| Within societies current paradigm of sexual interaction, masculinity is, well, struggling. This has resulted in both good, and bad in terms of self development.
The good side;
There are many honest, courageous and spiritually aware men sharing vital information with their fellow man, in order to re-align 21st century masculinity.
Reconnecting their brothers to the core of what it truly means to be a solid, present, authentic, and charismatically charming rogue of a man, with his purpose and nutsack intact.
Here the strive for focused, refined, suave, and dapper gentlemanly greatness is encouraged, with the path clearly marked out by men who have struggled through to reach and play in this effortlessly abundant area of being. Passed down if you will.
THIS is fucking awesome.
But, such is nature, there is a Yin to every Yang . Enter:
The bad side…
Here, men who have through no fault of their own followed others down a road of disassociation with their masculine selves. Living from a space of unworthiness, self loathing and neediness. These unfulfilled internal expressions are strangled and perpetuated even more by the ‘material’ which this school of men have chosen to commit themselves to and teach one another. I know, because I was a part of this school not so long ago.
These are the groups who define women as numbers, interactions as ‘sets’, being sexually social as ‘sarging’, and a whole load of other terms used simply to detach from the process of true connection with a woman, and thus from themselves as natural instinctual sexual beings.
In essence, making it far more complicated for them to achieve what all of us are striving for.
All these techniques guys feel they NEED to learn in order to trick a woman into bed is only fuelling their internal image of themselves that states ‘I am not enough, I am not worthy’.
If you have browsed around many of the PUA websites, you will of course know that there are many different areas or ‘modules’ in order to seduce a woman according to the ‘I am not worthy’ way of practice.
Incredibly large books, audio packages and video courses have been created solely on each individual area of the seductive process, everything from approach openers about homosexual cats, escalation, to entire books on ‘text game’, right up to how to win back your Ex…why the fuck? You guys broke up clearly for a reason, anyway, I digress.
I am going to deal with one topic that is HUGELY discussed and written about in an incredibly un-beneficial way by many ‘gurus’ out there, that is the concept of comfort.
Building Comfort
Anyone who knows me personally can attest to the fact that I am a generally very laid back, introverted and indifferent kind of man, which is clearly evident in my way of interacting with women and life. I put this down to spiritual evolution and internal understanding through long periods of meditation, which continues.
BUT!!! When I see a new marketing campaign from a dating company advertising products on building comfort, I celebrate the ridiculousness of such a retarded and unaware message, by giving myself full permission to lose my shit in a celebratory kind of fashion. I facepalm myself heavily until bruises begin to form.
I can only speak from my own personal experience of being really shit with women; aka confused with who I was, to going through the personal growth and getting consistently successful with women. My own experience is all I can ever speak from, and in my experience, the concept of ‘building comfort’ is completely contradicting the essence of true comfort.
Yin & Yang
As men and women, our species interact as complete opposites in our purest forms of energetic states. That is to say, when a man is purely in his masculine, and the women purely in her feminine.
This is polarization, and is the foundation of sexual attraction, tension, emotional connection and spiritual recognition between the sexes which manifest as love, sexual desire, and that deep ache in our loins that tells you ‘its on’. Having a new Porsche never beats this...
With that in mind, the ‘+ ‘of a man inherently effects the ‘ – ‘of a woman. Emotional states of being are sub-communicated immediately upon interaction, and sometimes before each other even walks into a room.
Back to Basics
Let’s look at the concept of building comfort again. This, is really the long way around. Building it is unnecessary, and as I related to before, it is completely obsolete and contradictory.
Comfort, is comfort. It’s an emotional state which effects you mentally and physically and is then projected out into the world.
If you approach a woman and you are in a state of analytical nervousness, you are currently building nervousness within the interaction. She will feel this nervous awkward guy projecting this feelings of weirdness on her, which she will not like, as she begins to then feel your weirdness herself, in most cases wanting to get the fuck away from the interaction, i.e. ‘rejecting’ you. It never really matters what you are actually saying, it’s all vibe.
In my opinion, this is one of the biggest issues guys have with getting consistent results approaching women. Would you blame her? How would you like it if some girl approached you acting all shifty and odd, yes, most likely, not fucking comfortable and looking for release from that feeling of discomfort, in flight mode. You would have this innate feeling that ‘something is up here, something isn’t quite right, im not sure what it is, but i dont like how its making me feel and i must get away from it’
Shifting Focus
Guys are made to focus so much on fixing their ‘approach anxiety’ which isn’t even a real fucking thing. I’m afraid you have all been duped into thinking you have this problem.
This ‘problem’ you have, gets all of your focus as you prepare to begin an interaction with this girl(along with all the shit you have been told you must remember to say or do) in an incredibly uptight and anxious way; creeping her the fuck out, and feeling like she is trying to be convinced to buy something.
Now, let’s look at this differently.
Evolved Comfort
You wake up in the morning and you do your usual 20 minutes of mindfulness meditation before leaving your house. You walk out the door chilled out and emotionally indifferent, sitting in a space of content wellbeing.
You see an attractive girl, so you decide to walk over and share your calm and grounded charisma with her. There is no line or opener in your head, just your appreciation for her.
With the internal knowing that you actually have nothing you must do or say to impress her, and with your trust that you have a penis, she has a vagina, and that people having be having sex for thousands and thousands of years, you give it up, let go, and slowly make your way up to her, lock eyes, and say ‘hello….how are you….the way you walk….stunning.’ Delivered in a calm, grounded and chilled out way. (please do not make note of that ‘opener’)
You are not there to take her pussy. You are not there to convince her of anything. Instead you have decided to share your gift with this very lucky woman, expecting nothing in return.
How do you feel? Comfortable of course, with all the above beliefs how could you not? and it is expressed through every morsel of you.
How does she feel? COMFORTABLE, because really, as long as she chooses to be in your presence, she has no choice.
Gentlemen of the world, please take note….
YOU DO NOT BUILD COMFORT…YOU BRING COMFORT WITH YOU.
YOU DO NOT BUILD COMFORT…YOU BRING COMFORT WITH YOU.
YOU DO NOT BUILD COMFORT…YOU BRING COMFORT WITH YOU.
YOU DO NOT BUILD COMFORT…YOU BRING COMFORT WITH YOU.
Having to build something states quite matter of factly that it’s not there in the first place. Why you ask? Do not look to the woman for the answers ever, you are the question, answer and the solution every time! Look first to your internal thoughts, actions and reactions.
The Importance
I have chose to write about comfort today because I feel it is one of the most important aspects to consistent seductive success with women. No woman is going to go to bed with a man she does not feel comfortable around.
When you have the ability to infect women with your own oozing self comfort for the socially odd aspects of you interacting with her, you will allow her to follow you into sexual scenarios that the un-evolved man would never in a million years achieve. It gives her permission to follow you. It lets her know that you can handle what is, and whats about to happen.
This is one of the biggest differences between waiting 5 dates before sex, and approaching the same girl in the supermarket, and 20 minutes later having her bent over, pleading to be spanked harder in her apartment which was just around the corner.
Your reality is dictated by what you feel you deserve. When you are unattached and indifferent to the present moment, a deep comfort is expressed, a letting go, a giving it up to the ebb and flow of human sexual desire. Allowing your instinct and intuition to take the drivers seat and trusting it.
Giving the woman trust in you, and a willingness to receive all which you desire to offer her.
So, start, by learning to be internally comfortable whichever way the wind blows. Learn to be indifferent.
Meditate.
It will change how you relate with every aspect of your life!
|
CHAT
keep me updated on you success.
