Hi guys I probably already screwed this up but I want to see what you guys think.

Basically met this girl on facebook I am 33 she is 28. we started talking and hit it off texting and phone conversation for about 1 month so decided to go out. she lives 2 hrs drive away but said fuck it its worth a shot. she is a model and really good looking.

As I got closer to her she was texting how nervous she was so I tried to comfort her and finally we met and were both very attracted to each other and I got really comfortable almost like I knew here from a past life or something weird like that lol. We had an amazing little picknic date on the beach then wave got so close it got all our towels wet so we couldn't dry off. she lives with roomates so we couldn't go to her place to dry out and my place is 2 hrs drive away which she agreed to go suprizingly, her interest was crazy high even before we met cause from what she described I was basically everything she wants in a guy. so I suggested best idea is to get a motel so we dry off and said we don't have to do anything she doesn't want to do but we really need to dry off if nothing else. but we talked about just going with the flow and not being judgmental if we do happen to have sex on first date etc so we said fuck it lets go.

so I suggested we strip down and take a shower together which made her really nervous and she was kind of fighting it or playing hard to get. finally we did and then we talked a lot and then I said fuck it Im just gonna pounce on her and go with it. we had amazing sex 3 times pretty much stayed up all night having sex and talking in between lol. she complimented me like crazy and lost count of how many orgasms I gave her but she was counting somehow and was very suprized how many she got and said 2 were simultaneous orgasms we had which im sure you guys know is rare and usually happens to couples that have been together for yrs.

I noticed she was crazy about me and I felt the same but she seemed really insecure and even before we met she thought I was always with girls and its so easy for me to get girls etc so I tried my best to make her feel comfortable and asked if it would make her feel better if we made a deal to basically not see anyone else and give us a go and see what happens. she seemed really happy so we decided to not see anyone else and we both said we want to see eachother again.

now here is where the problems started atleast it seemed like no problem till recently and its been 3 weeks now I haven't seen her but we been pretty much texting/talking everyday. at first it was a lot more text/calls but little by little I noticed her pulling away so figured she prolly thinks I am already with other girls etc so and since I really have crazy feelings for her this fast too I decided to say fuck it and let her know how I feel about her so she feels comfortable. so apparently she was having family problems on her end and I work a lot so some weeks I could only see her 1 day if it worked for both of us. basically I didn't say I love her but I told her I care a lot about her and both of us felt like chemistry and our compatibility was crazy. and everything I said she said she felt the same way.

oh a few days after we had sex she texted me saying she still feels me inside her and felt/smells me on her still and said she just wanted me to know that. Told her I feel the same and cant stop thinking about her etc.so everything seemed great but I started getting annoyed that she telling me all this shit about how she cares about me etc but she started drifting away little by little and her excuse was family problems and said lets wait a week for things to cool down and always talked excited about seeing eachother again.

So at some points I got mad and felt like how can she feel the same but now is going like 1-2 days without texting me or calling, recently she said like 10 times she would call me and hasn't like wtf is that shit. so I tried calling her but since she didn't pick up I texted saying basically look we said we were going to be honest so if you have changed your mind about me just say it and I wont text/call you anymore. she texted me back fast saying she has no idea what will make me think like that and she feels same about me just is having family problems which she has a hard time opening up and telling me and just wants me not to not worry about it and that she can handle it. so I been trying to be their for her as much as I can but I guess recently she is really changing her mind cause she is getting way to distant and even answering texts 6hrs + later when it used to be instant or tops 30 min later. so I texted her saying ( did I scare you away ? lol. ) and she said a little and that too much pressure scares her and pushes her away. she said she just needs me to be understanding and patient. so I tried to explain to her I only did everything to make her understand I am not like other guys that I am serious about her and that I thought that's what she wanted.

last long text I sent her I got really mad and basically told her I don't understand how I am being negative ? because I am being so caring and want to be their for you etc ? and as far as pushy... its pushy to want to see a girl I care about that I haven't seen now for 3 weeks ? told her because of how shes acting now I don't even know what to say or feel.

last text I was really pissed so I said basically you know what if you are willing to risk losing me because of fear,dram,etc than maybe I was wrong about you. I said I have no regrets cause I opened myself to her and did everything to make her understand this is for real and I really do care about her. And that life is drama and relationships are work and that i feel i put in way to much work already. so told her if she really cares about me and wants to get to know me that its her turn to put in work. told her i want a girl that's going to be there for me especially in bad times and fight for me and that i don't want a girl that is going to run for the door soon as things get hard/complicated. I told her so if and when that amazing girl i care about comes back to have her call me.

sorry guys I know its too much writing and I did get to obsessed with this girl and seems like its over but would still like to see what you guys think and if their is a way to fix it. I am thinking for now to stop texting/calling her for a week and see what she does. incase we decide to give it a go again i will really try to take it slow. thx.


ps. Oh recently she hurt her legs from a crazy workout she did and said she cant even walk so I was trying to be their for her even more and texting calling to see how she is etc and what I can do to help and I wanted to drive over there and see how she is but she kept pushing me away and says that's how she is that when she is in pain she pushes close or special people away so they don't worry about her.

This girl clearly had some issues before you met her, by the way you described it. You're problem is that you are getting way too emotional with her in order to try to calm her down. I mean look at your own words: All of that is so wrong in your communication with her. It's probably one of the neediest communication with a woman that I've ever seen. Even if that's how you feel, you come off as a victim and the person in the relationship (with a girl that you absolutely don't know) that has the lower value in the couple.

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thx brother for taking the time to help. I understand and I know you are right, its not what I meant to do and I know it looks like I am needy or whatever now but I really am not I am very picky with girls but in 33 yrs this girl with one day and night we spent together I feel more chemistry and compatibility then I have ever felt and she supposably felt the same so all I tried to do was to make her feel good.

Yea I couldn't believe how much she opened up to me on first date so I agree she has had problems in the past, she told me her first boyfriend raped her, she had a 6 year serious relationship which the guy cheated on her. guys she was with had the I don't care attitude and treated her like shit. so what do I do now ? let her go ?

You can't even see what a clingy annoying drama queen you are. Oh wow so she didn't call/text you for 2 days, that means she hates you...are you even for real? You called her TEN TIMES...you aren't even ashamed to say that. She's acting manlier than you are. Gosh you must be annoying, wake up and recognize it already.

There are these types of women out there that are so used to dealing with guys that are actually bad for them, which is much different than the typical bad boy. They dream of the good guy who is going to come along and save her from everything, but when they get that they don't know how to deal with it. So here you are giving her what she wants but she doesn't know how to react to it. The thing is she has already explained to you that she likes guys that treat her like shit. You have to ease her into your personality type so she can learn how to appreciate it over time. When she gives you her emotions, just acknowledge them. If you want to talk to her, text her to call you. If you are feeling insecure about things, don't let her know. As she gets more comfortable giving herself to you, you can start doing nicer things. But you can only do that once she gets passed her insecurities.

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What does one have to do with the other?

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What would James Bond do?

Thx bro you are right, I just did way too much to early I can see all my fuck ups now. forgot to say 1 thing when she was having this family problems... she lives with room mates which she had problems with so mention she was thinking about saying fuck everything here and move back to her home town. That's where I panicked and fucked up and spilled my guts to basically keep here from leaving. anyway thx a bunch bro and if you have anymore questions or advice let me know.

Oh 1 more thing I should add so maybe you guys get a better idea, before we even met she was being needy and insecure and I was playing it cool , she kept asking me to call her but I was busy with work etc, she even was jogging once and told me to call her but I said I don't want to bother her while she jogging and she said just call and that I never bother here and can talk to her about anything. so I called and she picked up the phone while out of breath from running. she was very caring and affectionate at first so when she started acting different it messed with me and I guess it wasn't me but she was really having issues on her end.

Oh 1 more thing at some point when she was in the hospital I texted her sweet things like how I want to be there for her and take care of her etc. she said she was crying from reading my words and that everything I said means the world to her.

ok man, there's a shitload of errors you made here, but basically if i can sum it all up very briefly, it's this single point:

you must build attraction before you built comfort.



i mean this is a girl you fucked the first time meeting, you made her cum multiple times by fucking her all night, you had her thinking you had tons of women all over you and that it must be so easy for you to get women... and then you literally shot yourself in the foot over and over and over and over until she had no choice but to bail on you. you killed yourself in this, all because you kept trying to build comfort instead of building attraction.

until you have gone on at least 12-15 dates with a woman, do not:

-tell her how much you like her (don't do this until she says it to you multiple times)
-tell her you care about her (ditto)
-respond to all her texts instantly
-text her frequently and predictably
-tell her you've never felt this way about anyone before (never do this no matter what)
-get angry at her
-tell her how you really feel (never do this anyways)
-tell her you want to be there for her in the hospital
-agree to not see anyone else except her
-ask if you're doing anything wrong
-ask if you scared her away

all this shit you just did was attempting to create comfort, something that *repels* women early on because it doesn't communicate your status as a busy, high-status male with women chasing him. that's what she dreamed you up to be. that was her fantasy. and you took it from her.

you're supposed to give her just enough interest to keep HER texting YOU, and not a single bit more. she's gotta chase you. she's gotta wonder about you. she has to constantly think you're out fucking other girls the way you fucked her. she's gotta work her ass off for your time. that should be your frame of mind bro, with every single woman.

Oh 1 more thing I should add so maybe you guys get a better idea, before we even met she was being needy and insecure and I was playing it cool , she kept asking me to call her but I was busy with work etc,

this man. this, exactly. when you were busy at work she was hitting you up nonstop. you should have stayed busy for months until she was literally texting you every day to set up a meeting. instead, you killed every ounce of attraction you had by being overly available to her and now she say's you're being too pushy and giving you bullshit excuses like she's having family problems. newsflash: if a girl wants you, she finds a fucking way to see you no matter what.

unfortunately my friend, i'd bet my life you never see this girl again. but the only way i could remotely see you getting back with her is to STOP ALL CONTACT WITH HER IMMEDIATELY UNTIL SHE CONTACTS YOU. and if she texts you tonight you go two fucking days without responding and then respond to her and if she calls you out pretend nothing happened and flirt with her. for every three texts she sends you fucking send one, understand? if she texts you three lines of text you text her back one fucking word, understand? if she wants to meet with you and fuck then you do just that and then get the hell out of there, understand brother? stop texting her all day. stop asking about her day. stop all of this beta nice guy shit. you are not her friend. you are not her husband. you are a dude she fucked once. and apparently you were the best fuck of her life which is why you MAY have a tiny tiny tiny chance of getting her back, but definitely not if you keep smothering the absolute fuck out of her.

sorry for the tough love but it just drives me fucking crazy how brainwashed the men of our generation have become. CHICKS DO NOT WANT NICE GUY WHITE KNIGHTS. do not be mean to her. be cocky as fuck and distant and aloof.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

I disagree with JackZ here...I'm not reading this as messed up abused chick. More like, she actually was rational and the OP was more emotional. Sounds like she got feelings for OP, then took a step back and looked at it realistically:

IT WAS ONE DATE.

SHE HAS FAMILY PROBLEMS.

SHE HAS TO THINK ABOUT WHETHER SHE WILL MOVE BACK HOME.

She met a guy she liked, but the timing was off. Things were too serious and both parts (and not the REAL serious, just long distance /phone call/text serious). Meanwhile she has stuff going on in her life that is real. So she cut things or pulled back not to further complicate things. OP asking her to stay for him, is crazy and too serious for a one date thing. She saw that an pulled back. OP, some times the timing is just off.

But you did act too invested and needy as well. Maybe there was nothing you could do to save this; relax. The timing may have just been not good for her to get involved.

Good idea.

Thx everyone for the help I really appreciate it but the fucked up part is that I have no choice but to play games to get any girl I want and I know I can easily but I guess the stupid part of me believe I might find 1 girl in the damn world that just works without any games, just both people being real and honest. But I guess it is what it is and I have to start saying fuck my pure heart and be more like an asshole and have I don't give a fuck attitude and put myself first and not any girl.

Oh and most current situation not that it matters anymore... Last time I called and she picked up and I basically was going to apologize to her for how I been acting and for being inconsiderate etc of her situation and to basically just say good bye and let her go cause she obviously doesn't feel the same way anymore.

So I basically explained everything to her, why I been doing things the way I have and she said she totally understands and appreciates it.she was very sweet on the phone and actually apologized to me and said she couldn't talk all this time to me and she said she cares about me. But I was at work so we couldn't talk fully but seemed like we were back to normal and everything is good so I told her let me finish work in a few hrs and I will call you so she said ok. So I sent her a text thanking her for talking to me even when it's so hard for her. She sent text saying (Don't thank me dear, we just needed to talk! :*

Today is the 5th day and she hasn't called/texted and hasn't replied or picked up phone when I call. Can you guys explain this bs ? Someone says they care about you but ignores 5days ? Oh and I can see her posting videos music etc on her Facebook so she obviously has time for that but I am not going to bring that up with her.

Here's the thing about girls that alot of guys here don't get. Girls look out for themselves first. You should too. Girls value their family, friends, career and time...alot of guys don't so they don't understand how a girl could like them and not want to see them. You guys are so focused on keeping these girls you don't see how a girl can like you/be attracted to you, but put you on the backburner when she has other priorities.

Bro I get what you are saying but that's not me I don't give a fuck about most girls. And I am a really good looking guy ad everything else and not being concieted even strangers will tell me this things its a fact. I have crazy confidence, I am very busy with work , I teach martial arts, I fight proffessionally, I am around gorgeous girls often but like I said beside their looks I don't feels connection with most girls. This girl is the only one I feel this strongly about. And she loves those parts about me, she told me her self she thinks I am the sexiest fighter she has ever seen. She is very picky. She loves my confidence and passion n goals. Last time we talked she actually said how jealous she is ofmy passion for fighting or pretty much for everything. Like I said this is a complex situation I have never been in before and since I found out all the bad things going on her life I feel like I have to be her so be it knoght in shinning armor. I have tried I can't get her out of my mind even while working/working out. I wake up she is first thing on my mind and all day long. For the first time in my life I am scared of losing a girl (this girl).

Forgot to say also I always put my work career first and girl after and most girls wine how they don't think I have time to be in a relationship but this situation is different.