So, a few days ago I was on a date with a girl. We went to a restaurant that wasn't so fancy, but more like on the level of a cafe. We were there sitting across each other for about an hour and half having dinner and getting to know each and other by asking each other questions and talking about each of our opinions on various subjects. However, I didn't know and when escalate physically or act and sound more flirtatious around her. The only things I did pertaining to touching her was hugging before the date and then after the date giving her a hug again along trying to kiss her on the cheek--though she turn her head away when I tried kissing her. That was it. How do I flirt and kino without doing it randomly and especially when you are sitting across a girl at a table?

It's good to put yourself in a position to succeed. NBA players don't play with one hand tied behind their back and neither should you. So in this situation that means to do whatever it takes so that you are sitting next to the girl. You go kino in a classy manner and sound flirtatious around her the whole time. A date is no time for a job interview. The woman wants to feel wanted, she wants to feel excitement, she is not interested in the guy's sports achievements or the numbers he puts up at work and all of that. Keep the topics light; dating/relationships/clothing & fashion/relationship dynamics and other shit that girls love talking about.

Restaurants are the worst idea for a date for the very reasons you're giving. Not to mention that you probably paid the whole bill and made yourself beta in the process...

Don't tell me this was a date from online dating too? so basically this was the 1st meet? so technically not even a date till she wants to see you again for the 2nd time.

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100% agreed. Restaurants are the cat's motherfucking pajamas with a girl you're already having sex with. 99% of men have this backwards. Sex first, then the restaurant. But yeah in a 1st date scenario, if you're sitting, sit next to the girl.

Well, the restaurant was more like a cafe and the food really wasn't expensive. Also, she actually only had a coffee drink throughout the whole date because she wasn't really hungry.

But I get what you guys are saying, which is to always on the first date to sit or stand next to her on so that I can kino with her throughout the whole date. Also, am I supposed to flirt only when she gives Certain IOIs?

Also, I thought that it was a bad idea to bring up dating and relationships because otherwise you would be communicating to her like a "friend" or "buddy" who would talk about that kind of stuff with each other.

Do. Not. Take. Her. To. A. Restaurant. Same with cinemas.

In a date I usually look to do 2 things: being flirtatious/interesting/teasing and to kino escalate.

In a restaurant you'll probably have a table between the two of you so this means kino isn't possible. If you really want to take her somewhere like a restaurant take her somewhere else afterwards where you can do kino.

In a cinema you can do a little of kino but you can't talk (you paid to watch the movie, right?). This means that:
1) you'll never get her interested in you especially if it's your first real meeting
2) kino will just look and feel weird to her and to you.

You want a good date? Take her somewhere where you can have fun, where you can tease her and do kino. Iceskating is a great example. Even just chilling at the local park is good.


You should always be flirtatious. This spikes interest in the girls and they'll feel more attracted to you and this is what you want. If you are not used to this, try to start flirting with your female friends. They won't take it too seriously and if you do it well you might end up with them in bed. Naked. Having sex. Maybe even a threesome. Just flirt whenever you can will all the girls you can.


This is the point!! Do not talk about relationships/dating/sex with her like a friend would do!! You want to be her lover/bf, not her friend! Spike her interest! Get her to wonder what's in your pants and how she can get it!

It's not about the cost, it's about the venue. You most often sit across from eachother, the girl eats usually and then doesn't feel as sexy anymore but rather she feels full. Maybe she's tired and now wants to go home and go to sleep.
You waiting for her to lead will be a long wait. You're the male, therefore you lead. Women are mirrors. If she's into you she'll mirror that flirty vibe right back to you. If she's not into you I don't know why she's out with you but calibrate yourself so you're not putting the moves on a disinterested girl.
Women fucking love talking about relationship dynamics more than anything else.

It gets her investing in you and doing most of the talking, which is what you want.

It keeps her interest which is what you want.

You do not speak to her in a "friend" manner. She knows what's up. By you being comfortable about talking about dating, relationship dynamics between couples etc. it shows a LOT of security and confidence in yourself. It's important to have a confident frame though to talk about these matters.

If she starts talking about some guy she thought was hot that she met one time, you go 100% along right with it, it presents yourself as a challenge and as a secure male. If you show 1 drip of jealousy or butthurtness you're fucked.

Most importantly, when you talk about dating/relationships it sets the right tone for the "relationship" and the evening between the two of you. You're not overtly talking about sex, but you're in the same "lane" as sex. When you talk about hobbies, work or the girl's hobbies, work etc. these are non-sexual topics that do nothing to spike the sexual interest of the girl in you.
This.

I like to start out with drinks at a bar. Ive got a couple I know, and I usually try to set up the date around Happy Hour, cause I don't want to spend alot of money, if the date is a bust. But I'm starting to think that having drinks is still not too great. Way better than a restaurant for sure, especially cause you can always leave after the first drink. But naturally escalating if you haven't previously is really hard in this enviroment. It's always gonna be awkward and quite transparant. It's far easier if you're on the move. You can always notch her in a direction, grab her shoulder to show her something etc.

If you met her online, or don't really know her, I'd still start out with drinks, to build some trust before you drag her in a park in the middle of the night, but personally I wouldn't spend the whole night there.

Btw. I really like the ice skating suggestion. Great tip now that we are heading into the season.

where do you usually escalate after the bar? since its happy hour i'm assuming the night will still be quite young

When to do Kino on first date?

Early and often in my opinion. Hand on small of back when walking into a place, light brushes on arm, or touch of hand on leg during conversation. Nothing threatening, but a little bit to let her know you are interested/interesting sexually. From there it is a little more circumstantial with escalation

As for first dates, echoing what many have said in here, but avoid the restaurants. I like to develop a little bit of a plan before, but something that involves a drink, and then bounce to an activity- comedy, ice skating, touring a neighborhood, bookstore, bowling, you name it. Something where you can flirt, move around, and show some personality

Hope this helps