Well, don't know how NHS works but you might not need to go past the GP...

But maybe I'm just used to American doctors, who are expensive but it's pretty easy to see and most GP's will just throw pills at anything.

Also had a thought earlier: Do you take adderall or anything for ADD/ADHD? Because Adderall absolutely kills erections. (Other ADD drugs might too, but I only have experience with adderall.)

No I didn't. But up to 2 months ago I was taking Zoloft/SSRI for a problem I used to have but lately been taking it more or less on autopilot even though I didn't need it, so I just stopped taking that after talking to my doc back home (which I can e-mail & get a reply the next day).

These do have a bad effect on erection in most people which is why I was hoping it would be better now as well that I stopped taking them.

Okay so yesterday we met and ended up at my place again after some stuff and no strong erection again. That's despite 100mg Viagra, no drink on my side and generally being much less tired. Oh and I tested the Viagra the day before alone and then my cock got hard super quick after a couple of strokes.

And I could get an erection OK even on that evening - before making out we danced zouk love (where one connection point is your waists) and my cock got hard in my trousers. Not sure if straight for sex but hard enough the trousers started to hurt...

So I guess now the only possible cause is it's purely psychological. Yes, I did try to be in the moment, and yes clearly I wasn't 100% of the time. It sounds like the only way to get this to work is to not care about it at all, like in other stages of pick up. So next time I am going to try to just relax, if we don't end up having sex, it's still going to be fun as I enjoy being with this girl generally and making out, petting, cuddling and spooning with a hot girl you like is very enjoyable.

SSRI's are notorious for erectile dysfunction, and can last in the system a while after you quit taking them. Get some milk thistle and vitamins can help flush that out of your system. You may have just found your problem if you include that with this stress of having to perform.

Do you stay hard for oral?

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RSDTyler

@ misteradma: I quit Zoloft like a month ago and checked with the doc, the effect should now be well gone...

@ Versalis: I've not made them give me oral. I guess I could try, it just doesn't particularly excite me to be honest/feels a bit strange to lead them to give me oral on a half-limp dick. It kind of feels embarrassing putting it in front of her.

This, I've had this problem for 11 years, first time with a new girl is aways hard for me to get hard.

Just relax and try more foreplay. Girls who suck good dick help a lot w this.

Not gonna lie, didn't read through all the replies but here's my advice.

Girls who are experienced are use to this, it's happened to me and just about every other guy on the planet. (Not being able to hard when it counts)

Even if you're not that nervous or anxious around her, it can still happen. (And has to me)

The go to option, like you mentioned is viagra. (Cialis is better in my opinion)

The best option is to hang out with her enough where you get comfortable around her.

But if it happens again just make light of the situation and keep moving.

If she likes you, she won't hold it against you for happening once or twice.

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That's actually one of the main points of oral. Especially if you're in bed. You lay on your back, she lines her pussy up on your leg and grinds on it while she sucks your dick. Gets her wet, and gets you hard. Then you can fuck the shit out of her

I suggest doggie. It's pretty easy to penetrate her, and it allows almost your entire dick to go inside. When you line up, find exactly where her vaginal cavity is with your finger and slide it in. Then, replace your finger with your dick.

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RSDTyler

OK thanks, will try the oral. I think this girl will need quite a bit of leading into it as she's not really tried by herself but I will switch into lying on the back and then I can slowly move her towards it.

And the rub-dick-on-pussy thing too. Last time I tried it for like 20 secs maybe, so next time I will try to make it a proper thing instead.

At this point it sounds like you've tried a few times with the same girl, so she knows about your issue? If she does and is ok with it that should help take some of the pressure off.

If you are at that point with this girl, another thing to try is just get naked and lie down together. Touch her, do some foreplay, try the pussy rubbing thing (my ex used to go wild when I rubbed her clit with my penis, soft or not) and if you still don't get it up just stop trying. Relax, cuddle, chat and once you've stopped pressuring yourself to get it up there's a good chance it'll happen.

If you're not there yet, consider explaining things to her and then trying it. Knowing she's ok with it can take some of the pressure off, and you can try more things to reach the end zone.

I've tried twice with the current girl. We've met altogether three times, the first time being the insta date.

It's kind of tenuous because she works 12-hour shifts 6 times a week (that's way above normal for Europe) and that leaves her really tired so we meet once a week which I guess that puts the pressure up a bit as I know she's making a decent investment to make it happen.

So I'd rather hold off explicitly talking about it for now as we've not been together that much, and making her go out to meet me on the only free day isn't easy as it is. With most girls if they are difficult to meet up I just next them without a blink, but this girl I really like & by how much I know her I know she's not just lazy/making it up.