Hi guys,

I hope you can help me on this:

Let me be clear, I have no problems with being rejected, at least, not anymore. I understand very well that not all woman can feel attracted to a man, or that there can be many other reasons they don't like to be approached at that moment. That's ok with me and that is not what bothers me. What in fact DO bother me during approaching again and again and what is ruining my inner game so much is the very unpolite way many women let me no they are not interested. And you know why? Because I simply can't grasp it. I can't uderstand there mind in this. Not in rejecting me, but in the way they do that as a human being.

Of course I WOULD understand if i would sent a lot of bad energy to them during the approach. But believe me I am always polite and friendly during approaching. I never intrude upon them, actually i only give, i smile to them, i am relaxed, honest about my intentions, sending possitive energy and so on and if i notice they don't like to continue the conversation i always immediatly say goodbye. I look even quite attractive.

I would also understand if the number of inpolite rejections would be less than 10%, because of course not all women have a good heart.

But at least 80% of my approaches today and 50% in general I get rejections from women who are not able to say at least a simple thank you on my compliments or let me even finish in saying my complimenting to them, already walking away from me with a bordered or scornful expression on there face.
Then I think "Ok, that you don't like to be approached at the moment I could understand, we all have a bad day some time or maybe you feel not attracted to me or what else, and that is really no problem for me, but...didn't you learn any manners? Why are you not able to treat me like a human being? Why are you so rude?"

But at the same time I can't believe either that so many women haven't learned any manners. So, however i can't find anything in my behavior that make them act like that, i still become insecure about this aproaching thing, what of course as a result of that has a bad effect on my inner game and let me wonder "In God sake what am I doing wrong!". Why am i receiving shit all the time if i simply give value to them?

And another question that makes my confusion even worse is: if it is really so that women geneticly like to be approached, then why do i so many times have the feeling they are bothered from the very berginning i am approaching them? If women geneticly really like to be approached, shouldn't I be able to see at least for a second an expression of "Wow an approach, what do I think of this one?" on there face?

Today for example I approached a girl, i stopped her and said "Excuse me, i know you are on your way now but i just wanted to tell you that you look beautifull" and the only thing the girl did was reacting scornful and serious annoyed like "Yeah right" (in other words: "You only say that because you want sex with me") and walked away. Well, this kind of reactions i had all day long. And of course i know i must not take it personaly, because the girl doesn't know me, but still i get angry because i really ment what i said, only wanted to do good, but get shit as thanks and think "I don't deserve this!" you know what i mean?

No worries man, IMO you just need to modify your approach and your demeanor.

I predicted you were opening direct with a compliment opener and at the end of the thread I found out that this was an accurate assumption. You are likely behaving in such a manner that you are volleying something to a girl and then (largely because of the other prior non-positive responses from women) you are through no fault of your own bracing yourself for said response.

These kinds of openers can work if you are calibrated correctly but even the smoothest mofo on earth will likely get more interest from more girls if you start talking to her about anything relevant to the situation the two find yourselves in.
Because you are blatantly hitting on them in a somewhat gamey fashion. You are not adding value. They want to be approached but they want it in a more elegant fashion.

For me I'll run a direct approach if the situation demands it i.e. i don't have much time or whatever. I'm not saying this is the perfect way to do a direct approach but what I will do however when going direct is that I will try to make that woman feel like she is the only woman on planet earth, and not that she is one of many.
No offense intended but who gives a flying fuck that she looks beautiful. Is she an interesting person? Can she hold a conversation? Do the two of you vibe well together?

Try approaching while subcommunicating your intent and speak to her about something going on in the surrounding area first rather than laying it all out there in a way that you are trying to 'get' something from the woman.

People new to this will always ask, "But how will she know I'm into her if I don't spell it out for her which is the logical thing to do." They intuitively KNOW when you are into them, if you express this through the way you are speaking and acting around her as though she is already your g/f, in a non-creepy manner.

Women want a little bit of mystery; spitting out the "you. stop. come here. you look gorgeous" gives them no mystery and is too much info right up front. If I were a woman I would think "fuck another direct approach, fuck this." That's why you're seeing the 50% reaction you are seeing.

You got this bro. The way to success in anything is take action-modify-take action-modify etc.

You got the taking action part down and well done on you for that man, most guys are too scared to approach; now's the time to modify.

I don't get it. If it is really true that girls like guys who has the balls to show their real intention (for me: I think she is cute
So i talk to her to find out if she is more than that), how can they at the same time don't like that and wish you to hide that or
keep it a mistery for them so their fear can be feeded that you are
just another guy who is hitting on her just for sex and even has not
the guts to say that?
I thought that girls like the honesty of it and like confident guys who has the balls to say it?
I thought girls find it very attractive. Some girls even said that to me and encouraged me to go on approaching likte that.

Don't stress it. Truth is, most women don't have manners. If they like you, they're sweet. If they don't, don't expect simple politeness when you give them a compliment. The guys who get the aww thanks when she's not interested are usually the unattractive guys who they think may take a rejection the wrong way. I've seen female friends reject a good looking guy when they were in a relationship but entertain an uglier/weirder guy the same night and give him a wrong number. When I asked why'd you talk to the uglier guy longer they say well because it would hurt him more if i rject him and that the weirder guy couldve gone crazy or pushy.

You know guys, I don't care if i get rejected and if the price is that i will make the girl feeling a little incomfortable by it I am able to accept that, even if it is true like neo87 said that many girls don't have manners and treat me like shit.

BUT...what i really don't want is bothering the girl with my direct (compliment)approaches simply because i don't want to hurt people. Therefor i really have to know how it is for girls if i approach them like that, to be able to continue doing this kind of approaches without being afraid that i risk i make them feel bad in case they don't like me.

Video's like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMb1-ru9fvU and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km1-195o0CI for example tell me it is quite ok doing so, especially because in those videos the kind of approaches are advocated by women and the woman in the second video is stating that especially attractive women are approached all the time by all sorts of guys and therefor they learned to deal with it and don't feel much irritation if they (for example) suspect the guy that he wasn't really interested in her personally and just complimenting her to have sex with her.

But at the other hand the reply of oceanx saying that (if i understood him right) with those kind approaches i am not giving value (in perception of the woman) but even taking value because she will think i compliment them only because i want something from them together with my (for some reason) growing bad field experiences, make me doubt again if that kind of approaching is a humane thing to do.

I really hope you experienced pua's can tell me I am making their pain to big in my head now so i can keep making use of direct approaches safely, in situations i would like to, for instance during day game, without feeling me a jerk.

Most women want a little mystery. They KNOW your intent if you communicate it nonverbally but things are still a bit mysterious, i.e. she's thinking 'who is this charming guy' or similar thoughts etc. Blaring out "oh god you're so hot ma" right from the word 'go' ruins and ends the mystery.
It seems that most of the youtube videos are the 'you. stop. you're gorgeous" style, and by all means continue doing that if you want. It's also important to remember that alot of those youtube videos are not showing the multiple rejections that it may or may not have taken to get to the girls who light up upon the direct opener.

I don't agree that you are damaging a woman by giving her a compliment, but when you're the 10th guy this month to go up to her and say "gosh you're very stunning," I would argue you aren't adding a ton of value either. As an alternative you could try going direct with "I like your style."

Direct openers are easier because you don't have to think up a creative way to open. But it also places the importance and the entire basis of your interacting with her on her looks.

If you want a way to approach women and ease in to their life, probably minimizing by a huge % the amount of immediate rejections you are receiving while at the same time providing not even a shadow of a doubt that you have NOT appeared in her life to be her bff, I laid out a way for you to potentially do that in my post above.

Keep experimenting and don't marry yourself to one style or one way to do things; mix it up, try different things and most importantly, HAVE FUN.

#1 Stop doing street approaches.
CAN someone do street approaches? Yes. But they're much harder, and to almost no end.
Stop making things more difficult on yourself.

Go inside places. Whether that is a building like a store, or a park. Somewhere where it is normal for her to chat up a random woman. That's what makes it socially semi-normal. She's likely had some girl wander over and say "I love your earrings! Where did you get them?" etc. I imagine that no woman has ever chased after her, ran in front of her and told her to stop, so she could ask the same question.

A major reason so many new guys struggle with pick up, is because much of the advice goes outside of social norms. Anything you're doing outside of social norms, becomes much, much harder.

#2 Learn to read interest queues. This way you know which girls to keep going with, and which ones to drop and move on.

#3 As Ocean suggested, go indirect. Direct only makes sense if the girl has given you clear approach signs. Even very good looking guys who go direct, face a lot of upfront blowouts.

_________________
RSDTyler

Thanks guys, i really appreciate your help. And i must say, since my worst day in approaching last sunday and your guys writings about direct/street approach i began to realize that you probably are right and that direct approaches most of the time don't give the best results unless you are very very good in it.

I also realize that this waking up is an important moment of cource for my progress but i can say at the same time it feels really bad. In approaching I feel me like a disabled guy now and it feels like i am back to the beginning where i started approaching a few months ago. This is very frustrating and since already two days i haven't approach one single girl anymore. However i am technically quiet capable to do also indirect approaches i can't do even them either anymore because my inner game sucks at the moment because i got so confused the last days about how basicly women get attracted to men in general. Two months ago i thought i had found out the secret that direct approach would be always the best because you don't hide your intentions then and you show big balls.

And for a while it really seemed to work out very well because from the moment i got the balls to do direct approaches i mostly got positive reactions from girls (like "oh thank you!") and for the first time there happened someting else wonderfull which boosted my confidence even higher: that suddenlly i noticed that women started to stare at me, at the street and everywhere, even already before i looked to them (apparently because women smelled my grown confidence). But slowly, how more relaxed with approaching i became (because of my growing confidence) the more (how paradoxal!) the negative reactions grew also.

Today i was in a warehouse waiting for girls seeking for eye contact, but I painfully noticed that the girls didn't look at me anymore, probably because of my imploded confidence the last days.

Aaaargh this really sucks! I hope i will soon be able to find my way back in approaching.

For inner game, don't tie your confidence to theory no matter how sound it is. Truth is, the you have balls = she likes you more thing, only applies when the girl is already interested in you. Approaching directly is not some magic pill for getting girls interested, it's just a tactical thing. If you don't have time to talk to her for a while, do direct. If you do, go indirect.

They smelled your confidence and they were into you. I freaked the fuck out when I got in to this game because on my first day of approaching, women were walking by looking at me with laser 'i wanna fuck' eyes. I was like, WTF. I quickly surmised this thing is like a fucking video game, backed by confidence.
ALL because you started questioning yourself and your confidence. It has NOTHING to do with the women, this is on you ONE HUNDRED PERCENT.
Again, it's all on you.

This is why I recommended going situationally indirect most of the time. It can help you to maintain your confidence over the long haul because in general there are so few immediate rejections.

Dude think of it this way I was in the grocery store tonight to get some shit to bring over to a family gathering. Some woman opened me about whatever and started blabbing even after my one-word reply. I wasn't in the mood but the point is if you feel a sustained confidence in yourself as you said the women can smell it from a mile away. If it is your intention to stay in this game for a sustained amount of time, I'll say it again, for your confidence's sake I suggest opening indirect situationally.