A pretty rough situation! Need help!



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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 11:32 pm 
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Hello, my name is Alex, I'm new here and I've read some books about PUA that led me here and mostly they work but now I found myself in a pretty complicated situation and I can't seem to find a way out, therefore I request someone's opinion, for I am sure that there are great people around here whom can help me.

So, here's the thing, I'll make it simple:

I've got a relationship that it was magnificent at first but at its half it started to get kinda rusty, we had lots of sex and done great things together but somehow we got lost on our way because complicated things came in our way. She got raped, her parents are purely constraining her for doing anything else than going to school and come back home, eaven if she's mature enough to be on her own.
The problem is, I've tried to help her with the rape part, I was beside her and understood her, that... after she kept it a secret from me for like 2 weeks because she knew that this would hurt me alot.
Afterwards, we have seen eachother but not as we did before and the biggest problem is that she wanted us to break up for a while, just so she can stabilize her emotions before we get back.
This is because I said something that I shouldn't have, knowing the things that she goes throught.

Therefore, we haven't been seeing eachother for like three weeks and I'm already out of my mind.
I just can't stop myself from searching her every day, I know that I should freeze her and wait for her to look for me but I don't fucking know how to wait and not start chatting with her.
It's so frustrating wanting to be just with her, and it's pathetic for me as a male to not consider my priorities first.
I just want to fix this, we have chatted about how we will meet after she stabilized her emotions.
She wants me to wait until next year, 1 month left.
What can I do?


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 11:56 pm 
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This woman is severely damaged...

The rape may have created negative associations with men and sex in her head. She is putting all of that on you. She has probably developed some hatred towards men, and is lumping you into the same category as the chump who touched her.

The way your mind is responding is perfectly normal. It's actually the thing that causes weak willed guys to stalk and rape women... You just can't get her out of your head. I can give you the skills to obliterate that automatic brain response btw, but that's not what you are here for.

Her personality is changing because she's been exposed to the darkness of the world that she may not have been aware of before. She will either become stronger as a person, or closed and detached emotionally.

You want to be in a relationship with her and save her... That's definitely not what PUAs teach. You have to use more basic human understanding. If this girl is scarred for life then even if you get her back you will have a horrible relationship with her and she won't trust you from now on. If she can overcome it then she will accept you back into her life and you will have a stronger more realistic woman.

Pick up doesn't teach how to fix damaged women. Most of us aren't therapists. When you try and sleep with her the rape will keep popping up in her head, kind of like how she keeps popping up in your thoughts. The only thing you can do is to be strong for her and get her to understand at a core level that you aren't the same as other guys.

You could also learn nlp, or other advanced shaping methods. Then write out how you want her personality to be, then when you finally get back in contact with her you can begin changing her personality to fit you. This to me takes to much damn effort, and anyone who has ever tried to get someone to do something that they didn't want to will tell you how hard that is.

_________________
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extraordinary individuals do that’s different from everybody else, and then emulate
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 4:35 am 
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1. How was she raped?
2.What did you say?


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 6:26 am 
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Well, she was in a pretty fucked up place when she was at a physics competition, she felt asleep as she drank just a little and then a guy came and fucked her while she was unconscious, in the morning she had felt weird and when she went into the bathroom she started screaming and going mad.
Well, I could always sense when there was something wrong with her, my intuition in our relation was the most weird one for I can sense her. She was lying to me for a while and I ignored it for I thought that she must be firstly understood. But afterwards something bad happened to me and I ended up in hospital and she couldn't come and I asked her why didn't she come and then she said that she felt guilty and stuff.
Then I asked her about what happened and I told her that I knew that there was something wrong.

She's pretty damaged but she has a strong will, she didn't allow this to make her mad. She kept calm for a while but she's emotionless. That's why she asked for a break-up for she cannot and doesn't "have time" for a relationship. Yet, we still chat, I still make her smile and stuff like that, but we cannot see eachother for a while. Weird.


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