| So I have a bit of a conundrum tomorrow evening, but before I get to the issue, it requires a super short backstory to make sense, so apologies in advance for the slightly lengthy post!
(I'm from Denmark, and this is in Denmark!)
A few days ago, a friend said he was meeting up with a few Japanese people, and invited me out. I was happy to go, since I've lived in Japan before, and need to keep up my Japanese for future work possibilities.
Pretty big group of Danish guys and various Japanese people, close to 50/50. Sadly, as you could expect, a ton of them were incredibly nerdy, and socially awkward (the Danish guys), and I had my fair share of alcohol that evening to keep my sanity.
My friend who invited me is also quite the nerdy guy, but I can deal with him, he's "OK". I've learned to handle him (that sounds better than "dominate" him, which sadly sometimes just happens, since I just can't keep my mouth shut sometimes, if he goes on a rant about cosplay and video game stores in Tokyo or the like).
There was however one relatively normal Japanese girl, a PhD student. Pretty cute too. We talked, it was good, we exchanged some contact info for Facebook. There's a party tomorrow, so I got her to add me, so she could throw me an invite. It's her last night in Denmark before going home to Japan in the morning.
I left the group early, before killing myself, or getting too drunk.
After I left, everyone else apparently joined the bandwagon, and now a ton of them are going to the party tomorrow. (even as I left, I could see some of the guys getting their phones and such out, as in "Oh, he got your info, surely everyone can get it then!")
This is my problem:
How in the world do I handle this group of socially awkward super-nerds?
I'm afraid that if I'm just chill with them, I'll be seen as one of the nerd-herd. If I'm a normal alpha, I'll be seen as rude to everyone else (since everyone else is so beta it hurts).
I've already had to avoid one pitfall on their end (not PUA wise, just... not being a Wapanese/Otaku/Weaboo/Impolite idiot), as they planned to take her to a random (fairly crappy) Japanese food chain for her last night in Denmark (which was clearly for the Danish guys benefits, as they wanted to go eat Japanese food with a Japanese chick, to get their "Japan-fix"), where I quickly managed to convince my mate to actually take her out to a Danish place to eat, for her last night in the country.
So... yeah? Thoughts? Suggestions? Handling the nerd-herd without being too rude/out-of-place-domineering, but at the same time not falling into the trap of being thought of as one of them?
Sure, I could do the same I did the first night. But that kind of stuff quickly either turns into something that sounds like bragging (I have a fairly interesting job in a major marketing firm), or into being "that drunk party guy" for going "lets get some shots, huh guys?" too often. So I just don't see that as long-term strategy that could last a night.
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