Met this girl on OK Cupid - hb7.5/8 - sweet, a little reserved, down to earth girl. Does not seem like a breezy ass hoe at all. Very Respectful.

First date was awesome - talked and laughed a lot. Had dinner then went to a bar with a dance floor. We got really close. Here is first attempted kiss as we were face to face dancing -

Me: You wanna kiss?
Her: (laughed and shook her head) nooo I don't kiss on the first date
Me: whaaat!? Damn....that's the first time that's ever happened to me
Her: oh no! (laughing) did I hurt your self esteem I'm sorry...
Me. Naaaah you didn't it's cool - I wasn't gonna let you kiss me anyway
Her: (lol)
Me: but damn good answer....I dig you that much more
Her: awww reaallly???

We held hands a lot, freaked a lot on the dance floor. I led get out of the bar at the end of the night holdingg her hands then took her home. We had a good time. When we got home she texted me "so what should we do next" so I set up a second date.

2nd date: Had dinner again, then hit up an arcade for some friendly competition. After, I had got tickets for both of us to a small concert of an artist that she loved. She was super excited. Again, good intellectual conversations over dinner - pretty good rapport. But things were not as spicy this time around - because we had less chance of KINO.

During the concert, while standing up, she stood in front if me as I held her and grooving to the beats. We were holding hands and I was pressing my face against the side if her head - quite romantic actually lol. She was not facing me because everyone was faced forward watching the artist. At the end we walked out of the venue holding hands then walked to the car. In the car we had a conversation about how things were so far from meeting on OKC, since we have been talking and texting with this second date for about 3 and a half weeks. I held her hands while driving and told her that I'm really attracted to her, that we both click well and have the same core values. She agreed. I wanted to set a foundation and let her know that I was thoroughly interested in her and def. Did not want to be friendzoned.

At the end, I walked her to her car, hugged her and asked if she kisses on the second date. She hesitated and said "on the cheek". I played it cool so that I don't seem clingy or needy so I simply kissed her on the cheek and said bye.

I'm royally confused. A girl has never done this to me and quite frankly, my self esteem may be damaged a little lol. What do you guys think????

She's probably caught up with another guy.

First off, if you are dating, you should be dating around. You've met this girl twice and you're already ready to offer monogamy. The fact that you're going out of your way for this girl already shows that you don't have much going on otherwise.

Some people shine on the surface, and most don't last the test of time. You're better off doing nice things for a friend who has proven worth to you. This girl has proven to be an indecisive tease. You should be asking yourself, do I want someone who is more invested in me?

Also, there are ways of turning a girl on without kissing or crossing the line, like holding her in the way you would if you were fucking, sexually pulling her hair. Pulling her by the hips to grind your hard cock on her ass. Right now you're going for the kiss. If she's horny, she'll kiss you.

But really I would freeze her out until she comes back with the next play. Make it simple. Have her over or go to her place. Stop going out of your way for people that don't go out of there way for you.

_________________
Attraction is a choice.
ITS YOUR CHOICE!
Spread Love
-Ders


www.facebook.com/spreadloveders

You made the same mistake twice: Just go for the kiss. Asking kills the moment.

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Try not to seek for permission.
wait for the strong eye contact then go in "are you feeling adventurous" or Vitaly 3 questions k-close

Ok thanks guys. I ussually do that kiss question and it always works...obviously not with this girl. I will have to build a momentum with strong eye contact and KINO for next time. However...

I set up a 3rd date with her. She gave me the Friday after thanksgiving which i was surprised. Fridays and weekends are big days for girls to give away. I was talking to my girlfriends and they said on the 3rd date, do not even mention or try to kiss her to throw her off. What do you guys think?

What good would come of this? There has to be a bigger plan behind what they are saying. Maybe they're thinking she will believe you're losing interest so she'll know on the fourth date that she better kiss you? If that's a case, there are better plans to make her think you're losing interest without any money out of your pocket.

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True. But I beleive their advice was for the intent that I will not come off as needy, in a way that I must resort in scoring a kiss everytime. Since she has backed off twice, I may gain her respect this way (?) - by focusing on just having fun and the emotional connection instead of physical.

I was also scratching my head when they were telling me this. However, the girls told me that if she wants a kiss or makes strong eye contact, then go for it - just not to be pushy about it.

On one had, this challenge has intrigued me - because this girl is not as easy as the other girls that I have dated or sarged on, it makes me respect her more and I realise that I am more careful with my moves on this one. Have a met my match? Maybe...is persistence the answer?

On the other hand, am I wasting my time over thinking things and being too worried about losing this one? Maybe. Or maybe I really need to just not give too many fucks - go date other girls and not be so invested in this girl mentally or physically and financially.

FYI, I am 29 and she is 28 - just so that y'all understand the maturity level.

^
Yes. Never ask. Just do it.

Getting the turned cheek is just as bad as a flat out rejection anyway. You may as well try... better chance of success IMO.

This says it all to me. You two are acting like virgins. I'm assuming that at least one of you aren't.

A man that asks for permission to kiss is either young or inexperienced. It generally gives off the appearance on inconfidence. Can it work? Sure, if you are giving such a confident aura and you already know the answer is going to be yes.

Your female friends are doing you a disservice by telling you not to go for a kiss or even talk about it. They already know you and see what your value is and are assuming that your date sees that too. I on the other hand am assuming that you are paying for these dates and right now she gets the benefits of going out and having meals, drinks and going to concerts and what you got out of it was you kissing her on the cheek. It's so wrong to me that it makes me think that she is either just using you to go out and have a good time for free or there is another guy that is receiving her affection.

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Don't ask. Yes, most of the time the girl will say yes. But sometimes you asking will snap the girl out of the fun she is having and get her back into the "hey this guy likes me I need to let him know I'm not easy" mode where she wants you to jump through hoops. You should have kissed her while you were holding her during the concert. That's like movie shit right there.

It's the same principle as asking a girl if she wants to come up to your place and shag. Most girls will say no. But if you ask "do you want to come up for a drink" or "come up to watch a movie" the girl knows you're asking if she wants to spend the night. But she can say yes while feeling like she isn't being easy. But if you asked "come up and shag" she can't rationalize it in her head.

Ok guys, here is my update.

I was at work when she texted and asked if I wanted to go see a movie and that she'd drive down to me. When she got to my house after work, we grabbed some tacos as we played a questions game which carried some good rapport - she insisted to pay for the food. Then we were off to the movies and caught Big Hero 6 - she also insisted to pay for the tickets. I let her and this felt nice.

I knew I had to KINO early so I broke the ice and put my arm around her at the beginning of the movie by saying "damn girl what are you doing all the way in China? Come here" - she giggled, got closer to me and was a lot more relaxed. We enjoyed the whole movie while cuddling.

On our way back to the car, I pulled her in for a kiss before opening the door for her. She smiled and welcomed a wet one. When we got back to my place to drop her off at her car, I asked if she wanted to come in and check out my studio before leaving. We played some records, talked a bit, and I turned on a borring movie. She wanted to stay a little longer. I moved In for another kiss and next thing I know, we were both naked and fucking our brains out for the next hour. Done deal. Thanks guys.

Moral of the story: just go for it - lesson learned.