The girl that I'm currently with is very right brain, spontaneous, emotional, sensitive and change in opinion type of girl. While me I'm more logical (although not always) go to guy.

So she told me few times in different forms that she needs her man to know how to sense/feel her.

What does it means translated in guys language? For me this sounds too ambiguity and not specific. Any tips?

Should I think about it at all or just run my game without paying too much attention. (Althought I always strive to improve myself...)

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

I can't say for certain man, but based on the information you gave I say that if you want a strong relationship, this is something you should definitely address rather than sweeping under the rug.

When she say she needs you to "feel her" I can only assume that she just wants you to see things from her point of view.

in your post, you said you were two different types. she is more emotion driven, and you are more analytical.

That's a mental label that you place on her, which is natural for us to do. We do it with everything. It's one of the things our brains do to keep us from overload.

But people can feel the mental labels we place on them. because having a belief about someone or something effects the way we interact with it.

Me being analytile myself find it easy when I'm dating someone very driven by emotions (which, lets be honest, is 90% of people in general, man or woman) to put them in that mental box of someone who can't sit down and look at things objectively.

Knowing this, my natural response is to fill in that gap by having all the answers. I want so desperately to be the man and save the day.

that mental label that I place on them keeps me from being able to approach her from any other angle than one of approaching someone who strays away from rationality on a regular basis.

If I don't consciously drop the label, I'll just hop back into the same pattern as I usually do with that specific person and try to fix all their problems. when all she really wants is a sound board.

Fundamentally she is a person.

And people have several fundamental wants. One of the biggest is feeling understood. Not psycho analysed but understood. She wants you to put yourself in her shoes and behind her eyes and share the picture she is seeing.

I'm not saying get wrapped up in her emotions, but once you have a strong picture of where she is coming from and how she's seeing the situation based on HER past experience, it becomes easy to approach from a place of understanding and compassion.

Despite some of the things people say on here, women do want emotional support just as much as they want a confident smart man.

On a side note:

I'm always wanting to just give people the answers but rarely are people looking to have someone come along and give them the rundown on reality.

I have spent a lot of time spinning my wheels trying to give advice where advice is not really wanted. Fortunately, I found a really good way to lead people to what I think would help them.

Asking questions.

high quality questions that is. "thinking is just a long series of asking and answering questions" So be the guy that instead of giving everyone fish, teaches them how to bate a hook themselves. they will feel stronger for having come the conclusion themselves, and you'll still be able to offer advice. Just in a more easily digestible way.

A book that I would highly recommend for this situation is called Leadership and Self Deception. Talks a lot about the mental labels we place on people and how it effects how we interact with them.

Hope this helped.

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http://fasttracksandlifehacks.com

Thanks for a very thoughtful answer.

About an year ago I really set a mission to myself to learn to understand women better rather than just trying to "pick them up".


I want to understand her better. Actually we know each other for a long time and actually we were just friends at some point. Now things are more intimate.

In fact things between us right now are going good. She says all those kind of things to me, however we are still dating, kissing (no sex yet - but I'm escalating toward it of course) and having a good time together.

So should I even pay attention to those... words. As long as she enjoys our time together this means that everything is OK... right?


But anyway I just want to get more advanced in understanding women and people overall.
So can you share sore more specific examples on how to put myself into her shoes ?

Thanks.

PS: fix you signature link, because its not working.

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

For sure man!

I'm glad you liked what I had to say! Total ego boots

I think it's awesome that you're looking to improve with understanding women, and not just learning a bunch of tricks to get them to do what you want haha.

Just like with anything in life, the more you know about that specific subject the more equipped you will be to handle anything that might come up.

As for more stuff on how to get inside her head, I would refer you to several books that I found to be very insightful and really made a difference in how I approach attraction and relationships in general.

Three that come to mind would be

Leadership and Self Decepton

how to win friends and influence people (it's kind of old, but full of great advice on general psychology and how to get people to respond positively to you)

And Unlimited Power, by Tony Robbins (this is more on how to run your brain and body to direct your emotions and be able to get into a powerful state anytime. powerful stuff)

As for a quick tip you can start using now, I'd say cut down the amount of small talk or fluff you have in your conversations.

Most people and myself included, get trapped in a never ending loop of small talk about this or that because it's low risk and comfortable.

Don't get me wrong, small talk is okay but most of us spend 99% of our time engaged in it when it will get you nowhere in regards to what you really want, which is to get to know who she is so you can see if she is the kind of girl you would like to introduce your privates to, or if you should friend zone her.

In a nutshell ask questions that have to do with who she is as a real life person.

Idk how well you know this girl, but I know I've had relationships that I spent years with this person and never really tried to get to know what's going on in your world.

Questions like "What do you love?" or "where do you see yourself in 5 years" is so much better than "what do you do for work?" or "where are you from?"

Given, the second ones can give you a glimpse of what they are about but if you want to get to really know someone, find out what makes their hearts sings, and the things that keep them up at night. Don't interrogate her, but dig to find out what motivates her, and what things in life she finds most important. If you can connect with them on those things, you will be heads above the majority of the community.

Being able to elicit information like that is powerful in every relationship you have. Because you can't love a fish right if you don't know it's a fish. If you know who she is, you'll be able to support her in her growth.

this is turning into a rant, but just remember that the main goal isn't to be able to stick it in, but to be able to build strong bonds with people. If you can connect, the sex will be a natural extension of that.

Another awesome book on expressing yourself openly and cutting smalltalk is called "Mode One", I can't remember the author's name but even though I disagree with a lot of his other views, I would say he does a great job of laying the idea of being direct down in an easy to follow way.

Hope this helped man! Let me know if you try this stuff out and what results you get and good luck brotha!

_________________
http://fasttracksandlifehacks.com

You asked me how the things went... well... it went all cool, until her phone rang while we were half naked.

Her best friend called her with some... "deep problems"... and then she told me the dreaded words "I gotta go"...

I didn't got angry but honestly I felt and still feel like very lame about it. And I feel all my energy and passion was just drown out of me in a split of a second. Actually I feel like somebody hit me in the balls.

Idk if you had been in similar situation, but I've never been and don't know what is best to do in such. I guess to play it as nothing happened would be OK.

_________________
"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Hey at least you got to see her naked! haha

I wouldn't stress about that man. Shit happens.

If she was really picking up what you were putting down (which is seams like she was if she was naked in your bed) then you'll have many more chances to get acquainted with her genitals.

Just keep that in mind. If you feel like everything needs to go perfectly or she is going to loose interest then you're going to communicate that with your actions.

If she isn't into it, her loss. but if she's diggin on you I would just keep in mind that you're both just people that do stupid shit sometimes and if you're willing to forgive her for the times when she is less than smooth then I'm sure she will be willing to let go too.

I would really recommend reading Mode One. and learning how to communicate your sexuality. also the way of the superior man I hear is supposed to be pretty stellar. I haven't read it yet but it's on the top of my list.

There is so much to game but I think it really comes down to working on yourself. Not learning a bunch of smooth lines but to get a firm understanding of who you are, what you stand for, and what your strengths and weaknesses are as a man and then learning to manage the weaknesses (because they are unlikely to become strengths) and magnifying your strengths.

A bird is a bird, and should never try to be a fish.

Be you, as best as you can and never stop trying to make yourself stronger.

But good for you for almost getting it in man! baby steps.

_________________
http://fasttracksandlifehacks.com

Yea I know I feel stupied because I put too much effort and attention in all of it. Since the time we were "just friends" and dating, I always put effort to think where to go and lead her smoothly. To the time she came home and I had to arrange everything - (dinner, candles, music etc.) So thats why I got that feeling of "I'm doing too much, but don't get what I deserved".

But you are very correct - if I continue think that way it will come across => not good.

So best way will be to play it as nothing happened and that she lost the good emotions she was about to experience. If I manage to communicate this to her she will be about to want for it right ?

I've read "The Way Of The Superior Man" but it was long time ago. Its a good one. Good remining me of it i'll have to review it.

Btw do you think dating other girls right now is a good choice. I actually don't want to do it, because if THIS girl finds out I know it will hurt our relationship, but if I get too much into her before sex, its like I sell myself short.

_________________
"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Wait wait wait...she answered a call while you were messing around? You sure you not getting played? Sounds rather convenient and even if the call was really something serious (I'm kinda thinking it wasn't) answering the phone was rude, especially while you were in the middle of something and had done all that.

Well no point telling this to me. It rang and she took it and was thinking: "Oh cool now she is gonna switch it of"
but no.. she picked it and you know the rest of the story.

Interesting part is up coming, now I just saw she is texting me on FB with some ambiguity stuff: "well what?"
(i didn't said anything). And I'm kind of having hard time to interpret it.

I know she wants to see me, but just her ego doesn't allows her to call straight on my phone.

_________________
"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

This is confusing... So you're messing around was she into it? I just don't get the weirdness here. Is there anything else going on? Other guys?

No dude, no other guys around. Its been 2 days since that night with the phone and now she FB messeges me with: "well what? "

Just that... I gues something ticks her, but can't get if she hints me to finish what we've started or she just wonders whats going in.

Do you get it ?

_________________
"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Dude you're frame is everything! It really doesn't matter so much if she likes you or not, you can't control that. But what you can control is what you communicate and we communicate from whatever frame of mind you are in.

Think of a time you felt on top of the world. You probably were not psychoanalyzing what everyone else was doing and thinking in relation to you. You probably did't care about what people thought about you. How did you act when you were in that killer state of mind?

Fuck if she likes you or not man. If you have a strong mental frame about the situation you're in, you will oooooz confidence and charisma. Just the same as if you were up in your head asking what everything means and desperately searching for a footing in the situation you'll communicate a lack of confidence and it will be obvious that you need or are looking for something from her.

Not attractive

IDK if you've ever seen californication, but it's awesome. The main guy is like the ideal pua all around bad ass. He does some pretty wild stuff that for most people would be too uncomfortable to bare because he does not care how other people view him. He just does what he feels like he should do in the moment and doesn't give one thought to how others might view him for it.

I'm not saying model him exactly. But if you can bring that same level of confidence in yourself and level of comfort with the fact that you like to get to know her private parts, then that will naturally be communicated through your conversation.


You know you like this girl. Doesn't really matter if she likes you at this point or not. If you communicate that attraction in a confident way she will be 23847983274 times more likely to dig on your vibe than if you second guessed every move for fear of being rejected.

Life sucks. You're going to get rejected from time to time. But be bold in being who you are and don't let the fear of what might happen distract from what you're heart is saying. Don't be afraid to make mistakes with this girl or any other because you'll learn from them. successful people fail more than most try.

Above all keep learning.

_________________
http://fasttracksandlifehacks.com

I have no idea what people are talking about here. The girl simply wants to feel that you are reciprocating her enthusiasm and affection. She feels like the love is one-sided. It's that simple. A lot of women want to feel like some sort of princess in the relationship, they want to feel like the man goes out of his way to seek them. Like they would say things like "My boyfriend never tells me I'm beautiful/he loves me" and based on that, they conclude that the man is not feeling them as much as they feel him. It's possible that she is even expecting to receive more than she gives to you, which is another thing in itself. All this other rambling is not helpful.