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My motivation to ask her to do my laundry is that I don't have a washing machine and she does. (and this will save me time)But I have a feeling that this is not the right answer you are expecting.
You made a thread in the Relationship Section with a different title instead of, "I don't have a washing machine. How can I make my girlfriend do my laundry?"
Moreover, the explanation of your original post says it all. I wasn't expecting any right or wrong answer. I was simply ascribing to the context of your OP.
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Idk how is it about the others but I try to maintain some fairness/balance in the relationship.
IMO I think this is the best way to maintain things healthy and you show that you are valuable and worthy when you don't sell yourself short.
HOWEVER the girl often contrasts me with sentences like: "if you love me you would not look for everything to be fair" "when you do something for people it should come from your true hearth" and things in that manner but with slightly negative tone.
In reality YES I like her and do things for her, but I just try not to over do it (as I was doing before) and I know if I over do it leads to bad consequences. I do seek for fairness balance and equableness, but occasionally I fall in situations where I get double minded.
Like last night for instance. She asked me to borrow some money to pay for her taxi since she has forgotten her wallet (it was true she really forgot it). I'd usually say something like: "OK cool but u'll need to do my laundry later".
And on this I was sure she would say again that I always look for fairness and if I want to do something I should do it from my hearth and not look for everything to be fair... blah blah...
The most constructive thing I managed to come up was to say her "ok lets walks a bit toward your place and if you get tired will call you a taxi" and eventually we walked to her place.
I know similar situation will occur in the future, so what best way to proceed with those. If I say her straight NO I come accross as "not caring for her" if I say YES I come across as "the bank" for her (applying the influence principle of commitment and consistency will give her next time the advantage to do it again and again etc.") and also I sell myself short and lower my inner worth. Whats the golden middle point for dealing with those?
Share please your experience.
You want a healthy, mutually supportive relationship? Learn from the guys who made the same mistakes as you are doing now. You don't want to sustain a one sided and abusive relationship with a manipulative woman just for the sake of sustaining it and be miserable for the rest of your life.
Cull out bad behavior and encourage good behavior. What you want is a very supportive woman who understands that both of you are on the same team; not a manipulative woman who wants to get as many favors from you and won't make an effort to reciprocate your time and effort for the relationship to work.
Condition her to be a very supportive woman. Meanwhile, cull out any manipulative tendencies from her end. Men are usually blamed when relationships fail to work so you might as well take the bull by the horns. This way, when your relationship fails to work, being blamed will have a proper basis. If it works, you know deep in your heart that you were 100% responsible for leading your woman to make your relationship work.
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