I am sure it is different for every woman. However, I am wondering what you guys think are some strategies to walk the fine line between having a loving healthy relationship where there is mutual respect and love, but no dependency or neediness. What is the right way to balance hugs, words of affection, etc where there are enough to make each happy and not too much to make someone feel smothered, bored or turned off by it?

FART IN THE BED

_________________
USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Be careful with that, because some women can open counter-fire. Vegan nuts are harmless, but carnivore ladies are quiet and deadly.

To the OP - just don't be preoccupied with one another. You should both have a life, friends, things to do alone. If a woman demands you spend most of your waking hours with her, this is a red flag. Don't be afraid to do things alone, and don't be afraid to take short trips without her. A healthy woman should handle being alone for a couple of days without resorting to whining, becoming bored, blaming, or infidelity.
A nice guideline is - short trip alone once a couple months, two buddy nights a month, and some quiet time alone for a couple hours everyday.

Time apart. You should be seeing each other no more than 10 hours per week. This goes into marriage as well. Longer than that, and things start to get stale in most cases.

Maybe you can do the balancing act, but that's your simplest formula.

_________________
RSDTyler

If you're married or living together, how the heck do you minimize it to 10 hours? 2 hours a night 7 nights per week is 14 hours alone, not to mention weekends.

I said 2x a week for a reason.
You can do more than 10 if you're both with other people(whether you're out or just having them over). But alone time? That's about the max.

You should be spending more time with your friends, away from your partner, than with them.

Hanging out every single day is going to make both of you get both attached and bored.
You should not be sitting around, watching tv bored together each day. Nor eating meals every day.

Keep separate beds, too(separate rooms if you can afford it). There is really no reason to be sleeping together every single night. This is one of the main things that creates that sense of attachment. It's also what makes you eventually SICK of hanging out with this person. Do you sleep together because you want to, or because of habit? The more you become a habit to each other, the worse things will get in the long term.

The best relationships I've ever seen, feature couples who don't spend a ton of time together. You cannot be excited or even happy to see someone you see for three or more hours, every single day. Do you think to yourself, "Yeah! I'm gonna see my best buddy Brain at work today! We'll have lunch together like every day!". No, you don't. You're used to hanging out with him, because you have nothing better to do for that hour.

You can't stay interested in someone you spend too much time with. You just can't. 2-4 years in, you'll be bored and officially moving into "comfortable marriage" land at best. And conflict, drama and possibly divorce at worst.

_________________
RSDTyler

Thanks for the clarification, you make interesting points.