words.

I'm a good teacher, and I know that. A lot of people gave me a feedback about this, and most of people I even didn't ask about it, they just commented about my skill to teach. So, isn't wrong to say that I'm a good teacher, but I recognize that I'm not the best teacher ever. In another hand, usually people has some trouble to say that they are good in something because in their minds they need be the best is something to be able to say that they are good. So, for me sounds like proud.

I learned that is humble when you say what you are, in the limit that you are. No more, NO LESS. You can be very proud guy even when you're saying something bad about yourself. It is quite common, proud people not accept compliments, or help. And if you ask them what the reason they will say that they don't deserve this.

But, when you talk about GAME, you need think that as you will get better and better, you will become more confident and will be enjoying yourself. And if you are doing the things in a right way, you will be happy, having a good vibe, but, exactly because of this, your behavior can sounds like a threat for insecure people, guys or girls. And what you gonna do about it? Be humble and change because of them? I don't think so.

I think that be humble is good to improve your game. You will be able to recognize where you need improvement.

The best person to say if you are humble or not is yourself, because only you know exactly how far are your word of the reality, and the reason of your heart when you say something.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2015 2:30 am 
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Eh, this is, to a large extent missing a critical thing about "impressing" women.
Women are extremely self-centered when it comes to how they view things. The only way to impress a woman is to excel at something important to her. If she's an artist, then traveling to France while in school and spending time under French painting tutelage may indeed impress her.

However, being a waitress, that is not going to impress her much at all(only to the extent that she wants to visit France). If she doesn't want to visit France? Well, then she does not care that you went there in the slightest.

She'd be more impressed that you both had a Collie as your first dog.

Impressing women has less to do with doing exceptional things, and more to do with doing exceptional things that she likes. You'll gain way more social value by throwing a nice mixer, than by winning some international engineering award(even though the later is a much, much more difficult accomplishment).

The only chick who may be impressed by that, is the female engineering student.

But in either case, impressing her is extremely over rated. If you're truly impressive, you want to play it down, or else she may think you're too good for her and reject you out of reflex.

When you want to do is establish commonalities, so she thinks "He and I have a lot in common".

This applies to social status as well. She honestly does not care if you're some well renowned insurance expert, unless she's in your industry and it will impress her friends or further her career. Social status is only useful if it's a social circle she wants to run in.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2015 4:01 am 
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Quote:
[...]The only way to impress a woman is to excel at something important to her[...].

Impressing women has less to do with doing exceptional things, and more to do with doing exceptional things that she likes.

But in either case, impressing her is extremely over rated. If you're truly impressive, you want to play it down, or else she may think you're too good for her and reject you out of reflex.

[...]When you want to do is establish commonalities, so she thinks "He and I have a lot in common".
Sweet as, man.

True. Since that I started play the Game, I have paying more attention to details than before, and now, one thing that I can perceive better is how the women change her behavior when you find one subject that she really likes. Her body language changed completely. And get even better when you can teach some new to her.

Of course if you are good in something, you'll attract girls that have the same interest of you, and sometimes girls that not like so much, but will enjoy be with you because of your status. It's kind of synergy effect.

Unfortunately, I'm not good yet to find always what a girl likes most. But when this happens is amazing how the connection is established.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2015 6:10 am 
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The posts above are very informative, but they miss the main question. Is it bad to be humble? Or, in order to DHV, should one be more willing to expose their achievements?

The post I made above regarding the waitress friend, I had a genuine opportunity (given a really good opening from my friends) to impress by speaking about my life experiences. I see life experience as something that shows value. I did not take it, because I believe in being humble. Was it a good decision or not?

In my own mind, I think it leaves a little bit of mystery for her and I'm sure these things will come out later and when they do they will be more powerful because I've shown that I am humble (which to me is an excellent quality). Being arrogant is something I find hard to do, so this question has a lot of importance and relevance to me and my game.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2015 6:42 am 
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Any of those life experiences that she can relate to, and would personally be interested in - tell her about.
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I've been in the army
Active enlistment can be a booster for some girls. Veteran? Not really. Only to the extent that it can convey masculinity.
Quote:
I've been in the entertainment industry including movies
Awesome, if she wants to be an actress.
Quote:
I've learned another language and culture
Indonesia is a third world country that is low on any girl's list. She doesn't want to go there, and doesn't care that you did.
Quote:
I've worked on the oils rigs, and now I'm in school for engineering.
Neither of these things are interesting to anyone.

Go give it a try if you don't believe me. "DHV" yourself with this list and see how interested she is. What you're describing is basically what most guys who suck with women do - try to impress them.

You don't make women attracted to you, by telling her things about yourself(unless it makes her feel like you both have connections).

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Build an emotional connection through your hard throbbing cock.
Build trust and comfort by holding their hands and covertly rubbing your elbows on their nipples.
RSDTyler


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