Ok we have been broken up for over a year and she is in a relationship for the past 5 months. Yesterday I recieved an email from her asking me If I could help her out. This is outside child support. I pay child support every month and never behind on payments.

This is the first time since the break up that she has done this.


I answerd her " would your boyfriend mind that I help you out? " she has not responded yet.


I don't know of this is just another breadcrumb or an ego strok because with her Job and the child support she makes a decent income.

I don't know if I should give her money or not. I would like to get back with her but I am aware that if you give a woman money she will not respect you and would most likely not get back with you.

Also I repleyed in a way that was very sarcastic as she knows that I don't lend money to anyone unless she is my current live in girl friend.

PUA aside. I'm not sure what the best way for you to treat this situation would be. Do you have visitation and all that crap? Because if you fuck with her head too much she could become a real bitch to you.

If this was just some chick you've banged a couple of times I'd say you were doing good. But with the mother of your two kids, I'm not sure. I think it would depend on what she's asking for. You could even set up stipulations like she has to sit down with you and tell you where this money is going. Just play it off as like you want to know that while she has custody of your children you want to know she knows how to handle money enough to where the kids aren't going to suffer.

I think as long as you don't just oblige every time she asks for anything and as long as you make her understand that you take this shit seriously, it could be ok.

Tough spot dude. Wish you luck.

That is a bit of a tough one.

Did she mention what the money was for? If it's legitimately for the kids, and you know that to be true ----- and you have the money ----- then I think you can really mentally get behind that one, personally.

But if it's like, for her, or the house or whatever, yeah, I don't know.

Does she legitimately have a boyfriend? Why wouldn't he help her, if it's for something that doesn't involve the kids?

It's for her ego. Child support is payed and she didnt mention anytiing about the kids. She wants to know if I still will jump hoops for her.

I just want to know how a pua would handle it.

And if there is anyway that I could benifet from this. Once again this is not about the kids and she is breaking contact with me since almost 2 months.

Ya, but does she actually have a boyfriend? And how serious is it?

If you want to get back with her, don't pay. No need to worry what the other guy thinks. Why even mention him?

Remember she's the one who wants something from you. Make her work for it. She needs to earn it. For all you know, she might want the money to buy her new guy a birthday present.

Generally speaking, you need to treat your girl well when you are with her, but ignore her and let her chase when you're not with her.

I think you know how to handle it dude. If she broke contact for 2 months. you should have ignored her email and just not replied. Anything to do with the kids should go through lawyers and dont talk to her in person or give her any money.

If you see the kids and they need new clothes etc or want the latest toy get them it be the dotting father.
Just dont take anything to do with her mate. I dont think this is down the PUA's or anything just down to being a man.

_________________
You can fail all your life but still achieve more than those who did not try.

And that is why I'm asking about the boyfriend...

She has a boyfriend. Just by me asking her if her boyfriend minded she knows I am being sarcastic. I am 100% sure she is testing me.


My gut feeling is telling me exactly what hunter says. I don't know why but I feel that if I just give her money it's the best way to never get back with her.

She emailed me just know saying where do we meet and I answered " give me a call and I will tell you where we could meet "

I have not heard her voice in over 6 months, we always communicate thru email and its only for the kids.

I want to make her work for it.

This is probably the only person on earth that I could not talk my way with.

Do i

A. say yes and never show up?

B. Just say flat out, no!!! ???

C. Meet her up give her the money and make a move?

D. Just ignore her.


I want to provoke her into working for it.

None of the above.

Invite her over but don't give her the money. Get her to justify why she needs the money. No matter what bullshit reason she gives you, say that it's been so long since you saw her that you don't trust her anymore. Look her straight in the eyes and tell her that that trust "needs to be re-built" before you would even consider helping her out financially. Then sit closer to her and let her seduce you. Seduce her if she is scared to make a move. Get your dick out, she will know what to do with it if she wants your cash. Then after you've fucked her brains out and made her cum, you still don't give her any money. Tell her something along the lines of "I can't support a woman unless I'm in a relationship with her" then be silent and let that sink in. DO NOT mention the other guy. If she brings him up, just be firm and say "This is about us and our family. Nobody else". Let her cry if necessary and do not comfort her (high emotions are good).

Basically you need to project a more masculine image. Ignore what she wants. She dumped you, remember? You owe her nothing. She should be the one on her knees begging for you to come back. Never forget that.

If you want to get back with her, she needs to earn your trust and a new relationship would need to be on your terms, not hers. You're not the same old loser she left 6 months ago. You're a successful player with a successful business. If she wants in on the action, she has to give you what you want.

Women want what they can't have. If you carry on being so easy and accommodating, you are not providing her with a challenge. Train her to understand that no relationship = no money.

And if she doesn't accept your terms, show her the door and walk away. Just because she's your kid's mother, doesn't mean she is untouchable. She is still just a girl. She will probably test your frame, but you need to make it clear that you will walk away if she is not prepared to meet your terms. Be strong. She may be angry with you at first, but if you stay strong, she may go home sleep on it, then contact you a few days later. Don't contact her first. Let her chase.

Damn I wish I read your post earlier.

She called me in from a blocked number and asked me where we can meet up so I can give her the money. I said "let's meet up at Anthony's pizza tonight because I need to talk to you before anything" she said that she couldn't tonight and that it had to be now!!! That's when I said " we'll then if you can't tonight well I am sorry maybe some other day." That's when she started having a fit saying " oh you see you don't want to help me out you always make excuses" that's when I blow off and said " look I am not with you anymore so why don't you ask your boyfriend to help you out??? And she said well he is always helping me out and how wonderful he is, all that bullshit"

I really had a bad day because if this shit. I don't know if I did the right thing by telling her no like that over the phone. Is there a way I can recover from this?? Maybe bait her into thinking I will give her money then don't?

I will bait and switch her if I have too, and make her think I will give her money, at this point I could care less if she thinks I am an asshole, my ethics and morality fly out the door when someone tries to take me as a fool.

Wtf is this thread. If you want to get back with her after a year:

1. You shouldn't want to get back with her. If you're still hung up on her, something is wrong. She's moved on, you should too.

2. Giving money or spending money is not the way. If she's moved on, money isn't going to make her have feelings for you again, nor is playing games. If you want to use money to have sex, might as well go with a pro. I don't know if having sex with someone because they are desperate for money gets you hard...I couldn't do it.

The problem I see here is that she's moved on and you haven't. Fix that. Don't play games with your baby mama with kids involved. If she would dump her bf to get some money you shouldn't want her. Move on from this chick.

Man, separate things here.

1. Your relationship with her (I won't even start raging about how you still want her back after one year). Either way, this should be treated as an entirely different matter and not matter at all when it comes to deciding whether it comes to handing her that money or not.

2. Your kids

If you give her money it is for point 2, the kids that you fathered. Period. And that is implying you care about their well being altogether. If not, you have already paid what you had to. Either way, it seems to be that she is either doing something wrong with her finances or trying to scam you out of your money. From the point she asks you for money for your kids, she loses her right to privacy and not to be questioned. Don't be afraid to get personal, ask her what exactly she is spending her money on and to find out what and when that money will be spent on. Make her uncomfortable if you must. Positive side effect: She will know that you are not jumping through one of her hoops, but doing it for the kids. Also if this happens again, I say you should not do it at all or, in any case, do it as a loan.

Also, what the fuck is this shit about "would your boyfriend mind"? It's your kids and she is asking you for money, so fuck that guy. Dude can't even provide.

Edit: About that situation you had with her either on... Remind her that she wants the money from you, not the other way around. And thus, you are going to meet on YOUR terms. Frankly, I can't imagine a situation where anyone could be more in control, yet you are letting her push you around. I don't mean to be a smartass, but this is not exactly the manly and desirable kind of attitude that will her want to come running back to you.

_________________
404 game not found

Holy shit. Based on that phone conversation she sounds like the biggest money-grabbing bitch ever. You didn't screw up, you did the right thing.

Your self esteem must be unbelievably low if you want to get back with such a conniving little bitch. You dodged a bullet breaking up with this woman. Mark my words, she is bad news.

Move on. Time heals. They are good women out there who are not interested in your wallet. And you won't find them by popping bottles in the VIP. You need to stop just meeting women in nightclubs and learn how to charm women sober during the day.

You pay your payments, she has custody, and she has a new boyfriend that she is currently living with. Do NOT jump at this so quickly.

Now I don't think sarcasm is the answer; it came across as immature, cheap and unattractive. However, I think a real genuine, affirmative response is all that is necessary. You want to display a "moving on" yet responsible demeanor when dealing with her attempts to contact you if you have any hopes of her coming back running.

My response: " What is it for? Last time I checked you have a decent income and I am on time and full with my payments. "

Then.. depending on what she says..

" And your boyfriend can't help you out? Whats he doing? "

Now depending on what it is for you can make that decision. But if it is at all derived from pleasure do NOT give her anymore money. And/or if it has anything to do with the child, you can buy the item with your own money. But do NOT give her any cash brian. Seriously.

And stop trying to fake it man.. Women are INTUITIVE. STOP FAKING.

PM me bro, before it gets sticky.

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com