I was dating this ten years younger girl for like a month or so and I dumped her cause he got on my nerves. I'm pretty new to the game and afterwards I realized that she was just shit testing me.

Backrounds:
This girl seemed to be quite interested on me...calling me dear and darling...hinting about some LTR- type of things. I think that last week before I dumped her I might have been a bit too eager...she confessed to me that shes very much in to my and I replied in kind.

The day I dumped her:
We meet at an amusement park. She seems to be on a bit bad mood...said she had periods that were a lot more uncomfortable than normally (I didn't ask her anything like: "are u upset" or "is everything okay"). At the beginning of the date she whines about somethings...I stay un-phased...I'm on good mood.

Time goes by and she starts to get on better mood, but at the end of date we were at buffet eating and she just out of nowhere says: "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here with you"...like she's wondering why in the hell is she's with me. I was kind a shocked and just answered: "maybe you will find out later" (lame I know ). Then I finished my meal and I said: "Shall we leave".

She comes with me to the train station where I'm gonna jump to a train to go home. She tries to comfort me on our way there (at that point I didn't do much of talking to her and she knew I was offended) and I stay quite neutral. At the station I say good night and bye and don't give her any kisses or what so ever.

When I get to train she texts me (shortened version of text message conversation we had):

SHE: "I hope you realized that I was just joking?"
ME: "Yeah I realized that...no worries"
SHE: "Sure about that?"
ME: "I knew you were joking but I think that was quite shitty humor"
SHE: "I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings...we women are just sometimes like that...today was just my turn to act shitty"
ME: "That kind of behavior isn't something I'm looking for in women" She interprets this as I don't want to see her anymore.
SHE: "I'm very sorry that this wen't like this. You are a very good guy and it was very nice to know you. I hope everything good for you in future!" At this point I feel like I'm in a point of no return and am forced to reply him the same "it was nice to know you blaa blaa blaa"- text.

Afterwards I started to thinking that this was a shit test (childish shit test though)...if I just had responded like: "you know what? I was just thinking the same!"...would it have been better? Any other suggestions to handle that situation?

Ok...but now I'm thinking that how can I warm it up back again? Should I wait like couple of weeks and then text her something like:

"I think we had great time together and it's shame we ended like that...maybe we could still be friends and see each other?"

OR

"I think we had great time together and it's shame we ended like that...how about we give ourselves another chance to do it right this time?"

Any thoughts?

Aleksi

How long have you guys been dating? Did have sex with her? How old are you two?


Also I always try not to eat in front of chicks. Reason being is that everyone has different eating habits that are gross and disgusting to some and a rare delicacy to others.


If I go to a Buffet with a chick and I start eating something in front of her that gross her out I can see why she might saw even If playing around " what am I doing here eating with you?

We had been dating like 4 or 5 weeks and had sex aswell...shes 21 and I'm 31.

I hope my eating habits ain't gross but that also might have been one possibility for her say like that...

She also doesn't have good relationship with her father...her father have been abusive towards her mother and controlling to her. She have had lots of fights and argues with her father which might have caused her to adopt disrespective manners towards men...but this is just guessing.

You know what, I was going to give a serious reply here, but never mind.

Why wouldn't you answer anyways?

It's quite the contrary. If she grow up in a abusive family then she would have been more submissive towards men because she knows what's up and knows violent men don't fuck around and let some chick insult then without getting smacked.


Masculinity is ingrained in her character. Don't mistreat her but do not under any circumstances show her that you are a pussy or that you are needy. They don't know how to process the difference between being kind and being humble since violence is all she knows. She needs to be aware that you are not going to put up with her shit.

Also with these types of women you always need to be the one who pays when you go out to dinner or something. Don't even hint or suggest she pays her half. Just pay like like if she was your woman.

What you don't describe here is the way that she said that phrase at the buffet.
Was she laughing and being in a teasing mood or was she serious? There is a big difference.

If she was laughing and had the body language of joking then it must have been a misunderstanding.
If she was not... then she truly said what was on her mind, she might had not liked you that much ( I don't think that it has to do with your table manners) and then she felt guilty for being that upfront and she tried to be polite.

Either way, sending her another text and seeing if she is up for another date it is a good idea to see which one was from the two. If she says she is busy then she was being polite with the txt messages. If she is happy to see you again then it was just a misunderstanding and just a joke... and maybe you need to stop being that sensitive and read more about how to be more cocky/funny.

I disagree with that. He should behave with her the same as he would behave with other women and if she doesn't like it then he should move on to the next one.

In general I think she was very attracted to me...carried my picture in her wallet, sending "good morning"- text every day and as I said she was calling me as dear/ darling, in finnish language we don't use those words very lightly (if you compare to U.S. english), I think it had some meaning too.

But that particular day I think she was sending me mixed signals...and yes I were overly sensitive. I broke up with my gf for 4 years about 10 weeks ago and one big reason why I broke up with her was that she was verbally abusive when we had fights...so I think I got some kind of "flashback" from my previous relationship with this new girl while she said that to me. Like old wounds were ripped open again... Maybe I should tell her that?

E: I think she meant what she said to me at least in some degree...I think our age gap is something that bothers her...