Getting her back: which is the best option A, B or C?



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2014 5:59 pm 
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Recently broke up with my 4 months GF after noticing her interest drop. I started acting more needy and it was going weird.

After 1 week, she texted me saying she wants to be my friend and do things together, asking if I wanted to meet up soon. I am not sure she really means, anyway, what would be my best behavior?

A) Say no, being a friend does not work for me, and walk away?
B) Meet up, see how things work out and go for the fclose. If it doesn't work, walk away?
C) Meet up, present myself as unavailable, elusive or not interested to build more attraction?

Any other ideas??
Thanks.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2014 6:18 pm 
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For future reference a girls romantic interest level will drop because of weak behaior on the guys part what most guys do when she gets distant is panic and show even more weak behvaior ie: neediness clingyness blowing up her phone inturn sealing their fate. When she gets distant you do NOTHING!!!! It is your INACTION that will cause her to wonder about you miss you and contact you. Its all about her feeling your strength while you're away.

Now onto your question you're friend zoned because of your weak behavior so you need to start showing the traits of an alpha male so I want you to call her text however it is you've been communicating with her and say exactly this. Hey ----- I thought about what you said about getting together I'm going to pass I like you I think you're a great girl, but I'm only interested in you romantically I'm not interested in being your male girlfriend, but if you change your mind give me a call. Then walk away never look back and wait for her to call you she has a level of interest in you because she still wants to be friends if she had no interest she would just totally ignore you. By showing the alpha male traits of walking away and not settling for anything less then what you want that will cause her interest in you to skyrocket. I'm weilling to bet you hear from her within a week when you do make definite plans to meet up treat her like your lover not her friend, and you'll be on the right track. I'm speaking from experience do exactly what I say and I am certain you'll get her back.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2014 6:44 pm 
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did you break up with her? if so then it's your world. she's hitting you back up because she misses you. hang out with her, f close, then don't talk to her for a while. if you don't f-close and she hits you up again to hang out, then you give her gunfighter's line:
Quote:
Hey ----- I thought about what you said about getting together I'm going to pass I like you I think you're a great girl, but I'm only interested in you romantically I'm not interested in being your male girlfriend, but if you change your mind give me a call.
i'd even cut out the "i thought about what you said" part and just say "lol you're a good (don't use great) girl but i don't want to be your male girlfriend." simple and alpha as fuck. remember to use "lol" at the beginning because it makes it sound less angry and more cocky on your part.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2014 6:53 pm 
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Look, I broke up with her because things weren't feeling any good, I knew she was loosing interest and I acted weird and needy.

I kinda agree to you both. I think both approaches would definately increase the interest a lot. I know the sex we had was amazing and that she'll want more. So I might agree to meet up AT MY PLACE (which is actually what she suggested on her text) and fclose her like a pro as I always did. Anyway if that doesnt happen, I'll be prepared to walk away.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2014 7:03 pm 
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With all due respect he needs to take my approach right off the bat. She wants to meet him as friends that says she has very minimal interest in him the odds of him f-closing are extremely minimal she will most likely brush off any attempt at any sort of kino/escalation.

Also don't use the lol she has to know he's serious there's nothing angry about stating what he wants and refusing to settle for less. He is leaving the door open to her that right there will show her he's not angry he's just not willing to settle. He's slowly getting power back the dumpee has the power in these situations. I have read countless I mean fucking countless threads on here the guy dumps the girl realizes he made a mistake tries to get her back, but she's developed the strength to move on, and he starts chasing only to be the weak needy bitch with no power. When the person that has been dumped reacts to it appropriately they have all the power believe me I'm going through this right now. Everything I've said in that above thread is field tested by me, and is the only way he'll get her back if he meets up with her now on her terms (friends only). He will likely not be in the prioper mental state and only drive himself further into the friendzone. That's why he needs to emply what I said starting now and the next time they meet its on his terms.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2014 7:29 pm 
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Quote:
With all due respect he needs to take my approach right off the bat. She wants to meet him as friends that says she has very minimal interest in him the odds of him f-closing are extremely minimal she will most likely brush off any attempt at any sort of kino/escalation.

Also don't use the lol she has to know he's serious there's nothing angry about stating what he wants and refusing to settle for less. He is leaving the door open to her that right there will show her he's not angry he's just not willing to settle. He's slowly getting power back the dumpee has the power in these situations. I have read countless I mean fucking countless threads on here the guy dumps the girl realizes he made a mistake tries to get her back, but she's developed the strength to move on, and he starts chasing only to be the weak needy bitch with no power. When the person that has been dumped reacts to it appropriately they have all the power believe me I'm going through this right now. Everything I've said in that above thread is field tested by me, and is the only way he'll get her back if he meets up with her now on her terms (friends only). He will likely not be in the prioper mental state and only drive himself further into the friendzone. That's why he needs to emply what I said starting now and the next time they meet its on his terms.
hmm but you're talking about a different scenario here. i mean she's hitting him up, right? so how does she have the power? he dumped her and she's trying to meet up with him a week later? sounds like (and i think OP has caught onto this) she's using the friends term as a way to hang out with the dude and bang him imo. it's different from a situation where a guy dumps a girl and then realizes he made mistake and starts hitting *her* up to hang out and chasing her in a vain attempt to win her back. in that scenario i totally agree with you.

but your way seems to convey too much interest and put too much pressure on her. "i've put a lot of thought into this and you're a really great girl but i don't want to be your friend. if you don't want me as a lover right now it's over forever." an alpha isn't gonna be that serious about all this shit. just "lol (or smirk emoji would be best honestly) nah not gonna be your male girlfriend." that's alpha. it's low interest on his part. it's not serious because women aren't serious entities to an alpha male, they're easily replaceable.

your theory is right: he needs to communicate alpha behavior by rejecting the friend zone. it's just the execution of it is way too strong.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2014 7:34 pm 
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Quote:
Look, I broke up with her because things weren't feeling any good, I knew she was loosing interest and I acted weird and needy.

I kinda agree to you both. I think both approaches would definately increase the interest a lot. I know the sex we had was amazing and that she'll want more. So I might agree to meet up AT MY PLACE (which is actually what she suggested on her text) and fclose her like a pro as I always did. Anyway if that doesnt happen, I'll be prepared to walk away.

see dude? she suggested meeting up with him at his place. she wants to fuck and doesn't want to come off overly strong so she's pinging him under the guise of being friends and hanging out. he doesn't need to give her an over the top ultimatum, just go and try to fuck her then leave without being needy whatsoever. repeat until the romance rekindles and then keep more of an alpha frame in the relationship without getting overly needy.

OP i recommend doing exactly what you just said. meet up at your place, f-close, go from there. If it doesn't happen, walk away and when she hits you up to do a friend zone activity then send the male girlfriend text back.

whichever route you choose, please report back here as i'm interested in how things turn out. good luck bro.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2014 8:21 pm 
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Have her meet you at your place and tell her to call you when she arrives. When she calls you tell her to come in. You will be completely naked with a rose in your mouth and some saxophone music playing in the background. DON'T have rose petals all over the place; that is cheesy as hel and you already have the one rose in your mouth. However having fresh herbs randomly placed around the room would be a nice bonus!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2014 8:46 pm 
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Quote:
Have her meet you at your place and tell her to call you when she arrives. When she calls you tell her to come in. You will be completely naked with a rose in your mouth and some saxophone music playing in the background. DON'T have rose petals all over the place; that is cheesy as hel and you already have the one rose in your mouth. However having fresh herbs randomly placed around the room would be a nice bonus!
HAHA that's totally ridiculous.

Ok, about the other comments, Gunfighter28 and Chantos. Look, she obviously have a lot more control at this point even though I broke up, it was going to be her net move and I reframed it as mine. It kinda worked because she still wants to be in touch, I KNOW she wants sex though, we were always great on this subject, and specially at my place, she's completely open to that possibility, she knows it. I agree Gunfighter28's path puts too much pressure onto her, and shows too much of my interest, I can't take that path. My only option is to become ffriends for now and just treat her less kindly and give her A LOT less attention after the sex. I am quite optimistic about this.

Thanks, will let you know how it goes!


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2014 8:50 pm 
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My only option is to become ffriends for now and just treat her less kindly and give her A LOT less attention after the sex. I am quite optimistic about this.
i absolutely agree with this move. but remember-- and this is where a lot of guys, myself included, struggle-- you have to be less kind *without* being mean. it's very awkward to do at first because we're so used to thinking "i have to be less kind, ok, well fuck this person." but you still have to be fun and positive and attractive. keep the vibe sexual and flirty and positive but just reduce the frequency of interactions after sex. i'm telling you man that smirk emoji is a fucking godsend to pua's.

good luck and report back!

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 27, 2014 10:17 pm 
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Interesting scenario. Report back the results OP :)


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2014 1:08 pm 
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Okay I have great news here. After hearing the "lets be friends" 3 weeks ago, I stopped talking to this girl. Also kept my life going the best I could. I was desperate for her, and got all the meditation and self help that i could find. Only through peace of mind I would really be ready to meet her again.

This happened 4 days ago, i saw her in a gig and went to say hello. She was confused maybe, to see me smiling and relaxed. I also happened to be with a friend of mine, a HB 8. We agreed on meeting up, so I texted her the next night asking "whats up" and amazingly she invited me to a party she had to go. We had a great time, lots of flirting and touching but no kissing. We arranged to go out on the next night again, gave her a good night kiss on her lips, which made her blush.

Next night, we were supposed to go to another gig but she came to my place and we just stayed here the whole night, talking, having a spliff, looking at stars and having a great time, as friends again, flirting and touching, no kissing. I feel she is a bit resistent, testing the grounds probably because she's afraid I might feel insecure and needy like i did in the past, but I am not. She didn't sleep over, but I again went for the good night kiss and grabbed her real good, a bit caveman, certain of myself, and kissed her a few times, which made her blush again. She kissed me back but still, I can feel a bit resistance. Normally things would have escalated to great sex.

Fact is, I am not worried about the outcome anymore, I am having fun the way things are. If she's coming back, means she's attracted. In other words, things are almost as what they were before, but without my insecurity and needyness. I feel free from mental attatchments and really happy about where I am now. I just know I am in control now. Not of her, but of myself, which ends up to be the same thing :)


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2014 9:21 pm 
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Well done. From here I would give one piece of advice. She is resisting, yet you keep complying with her requests to hang out. Do not be afraid to reject her at times. For instance, if she invites you somewhere, do NOT drop other plans to go. Have a life, if you already have plans at times, it demonstrates high value. You have this dicked when she wants to join you for whatever it is that you are planning to do.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 17, 2014 3:50 am 
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From my limited experience, it seems like she likes you but wants to talk to (fuck) other guys. Or possibly, she is just hanging around until she finds someone she feels is subjectively better to her.

- If you want a relationship, if you have feelings for her, RUN
- If you want to fuck her, keep fclosing

Also take anything I say with a grain of salt ;) Good luck man


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 17, 2014 5:22 pm 
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Quote:
From my limited experience, it seems like she likes you but wants to talk to (fuck) other guys. Or possibly, she is just hanging around until she finds someone she feels is subjectively better to her.

- If you want a relationship, if you have feelings for her, RUN
- If you want to fuck her, keep fclosing

Also take anything I say with a grain of salt ;) Good luck man
That's exactly the case. There's an extra detail to this story. She's very hot, she's also a celebrity and very narcissistic. It's a tough situation, I am slowly making myself less available but that's really tricky as it depends on her coming after me, which doesn't happen often. She'll be out of the country with her lesbo friend (she's bisexual herself but doesn't fuck this particular friend) and will be back in about 20 days. I am cutting all communications off till then.


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