Your example is a text book example of a borring, interview-type conversation. You will ALWAYS get
a girl to end a conversation with you, and probably won't feel like talking to you anymore, simply because
you've BORED her brains out.
There is a very cool technique that I use to make conversations interesting and not sound like I'm interviewing
a girl.
I call it FREE-FLOW.
I came up with this technique after
reverse-engineering the conversations of guys that I found to be
naturals with women.
There was something very
different in how these naturals were talking with a girl then how an average
guy was talking with a girl.
While the
average guy would be asking a girl question after question after question, the naturals did
something
DISTINCTIVELY different.
While they too asked questions,
they threw in something else - a COMMENT.
So their conversation had a flow of asking QUESTIONS...and making COMMENTS.
And it had a special structure of asking 2 QUESTIONS...and then making 1 COMMENT.
So
the conversation had a PULSE, it was alive, it wasn't monotone. It was
"I ask, I tell, I ask, I tell..."
And not in your case
"I ask, I ask, I ask..."
So naturals have a conversation that goes up and down, it has a beat...
Yours unfortunately doesn't have that.
Your conversations are...well, DEAD.
So here's what you could have done instead.
Me: (I walked up to her calmly)
Her: (As soon as she notices me she takes her headphones off and smiles) Hey.
Me: Hey, how's it going? (Saying it with a half-smile).
(1st QUESTION)
Her: Good. How about you?
Me: Good. Hey, you know I think I've seen you at least few times in this gym. What's
Your name? (I extended my right hand toward her for a handshake as I half-smile again).
(2nd QUESTION)
Her: I am (her name).
There is a pause in the conversation for a sec. (But I just kept my eye contact on her without making a nervous laughter).
Now, instead of waiting for the pause to pass, you could have added a COMMENT based on what
she said.
So if she had an interesting name, commenting on her name. So saying something like,
"O, that's a beautiful name...it sounds so innocent, it doesn't fit with your kind of evil adventourous
look you have in your eyes when you look at me..."
Get it?
But OK, let's continue and see how else you could have continued the conversation.
Her: What's your name?
Me: I am (my name). So, do you workout here often?
(1st QUESTION)
Her: Yeah, like about 4 times a week.
Me: Ah, that's good.
Now, again, instead of saying "Ah, that's good", you could have make a COMMENT that actually connected
to what she just said.
Now, the trick to making comments like this is to PAY ATTENTION to yoruself and notice what is the
FIRST thing that comes to your mind when she says something.
To me, the first thing that pops to my mind is that if she works out 4 times a week, she's really
commited to it...and probably has an amazing body.
So you could say, "Wow 4 times a week? That's a lot. You're really commited to this...and honestly the
results can show
I can only do it like a few times a week because of work..."
With this, she would ask you about what you do and you'd have a great conversation starter.
Get it?
So it's about ASKING her QUESTIONS, but then again in making COMMENTS that are RELEVANT to
the stuff she is saying.
If you'd like to learn more about this,
you can either check out my book, where I explain this technique
in depth,
or contact me on pm and I'll walk you through it personally.
O and by the way, if you have challenges with approaching women because
of approach anxiety,
I'd like to invite you and anyone reading this to a special test group
where I'm
testing a new Approach Anxiety Cure, that eliminates your Anxiety of approaching a woman
in under 90min.
Details in my signature.
All in all, I hope you use the Free-Flow technique and don't get yourself into boring conversations again.
Wish you best!
_________________
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