Here's the story,

I work as a bartender/waiter in a building that also houses an university. I'm recently graduated, so all my "customers" are about my age and a good number of them become close friends as I integrate in the group over the first few weeks of the semester. I host their schoolevents that involve drinking/food, go out with them, join them on the annual ski-holiday,... One of the female freshmen seemed somewhat interested in me from day one, but I didn't think of it too much as I was too busy socializing with the rest of the group and she has a very sociable anyway.

Since then I think she's been giving me a few IOI's, and might be starting to see her in a different light. I say I think she's been giving me IOI's, because I'm generally that guy that is COMPLETELY oblivious to such social signals. I'm easygoing and social, I just don't see what's going on and fail to respond properly. Here's a few of the situations we've interacted in (in chronological order) and she might have been sending signals I completely fumbled:

1. First night out she's dancing, nods her head at me and winks with her finger to invite me to come dance with her. I was standing in a different group, and am an absolutely horrendous dancer. The music was of a level where yelling in one's ear was required to have any conversation, so I just continued the interaction with the group I was standing in.

2. At some point I invited her to join me for squash as my regular partner was unable to make it and I'm training for a spartacus run (some sort of ironman sport event). She laughed it away saying squash was not her thing and she'd never done it. Later that week she approached me with a friend asking if I'd been able to find anybody else. We made smalltalk about it and the friend asked if she could come next time (she has a boyfriend). When I invited her a few weeks later over text she never responded. No clue what that was all about.

3. At a reception I'd hosted at my bar, right at the end when most people were leaving she asked me to stop working and come dance with her (there was nobody dancing anymore). Again the bad dancer excuse in my head (I know, I know), and I was just doing a liquor run. By the time I'd gotten back, she was dancing with another female friend.

4. At another party where everybody was ridiculously drunk, I was getting another keg out back and she joined me there. She wasn't really supposed to be there, but started making smalltalk about her brother's travels (I'm an avid globe-trotter). It's quite a confined space back there, and in hindsight this was a huge missed opportunity on my side. I was too shitfaced to realize it at the moment though, and so was she judging by the stories the next day...

5. Last time the bunch of us were going out, she spent most of the night outside smoking and talking to a bunch of her brother's friends (apparently she's really close to her brother). When I'd come outside she introduced me as the best bartender in the world that works at her university, but didn't really pull me into the conversation or acknowledge me the rest of the evening.

This all transpired since october, evenly spread over that time. Next up on the social calendar is a group christmas-dinner the 18th, then two weeks of holidays (she won't be around), and after the exams in january they leave school for internships. The only thing then is a 1 week ski-trip in february.

What's your assessment of the situation and would we a good way to play this hand without making this all too awkward (imagine a potential couple forming in your average 20-person class and its social dynamics...). And where did I go wrong in the above and what would've been a better approach?

A playboy operator would have initiated something with her on day 1.

The advice you can expect to receive from posting this scenario in a pua forum is, make your move already man.

She has given countless instances where she is into you and you have not reciprocated. No worries though my dude, this is probably still salvageable.

You're already seeing her off and on at various events etc. so next time, just hang with her. I would invite her out for a drink for the reason that the frame is already set where when you two see eachother out, nothing happens. So if you were to go up to her at a party and start kino escalating her, her wires may get crossed. On the other hand if you invite her out or even segue to a bar with her 1-on-1 on a night you see her out, it will tell her that you are beginning to reciprocate her interest.

Ok guys, little update on this.

So I asked her out for a drink, she declined due to a deadline but immediately suggested a drink after the "creative explosion" the next day. This creative explosion is an annual event here in the university where all the students have to present a unique, creative talent they have to the rest of the group. Always great entertainment

Anyway, the creative explosion ends and I open up the bar because the professor decides to buy the whole group a drink. The girl makes some smalltalk at the bar, but as I am working I can't really take it anywhere. She mingles with the rest of the group, and there is no mention of a drink afterwards. A while later, I'm closing up the back of the kitchen, get back to the bar and the last 5 people (her included) are putting on coats and heading out. She didn't linger, didn't mention a drink afterwards, didn't say goodbye. Straight from chatting at the bar with the others to out the door and gone. It was midnight at that time.

So I'm quite clueless as to what's going on here. Either there has been a miscommunication about having the drink after the creative explosion, she had completely forgotten about it or she felt it was just too late to go out for another one. That or she hasn't been interested at all and I've misinterpreted this whole situation (she didn't want to go out with me in the first place).

Either way, what the hell am I supposed to do now? Bluntly asking her out again for drinks will most likely come over needy. As in, "will you PLEASE come out with me sometime?!". We have the group christmas dinner thing coming up next week thursday, but that will most likely be the 50 of us just having dinner at a restaurant...

Lastly, at the bar afterwards, she asked me what talent I would have presented. I jokingly replied that she should've called me out, and that now we'll never know. She proceeded to challenge me to come present it at the chrismas dinner. I agreed, but now it appears that getting a projector there might be a challenge. The reason I'm so keen on this is because I travel the world to climb buildings/bridges and explore the unseen underground. Think hydro powerplant under niagra falls, the pyramids of cheops, the notre dame, brooklyn bridge, the chrysler building,... I think it would be a nice DHV, but chasing the opportunity might seem a bit like a show-off. How would you play this card?

You played it passive. Women need you to take the reigns. As in telling her while you're working the bar, "I should be off around X:30, we can grab the drink then." She may have been lingering waiting for you to confirm things. I personally wouldn't do the creative explosion in front of the group of 50, mainly because she challenged you to do so, but that is just me.

You have high value, I can tell. Match your actions up with all of the great shit you have to offer women. As in, take actions.

As to this particular girl, since the 'deal' of going for a drink with her wasn't closed last time, just invite her to something you're going to be doing, it doesn't have to be anything 'fancy', just anything; for example text her "hey i'm going to the park to walk the neighbors dog tomorrow, come keep me company."

She suggested an alternate meetup last time; so if she is still interested, she will possibly either agree to your proposal or once again suggest an alternate meetup.

So, last update on this I reckon.

I asked her out directly, saying "Hey, I get off at x 'o clock, do you want to join me for drinks afterwards?". She claimed to be busy working on a presentation for tomorrowmorning, still having a fuckton of work, "but thanks anyway". It's true they have a presentation tomorrow, but there's still loads of time to finish prep on that and she's generally not the girl that's really uptight about timing/planning.

Anyway, she didn't suggest an alternative at all. Move on with the lessons learned and better luck next time? We still have the group dinner tomorrownight (apparently they ordered WAY too much champagne too...), but I have a feeling she will either come on really strong, or it will be awkward as all fcking hell. Probably the last option tbh.

Thanks for the sound-board in any case. I've learned so much more about social dynamics in the last few months than in 20-something years of being the nice-guy :p

Hey you gave it a shot what else can you do bro. Props for giving it a shot. At the group meeting I'd be unphased and in an upbeat mood. Recall the way you feel the day after having sex and behave in that manner non-arrogantly if you wish for this girl to wonder about you and maybe initiate interest in you once again.