HER DEEPEST LOVE COMES IN THE FORM OF CHALLENGE

As it appears on the surface men tend to be driven by their egos. We want the nice cars, beautiful women, money, and the power because it does something for our ego. There is nothing about a material tangible that has any true value other than the sense of external worth it attributes to the owner. And because men are ego driven we often find ourselves falling in love with women who have mastered the ability to feed the male ego. As men we begin to develop that “pat me on the head” motherly type of love for the women and I often find it is the men who had troubling relationships with their mothers(as I myself had) that seek this type of attention from women the most. Secretly they are still looking for mommy, and so they will find themselves attached to ego filling women. Although it is essential that we know that it is not through validating the ego that a woman shows a man she loves him. When a woman decides to show a man love, attention, and affection she is in fact doing him a favor. It is not a sign that she cares about him; she is simply admiring him. And this is often where men make their biggest mistakes when dealing with a relationship — men often assume that when a woman tells them how great they are that it is a sign that the women is in love with them and so they make attempts at developing a relationship with a woman based off of that attribute alone.

When in fact a woman will lose respect for any man who just takes her words to heart and changes how he feels about her just based off her words. As men, we have to understand that women a woman tells you something like “I love you” she is telling that to the guy that you were just before she said it. It is the guy you were being to her before she said it that produced the chemical reaction in her that caused her to express her feelings. Therefore if you allow her saying “I love you” in the moment to affect how you feel about her in ANY WAY, you are no longer the guy she loves. You have become a new guy; that has changed because of the words that were said to him. You are being swayed by the motions of your woman emotions and a woman can never trust such a man. Men are to be an anchored ship during the waves of their woman emotions and not an empty plastic bottle floating on the top of the water. And so, when a woman tells you how she feels about you make a mental note to remain unmoved. Remain the guy she said it to; prevent yourself from being the new guy that has been shaped by his woman words. Because once you do that, in her spirit she no longer loves you. She loves the guy you were and often times as we all do will remain in hopes that you become the guy she loves once again.

And so how does a woman show her love?

Through challenge.

When a woman loves a man, she will test him and by testing him she will be creating an opportunity from him to grow from the inside out. Most praise will only allow a man to grow superficially. Just look at some of the contestants on shows such as American Idol in which these horrible singers go to auditions with supporting family members telling them that they can sing; only to be let down and broken-hearted when they get before the judges. Is the supporting family showing true love by not being honest and letting the singer know that they need to work on their craft before auditioning? No. They are showing superficial love; surface level support and what they don’t realize is that if they don’t tell them person they are supporting the truth the world will and it will sting ten times as hard when the world does it — especially after having been built up into something they aren’t. A good woman knows this subconsciously and she understand that although there is a time for praise, adoration, and affection there is also a time for challenge. And it is through her challenging you that she shows you that she loves you. Along with it being a way for her to show you she loves you it is also a way for you to show her you love her. It is a way for her to see if you will crack under the pressure of her being difficult and respond to her in an ill manner — potentially taking back some of the loving words and/or promises you made to her in the past. And if she can commit and action or stir up a reaction in you that makes you break your word; she then has to question whether you actually mean the things you say or not. So if you’ve ever told her you loved her and then respond to her being problematic in a way that shows that you don’t; the prior expressing of your love to her has now been voided.

Now, how does a man properly respond to his woman test and challenges? How does he show her that he has grown from her test and challenges so that she can feel comfortable praising him once again?

With strength, humor, and love.

Women want to be penetrated with love from their man at all times. Whether that be physically, verbally, mentally, and/or spiritually. Unlike men, it is women who grow from praise more so than through challenge. Women aren’t ego driven in the same way that men are. Praise builds them up deeply; because they don’t have the self crippling ego that we as men do. They are without that barrier and so our praise will penetrate directly to the source. Which will almost explain why the “ Power In A Proper Compliment” article I wrote before this works so effectively.

Let’s say a your woman hasn’t been feeling you love and/or she feels like its time for you to grow in an area. Let’s say she has begun to feel like you put too much value into the material things and how they make you feel about yourself.

So one day you’re getting dressed and looking in the mirror and your woman walks over and says “ Eww. I don’t like your shirt “

A man must now consider a few things..

A) Ultimately a woman wants to know that you trust your highest judgment over anyone else’s(even hers); so a response such as “ Fine I’ll change it” will speak to the weakness in your character which is probably the reason she’s testing you in the first place. Do you not trust your own ability to pick out a nice shirt? Must Mommy do it for you?

B) You get upset or deflated and say something like “ You said you liked this shirt the last time! Shut up! You can’t make up your mind”. What happens here is you’ve criticized her and displayed that she can generate anger in you however and whenever she pleases. She is in fact in control, she is leading you; how can a woman trust such a man.

C) You understand that she’s testing you. She wants to feel your love in this moment. She wants to know whether or not you are in the driver’s seat of your own life. And so you smile out of excitement that she wants to feel your love and you respond “ Thanks baby. I like this shirt, but I love how honest you are.” And then you kiss her cheek.

Option C is of course the route that the man operating from his highest intelligence will go for.

A man needs to train himself to become excited and enthralled during the times in which his woman is being difficult. Because it is during these times that she is asking him to feel his love. That she is asking him to operate from his highest self and to show her what she means to him. If her challenging moods aren’t generating strength within you, a man must ask himself if... Finish the rest here Link removed by moderator for violation of forum rules. Links that serve to promote your business must be limited to your forum signature.

Eddie Fews

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I disagree with articles/posts like this because they make guys see bitchy behavior as tests or acts of attraction/love instead of the red flags they are. 99.9% of "tests" that guys write about here is a girl being a bitch. Guys take your advice and "pass" them, then they don't stop and the guy is miserable.
Double disagree here. I think a womans words shouldnt change the way you feel about yourself, but should change the way you feel about HER. Screw whether she loves you. Screw whether she respects you. Sorry, but my biggest priority is not how a girl feels about me, it's how I feel. And bitchy comments, negativity or "tests" make me lose attraction for a girl. As men we shouldnt be passing tests...because even if you pass a test you're still playing her game. She won. If you get a perfect score on the SAT, who really has authority, you, or the SAT board that administered the test?

I'm laughing man. I think you missed it, but its all perspective. Unless you're living on a planet that I am not living on women are going to test. When you enter a partnership with them you become teammates. Sure you're the lead teammate, but the lower team still has its role. And thats to crown the captin.

But i'm all for disagreeing; but only with those that provide an alternative solution. Whats yours? And are you in a relationship? And how do you deal with it when things take turns left or right? I can't remember a time in my life in which things remained perfectly stable without challenge. What movie are you living in?

And if you go to the site and read the whole thing I put a clause between what a challenge is and what disrespect is. Because there is a big difference. But to say a woman challenge to her man is not her making an attempt to build him is a bit immature and it clearly shows a lack of experience being intimate with the opposite sex.. How old are?

Not to mention; this isn't something she is doing consciously. She's operating from her emotions. Women are the subconscious and are consciously following the emotions of the subconscious. Its for us as LEADERS to know why they operate the way that they do. Not for them to get a pass.

And even if I am COMPLETELY wrong. I'm advising men to use a woman challenge as a platform to elevate them to higher levels. If as a man you're constantly unhappy then you're probably with the wrong woman and/or too weak to deal with the women in front of you. But use it as a platform. I will NEVER allow a woman to make me unhappy because my happiness is more important. Happiness trickles down from the top to the bottom. So she can only be happy long-term if i am happy. But that doesn't mean she won't challenge and I won't pout like a little girl when my woman starts being a bit difficult. Because I'm strong enough to snap her right out of it.

You'll learn though buddy. no worries.

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Yes I am in a great relationship. No tests. How? Because I screen women based on beauty AND emotional maturity and won't excuse someone's lack thereof as her wanting a challenge. Yes, a relationship will always have challenges like balancing priorities, but I don't accept women who make challenges. The doctrine that women are emotional, men are logical is more of a silly PUA concept to justify certain actions. Men are emotional too, as you've shown in your condescending response to me. Fine to be emotional, but I look for emotional maturity in a woman so that she doesn't need drama or petty confrontations to feel something for me. Too many men, are good at faking it so they play these games. They are good at faking it and they get women, but if you're not a naturally attractive guy with an attractive lifestyle, you'll continue to be tested. They DHV because the have to overcompensate for lack of value, they have to flirt with other women because they must show that other girls would want them BECAUSE they're actions with their own gfs suggest other girls wouldnt want them. So you're tested in the first place by wifing a girl who knows she's giving you shit, and tested more because she sees incongruency with who you appear to be. I could go a year without women in my life and be just as content. I'm ambitious for myself. I treat my friends well because I value them. I improve myself because I care about myself. And I don't value pussy in any way. It took years and alot of life experience to get to that point. So I don't get tested. Many guys pretend to value themselves but it's just the roundabout solution to get women. "Dont give a fuck about a girls attractiveness...because they'll pick up on this and want you more." It's roundabout and can work but thats why you get tested. Because it's not naturally you. You're still not valuing yourself to expect her to be better because youve already excused her challenges in her head. You expect her to test you, she will, because you're already accepting less than ideal, no tests. When you say "she WILL test you" it's because youve already made concessions on what you want so of course she will.

I think there is something you're missing about me buddy. But I'm fine agreeing to disagree. I myself am very much attractive with the lifestyle to boot and there are plenty of easy women who wouldn't have the heart to challenge me or test me but I don't find myself attracted to those kinds of women. At least not for long. I'm usually in and out and bored with them. I value a woman who challenges me, because I use it as a platform to develop and grow. Mommy issues ? Maybe. But thats what gets me going. I'm glad to see you're superior male who has perfectly selected the perfect woman who provides you with everything you need and so you never have to deal with anything stressful during a relationship. But I simply get bored with those women. I've been with all kinds of women. From the smarts to the dumbs from the talls to smalls from blacks to whites. And I know what I need. And woman who provides me with a challenge and purposely pushes me to grow is important to me. Its not for everyone, but neither am I and neither are my articles.

Perhaps you want an easy woman, thats fine. Enjoy her. I personally don't; and I don't feel like I have to adopt your lifestyle or what you desire in a woman for me to be in a happy relationship. As I said before I am VERY much happy. And my girl knows I wouldn't think twice about leaving her if she stepped too far out of line. But in small amounts she can act up; I get a kick out of it and it test my emotional capacity to remain unmoved by her moods.

Didn't mean to be condescending, I simply took offense to you feeling as if your way is superior just because it is how you're living your life. Or the way you described it made me think that way. We all want different things out of life and we all look for different things based upon what we want. I thrive off of challenge and pressure, and I know many men who do and men who don't. My article is for the men who do. If you're aren't that guy; you're free to pass me on by.

Enjoy your easy life neo87. I happen to provide a quality of advice to both this forum and peoples lives that has permanately changed them for the better. I disagree with a lot of what you say, but I also understand that we create our own reality so what works for you works for you. Glad to see you following me and reading my stuff though. I thank you a million. You could be doing anything with you time, but you're here with me and I appreciate that.

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Follow this guy's advice if you want a horrible relationship. smh.
You must need basic lessons on what love is. One of the most fundamental qualities in love is trust. Do you think a woman who trusts her man will keep testing him? Stop giving people garbage advice, man. It is essential that a woman be able to relax and trust the husband. If the man is good enough, why is there a need to test him?

awwwww young lady. Thanks sweetheart

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Huh? Your entire post was just condescending again. Look, make money however you want but if you truly are trying to help guys that stuff is childish for a guy teaching social development. I'm not knocking your hustle but this is just a regurgitated thesis that you obviously can't support beyond trying to amog or something online. I said I disagree and why and from the beginning you came at me emotionally because you probably didn't think what you were saying true. Say your stuff and get the guys too stupid to question you or too poor to afford a solid teacher. But if you gotta act childish when someone disagrees its because you're just selling something and don't even believe what you're saying.

You are what you see in others kid. And you're still taking offense to it. So let me be condescending if thats how you see it, just be better.

Thank you for the time and energy.

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i'll never understand why guys try to out-"my life is cool as fuck and i don't give a fuck about women" each other on this site. like bro you have over ONE THOUSAND posts on here... where do you find the time to do that in your incredible life? and more importantly why the hell are you doing it if you don't give a fuck about pussy and are in a great relationship? complete waste of your time.

if you don't care, why are you on this site? i don't get guys saying this shit. i obviously care. you obviously care.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

Wtf are you talking about? I disagree with a post, a guy questions my experience with women, I state the facts and how I approach relationships... and somehow I'm trying to act like my life is cool? So if a guy made a post about looks don't matter, I say the do, he questions my looks so I say I'm good looking you'd see me as a braggart right? Lol. If anyone tried to up someone it was Eddy when he was condescending and questioned my personal success off the bat for me saying I disagree. Your logic is seriously flawed. The first one you should be calling out for trying to outdo someone would be the guy trying to outdo someone, not the guy responding.

So you want to know why I post. Read my posts dude... whether or not you disagree with what I write, 99% of what I write is telling guys to leave shitty relationships and to focus on their happiness. I don't give tips on how to fuck a girl, I don't give text tips or better than anyone posts. If you have an issue with guys who brag, be a man and jump on one of the threads where that actually happens... not the guy who writes mostly I agree heres why or I disagree heres why. Nothing wrong if you really care about pussy, just go call out the guys who are really talking about it. That's like me calling out Hellhound as the guy who advocates celibacy or Hunter fox as a white knight.

i don't think you're in the wrong for defending yourself against eddie in this case and i agree with much of what you're saying here (and in general) on a theoretical level. but it's your application of those principles to your own life that irks me. to address your analogy, if a guy made a post about looks and you said looks matter, then he questioned your looks, then you said you're good-looking but you personally don't really care about your looks and would be just as attractive without them... i'd call you contradictory, which i have here.

because you say you're in a healthy relationship, and that while there are no tests (there are, you're just passing them or have already passed them, and they're not conscious "i will now test my man" tests, which *can* be selected against, so kudos), there are still the routine challenges of being in a relationship. then, and this is the bizarre part, you go on to say you'd be just as content without a woman in your life. if that's the case, why on earth do you have a girlfriend?? why expend any effort into a relationship at all? why take the time to drive to her house, buy her dinner on her birthday, etc... if you'd be just as content without her? it's blatant contradiction or else masochism. she obviously adds happiness to your life. and keeping her your girlfriend is obviously a priority. the former is obvious because otherwise you would not call your relationship "healthy" by anyone's definition; the latter because otherwise you wouldn't have preselected her in accordance with a certain strict set of criteria.

not to mention all of this being magnified by the fact that you have a prodigious amount of posts on a pick-up artist forum. your very presence at this forum instead of an actual relationship forum betrays an initial interest in attracting women and an initial inability to do so to your liking. your continued presence betrays an interest in advising others on relationship matters, which makes no sense if you're not simultaneously striving to preserve your own and actually cognizant of and able to teach the mechanics of its preservation, which makes even less sense if you'd be just as happy without one. that, neo87, is seriously flawed logic.

finally, there's a difference between saying "you should go out and live an incredible life to attract women" and saying "i live an incredible life therefore i attract so many women." hunter and hellhound and other vets appear to often say the first bit but not the second. i'm not implying you're saying those exact words, but there is discord between what you're saying and what you're actually doing, or better put there is discord between your actions and your claims of being just as happy without these actions, which begs the question why act in the first place, why not *actually* focus on yourself...

i don't mean to single you out. if i see it elsewhere i'll comment on it the same. and i expect others to do the same to me.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

See, this is something I never understood, why is it when you guys don't get what someone is saying, you go to calling bs or seeing things from your world view? And yes, there is a HUGE difference with how I said I disagree with Eddie's post, and you saying I'm bullshitting and contradictory.

I was the first to say in this thread a relationship always has challenges. Look, I was the biggest guy who preached about tests, and once I got with enough women and stopped trying to game them in relationships and just be myself, I noticed I didn't get tested. Not that I couldn't see the tests...I can't honestly think of a time my gf did something that could be considered a test. If a test is testing that you're in control or whatever, she doesn't.

Also, me saying I don't need a woman isn't as simple as you make it sound. I have goals, I'm working on businesses, focusing on additional qualifications, hanging out with friends, health, fitness, learning new stuff like the guitar, travelling, reading, socializing. These things make me happy. And let's be real, any girl no matter how great they are, is just another person in your life. Not saying that gf doesn't make me happy, but I have other things that make me just as happy as well. What then, is the ability to walk away?

I'm not advocating not being passionate about women, just be passionate about the other things in your life as well. Genuinely. Sex and women, are one small part of a life. Here's a weird thing, Xmas is coming up and many guys are focused on what they'll get their gf. How many guys put thought into what they'll get their mom, or their best friend? We talk about not putting pussy on a pedestal, then make our whole lives revolve around banging chicks and keeping their interest, then wonder why they test us because on some level we need them too badly. If I'm excited about my friends, excited about my career, does my gf have to test that I can walk away?

As to why a pickup forum, it's to help and because I like dating/relationship experiences. Never even knew there were relationship forums, but I'd guess they would be too censored or fake sounding for my tastes. Again, I'm passionate about pickup and dating and relationships. So I post.

I'm not trying to PRESERVE my relationship. I've never said that. In fact, as I said here and in other threads, I say to focus on being happy. Why try to preserve a relationship? It's not a job. You like/love someone and enjoy each other's company. If she or you falls out of love or is losing interest, find a better match for you. I've said this over and over and over again. Do you see, how subconsciously, you see some merit in PRESERVING a relationship. So now do you see why women can pick up on you already trying for an outcome, hence they test you? When you aren't trying to preserve something, what's to test?

PS- And no, not trying to preserve something is not saying be lame. Be yourself and have fun. If your lame and she dumps you, find a lame chick. I have many interests so girls are interested. Heck, I'm buying a snowboard set to do alot of snowboarding this winter. With or without a girl.