Girl says she deleted pof but hasnt after a month. Call out?



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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2014 10:10 pm 
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Don't say anything and learn to not care. Girls will lie. They will lie a good bit sometimes. The only time you call out a girl on a lie (a lie that isn't really that important_ is if you are in a serious relationship and you expect honesty.

She might have deleted it and then restarted it after a while, or one night when she was at home alone and bored. You never know. Calling her out on it just seems childish.
I think even though I know the answer, my question may have been misunderstood.
I don't wanna call her out in a AFv way but in a way that shows
I don't care but I know you have it. Asking her if she has had any good messages in a joking way or playfully saying something so that she knows I know but is ok with it. Does anyone understand this part I'm trying to explain?

She is the type that if I said to her for example that I have a pof date, she would probably go as she doesn't seem like the playing around type. Then again we can all have suspicions of what we think somebody is like.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 02, 2014 11:33 pm 
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I think even though I know the answer, my question may have been misunderstood.
I don't wanna call her out in a AFv way but in a way that shows
I don't care but I know you have it. Asking her if she has had any good messages in a joking way or playfully saying something so that she knows I know but is ok with it. Does anyone understand this part I'm trying to explain?

She is the type that if I said to her for example that I have a pof date, she would probably go as she doesn't seem like the playing around type. Then again we can all have suspicions of what we think somebody is like.
You have to ask yourself why this is so important? She's not your girlfriend. If you're having trust issues because of it, she's not girlfriend material for you. If you call her on it, best case is all she is going to do is figure out how to sneak things past you better because she knows you have the need to verify what she says.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 12:44 am 
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You have to ask yourself why this is so important? She's not your girlfriend. If you're having trust issues because of it, she's not girlfriend material for you. If you call her on it, best case is all she is going to do is figure out how to sneak things past you better because she knows you have the need to verify what she says.
Thanks for this outlook. It will look like I am not believing her and only throw up walls instead of let her be open and do things of her own accord won't it.....


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 5:56 am 
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Girls are weird. Doesn't mean she lied at the end of the day. Maybe she deleted it, went one day to check if you'd deleted yours, saw you up, and decided to open it again so her options are open. Maybe she just lied to you. It's a lie if she says currently she's not on it. You're not her bf, so she can reopen it if she did delete it. In this situations is tough to decipher someone being dishonest or someone who just changed their mind and didn't think it was a big deal. Unless she PROMISED you she was closing it, I can see your point that she didn't keep her word, but most likely she just told you offhanded she deleted it.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 8:15 pm 
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I would have called her out on it. Id have said in Jokey way deleted POF eh with a sly smile and just left it at that or pulled out my phone and start browsing pof in front of her. You can all her out but you cant apear butt hurt or needy about it in anyway.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 9:08 pm 
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I would have called her out on it. Id have said in Jokey way deleted POF eh with a sly smile and just left it at that or pulled out my phone and start browsing pof in front of her. You can all her out but you cant apear butt hurt or needy about it in anyway.
What about asking in jokey way, "when are you gonna change your pics on pof to some more recent ones?"


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 10:13 pm 
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Yeh good one. You want to let her know you know whats shes upto without appearing in away bothered by it. Hard I know :wink:


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 5:23 am 
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Anyone else agree with the above?

Letting her know you know but not bothered? In a very cool off the shoulder thing? It's not about whether it's a gf or not. It's about raising awareness but also, I grabbed from earlier that it could mean she hides something even more so....


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 1:17 pm 
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Ctrlindustries: Every person in this thread has given you advice contrary to what was just given. It's an interesting viewpoint, but you're going to now latch onto that advice because someone finally agreed with your outlook.

I think you know what you should do here, honestly...


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 10:55 pm 
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It's strange. I'll be honest with you all.

I've never had this before in my 5 years of gaming. Why the f*** now? I'm too smart. Why is this getting to me? I guess unless we do become exclusive I can get this off my chest. I've taken to improving my inner game to get rid of this. I already decided I will say nothing and continue having fun. My mind is posting here more so than actions.

She is spending a lot of time with me. Like 3 times a week already. Every Saturday night and usually Sundays or whole of a weekday followed by the same and previous night over. This has to be a good sign. And despite advice given I don't know why I'm finding this so hard. Wtf! @ myself!


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 11:39 pm 
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Are you on pof?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 9:35 am 
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No. I haven't been for a few weeks.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 1:09 pm 
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No. I haven't been for a few weeks.
Oh that is weird then. Kinda bad if you're not on there and she knows that but still is.

Look, truth is, she could be exclusive with you and just on there for the attention. This whole thing could be nothing. Or.... She could be on there taking dick.My advice would be to be honest (not about the stalking though). I'd say (in person) I was helping my friend at lunch set up his profile and you popped up on his search. What are you doing on there?

Calling out a contradiction does not make you needy. Expecting honesty doesn't make you needy. She's not your gf, but if things are headed there you have the right to call out things that you're skeptical about. It's tough to describe but imagine you don't like smokers and she said she wasnt a smoker.Then one day you found a pack of cigs in her car. Wouldn't you ask her in a non needy way what's up with that? Because you're screening. If you bring up the pof thing correctly from the screening frame you'll be ok. When she answers look for whether she is telling the truth about it.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 2:52 pm 
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No. I haven't been for a few weeks.
Oh that is weird then. Kinda bad if you're not on there and she knows that but still is.

Look, truth is, she could be exclusive with you and just on there for the attention. This whole thing could be nothing. Or.... She could be on there taking dick.My advice would be to be honest (not about the stalking though). I'd say (in person) I was helping my friend at lunch set up his profile and you popped up on his search. What are you doing on there?

Calling out a contradiction does not make you needy. Expecting honesty doesn't make you needy. She's not your gf, but if things are headed there you have the right to call out things that you're skeptical about. It's tough to describe but imagine you don't like smokers and she said she wasnt a smoker.Then one day you found a pack of cigs in her car. Wouldn't you ask her in a non needy way what's up with that? Because you're screening. If you bring up the pof thing correctly from the screening frame you'll be ok. When she answers look for whether she is telling the truth about it.
It's out of principal right? If she responds with oh I forgot to delete it but haven't used it, then it's an honest error but it could be that she wants attention but if you say to someone's face you did something, why wouldn't you?Charles has given me the best advice so far and I've been working hard on inner game to combat the negative feelings I've been having. If someone isn't straight up now wouldn't calling something out establish whether they are straight up or not rather than ignoring things and living a life with things hidden?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 4:02 pm 
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Did I misread? I thought you said you saw she was active /online on it recently.

It sounds like you're saying she is active online by the app thing. I'd put it out there to say obviously we are not on the same page. Fine if she's dating with other guys but if that's the case I gotta take a step back and keep my options open and do the same.


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