After advice guys.

Been together with my wife for 17 years, married for the last 10 and have 2 kids. This year has been pretty rough, we haven't been the best friends or treated each other great for the last couple. Found out this year that she had got quite close to a male "friend" from the gym. They had been texting each other for months in secret and it had become quite flirty. I found out and obviously the shit hit the fan. She blamed me for not paying her enough attention or compliments and assured me that it never went past text flirting. I have to take that at face value, it's easier though as we both know where we are virtually all the time, so I'm not sure she had any opportunity. What's worse is this fucker goes to the same gym classes as the both of us (I joined her gum, we were at different ones before) so it is an awkward situation.

We are trying to make things work, and I just wondered if in your opinions PUA skills can work in a long term existing relationship? When you both know each other inside and out?

Also, I'm going to practice some skills just in case things head south, as I would be like a new born child should I need to start dating again lol.

Appreciate your time

LOVE IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP. Love relates, but it is not a relationship. A relationship is something finished. A relationship is a noun; the full stop has come, the honeymoon is over. Now there is no joy, no enthusiasm, now all is finished. You can carry it on, just to keep your promises. You can carry it on because it is comfortable, convenient, cozy. You can carry it on because there is nothing else to do. You can carry it on because if you disrupt it, it is going to create much trouble for you… Relationship means something complete, finished, closed.

Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is always a river, flowing, unending. Love knows no full stop; the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not like a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point. It is an ongoing phenomenon. Lovers end, love continues– it is a continuum. It is a verb, not a noun.

Once you are in a relationship you start taking each other for granted– that's what destroys all love affairs. The woman thinks she knows the man, the man thinks he knows the woman. Nobody knows either! It is impossible to know the other, the other remains a mystery. And to take the other for granted is insulting, disrespectful.

To think that you know your wife is very, very ungrateful. How can you know the woman? How can you know the man? They are processes, they are not things. The woman that you knew yesterday is not there today. So much water has gone down the Ganges; she is somebody else, totally different. Relate again, start again, don't take it for granted.

And the man that you slept with last night, look at his face again in the morning. He is no more the same person, so much has changed. So much, incalculably much has changed. That is the difference between a thing and a person. The furniture in the room is the same, but the man and the woman, they are no more the same. Explore again, start again. That's what I mean by relating.

Relating means you are always starting, you are continuously trying to become acquainted. Again and again, you are introducing yourself to each other. You are trying to see the many facets of the other's personality. You are trying to penetrate deeper and deeper into his realm of inner feelings, into the deep recesses of his being. You are trying to unravel a mystery which cannot be unraveled. That is the joy of love: the exploration of consciousness. - Osho

You said you both know each other inside and out.

So here is some advice from the eastern philosopher Osho:

getting skills in the game can set me up should the worst happen as I would be on my arse in the dating game lol....

Thanks guys, she won't change Gyms as she has been going there for 10 years and knows everybody. It's something I will just have to deal with..

On one hand I see where her disagreeing to change gyms could be portrayed as a sign of disrespect. On the other hand, from the bigger picture, if the two of them were to go in to a grocery store and the bag boy flirts with her, is he to tell her she is not allowed to frequent said store ever again. It's not like she fucked the guy (as far as we know).

There are core issues to be addressed in this marriage that include mutual respect and getting the spark back. Sometimes I think married dudes are barking up the wrong tree coming here for advice. We're here to fuck around and have fun with multiple women, whereas marriages are serious bizness.

I probably will just keep doing this to the point where I can get a number or a kiss....shame tho...

Good on you for the new confidence. Ur playing with fire tho, me boy