Hey everyone, new to the forum but I've messed with online dating here and there in the past. This time around, I've been taking it more seriously and learned a lot thus far. I used to be like most, with almost no traffic on the online scene but after reading what people have had to say, I really feel like im getting over one bridge at a time. Once I reworded my profile and really put some effort into the pictures and started hitting the gym, I've seen drastic improvements. Unfortunately I still have a long ways to go to be satisfied.

Current status: Using Tinder and OKC. On both, I'm getting a lot of "likes" and matches. And when I first open the conversation, a decent amount respond back. I'd say around 20-40%. Maybe this is low considering if we matched she at least thought I was somewhat attractive. From there we can usually go back and forth a bit, but I can get this feeling shes not that interested/invested. After a day or two of this mild back and forth, I'll usually ask for the meet up since I kind of dont know what else to do at this point. Some girls dont respond, some give and excuse and keep talking.

This is where I need help, keeping the conversation going and transitioning into the first date. In my experience, the 1st date has led to great results, I just need help getting there.

Here's a perfect example from last night. OKC cutie, we "liked" each other on the quick match and she was online so I went for it. I think you can see it start off ok, then taper off, then die out.


Me: Hey I hope your not at work out studying right now [this is what she says she does on Friday nights]

Her: No I'm not doing either at the moment

me: Lol good, well I guess it's not really Friday night so that makes sense

me: So what are you up to at this hour if you don't mind me asking.

her: Yeah or else I'll be taking shots. I just can't sleep which is bad because I have work in the morning.

her: You're bio is hilarious.

her: Your.

me: I was trying to be as serious as possible

me: Pour out my inner self lol jk. Thanks for the compliment

her: Aww. Well I did read that you do marketing and logistics. I do the same for Old Navy. [I didnt see these two messages i think bc the app glitched, this may have been my downfall because I later ask where she worked]

her: You're welcome!

me: And aren't you supposed to be enjoying the holiday weekend? Why would they make you work in the morning?

her: Their ass holes. I work on Labor Day the Monday everyone is supposed to be off.

her: They're *

me: Oh true, I suppose retail can be a pain like that. My sister in law deals with the same bs. So where do you work at?

her: Old Navy! Lol

me: Lol nice so does this mean if I go shop there you can hook me up?

her: Basically. Not at my store but at another ON, and I get 50% off at Gap and Banana Republic

me: Sweet! I guess I'll have to keep you around then. Suppose I got be on my best behavior

her: That's the only reason I still have friends. Lol jk

me: Hahaha it appears were both hilarious

me: So would you be down to grab coffee or a quick bite one of these days after work? My treat since you're gonna be getting me discounts and what not

[45 mins later...]

me: Alright well I'll let you think about that. I'm headed to bed, good night [after an episode of the cosmos]

ugh the act of learning is often painful, but always worth it.

Eh it was going good but you'll get that here and there, really what I do is build enough attraction as possible within 10 messages and get off the site as soon as possible, online convos tend to get boring. I wouldn't have said you took your profile too serious, I get what you were trying to do put between that message and the one where you said that you better be on your best behavior, you shot yourself in the foot, those two put her above you when I would've said "hmm even more of a reason to get to know you" or "keep you around, that's only if you can help me match outfits though!" You see the difference? They have to impress you not the other way around. It's not done, you can hit her up again today, she did she she had to work but I would switch things up on that aspect. Everything else looks alright though.

Oh and I'm gonna let you know, your match % means jack shht on okc, it's a waste of time and in all actuality does more harm than good. Girls aren't gonna pay attention to it from an attraction standpoint, and they may not like what they see because you wouldn't be able to match everyone. The questions are things that can be talked about while you guys are gettin to know eachother.

Thanks for the insight. I'll have to try to build all this into my next go around. Your post brings up another interesting topic though.

Does anyone have any good restart lines? I'm saying something that can maybe bring back a conversation from near death. Obviously if its too far gone, nothings going to work. I'm looking for something to help with conversations that died out for a day or two, or if you go for the date and they politely say no, but there might still be a chance etc. I've got some conversations in this category at the moment.

I realize the a good way to handle it is just to move on, but if theres a line or theory on how to bring these convos back, even its just 5% of the time, that'd be a great way to boost my online efficiency.

Thanks all,

If you still want a 2nd try, just talk to her like you never asked her for a coffee/treat. Ask some random question or ask how its going. I usualy manage to revive a chat with that where i invited someone for a drink or asked for a number. And then just talking on like it never happend, girls do this allot aswel. Sometimes a girls says something wierd, she doesnt respond for 2-3 days and then starts talking again like nothing ever happend.

She obviously wanted the confirmation sign.
Like in jail, one more line drawn on the wall
One more guy asking her out.
If she thought you are HV to her she would ask you long before.
Harsh reality...

I've had some success with the following after a failed 1st attempt:

I tried this before and it didn't work out, but why not try again...right? I mean, you are the hottest girl in a 20mile radius. There are others within 21mile, but thats outside my range. So ....(....being kinda where I left off last time).

Not bad...
Nice ideas evolving....