Don't know what I'm doing wrong, how to keep her interest



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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 5:24 pm 
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Hey Guys,

So I've been seeing this girl for about a week now. Our first date went awesome, slept at her house, Kiss closed, got touchy-feely, and spent the whole next day with her. She said she wanted to have sex but was on her period (not sure if it was just an excuse). We met up about 3-4 more times that following week for quick lunch dates and coffee. Every time it's ended with either a kiss or a makeout, we don't text much unless it's to organize meet-ups (unfortunately, I have been the one to execute every single date so far and always text/call first). It seemed as if everything was going great besides the fact that we haven't had sex which I blame on her roommate situation (they are ALWAYS at her place), and the fact that I live about an hour from NYC, where we have been doing our dating, making my house out of the question. The last time I saw/talked to her was Thursday and it's currently tuesday. I called her yesterday, no response. Texted her today, no response. What am I doing wrong here? I feel as if I am possibly putting too much effort into the relationship by always being the one to contact her, but at the same time it has worked every time. We obviously need to have sex, the fire is slowly dying out without it, I can feel it. Any suggestions/advice for this 19 year old trying to get a handle on women would be awesome!!! Keep it classy, Gentlemen.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 5:42 pm 
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You can't rush it if they are ignoring you or playing hard to get. You have to let them go at their own pace. If she doesn't start coming around to you and answering her phone, then there's not much you can do. She's probably not interested anymore or there's another guy.

Catch-all solution: game other girls.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 6:44 pm 
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Quote:
You can't rush it if they are ignoring you or playing hard to get. You have to let them go at their own pace. If she doesn't start coming around to you and answering her phone, then there's not much you can do. She's probably not interested anymore or there's another guy.

Catch-all solution: game other girls.

Totally, the last thing I want to do is come of as clingy or needy. So, are you suggesting that I don't contact her until I hear from her? Really confused as to what is happening and would like to know what I did wrong if anything at all. Would at least like to walk away from this experience having learned something. Thanks for the speedy reply dude.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:18 am 
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Update: she texted me back, and i have yet to respond. Dunno what to do with this, either ignore her and wait for her to contact me or talk to her. Any suggestions?


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:37 am 
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What was the last few texts? - post them up.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 3:53 am 
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You have got to plan your strategy in advance. You have stated that your goal is to have sex with her. That being the case, going out to lunches and coffees with no plan for a transition to a sex location is not in line with the goal. The next time you get her out have a clear plan for escalation. If it means she has to come to your place for the date, fine. If it means you rent a room, fine. Set the stage so that the sex can happen if she wants it; as you said things are getting stale.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 3:48 pm 
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What was the last few texts? - post them up.

Well Like I said, we don't really text much. It's pretty much just for arranging meet-ups. I tend to be more of a phone call kind of guy. Anyway, these messages happened about a week ago:

Me: Well if it makes you feel better you made out with a celebrity last night... (she was angry about something)
Her: Are you a celebrity???
Me: Well now I am.. Was asked to be in a commercial about toothpaste at the park today lol
Her: No way...
Me: Yeah, I'm kinda the man..
Her: Wow good for you!!! What kind of toothpaste?
Me: Uhh Pronamel? Never heard of it personally.
Her: hahahaha no that's like a big brand!
Me: I guess, I've always been more of a crest kind of guy
Her: ahhh, I just use whatever, what did you have to do for the commercial??
Me: they were asking me about enamel and if i knew i could still drink coffee and not ruin my enamel by switching to their toothpaste.
Her: Lol I'll die if I see you on TV
Me: Lol it was pretty dumb but they paid me for it, so why not?
Her: THEY PAID YOU WTF
Me: Only like $40 but i'll take it for doing practically nothing
Her: That's awesome!!!
Me: Yeah it was pretty cool, how was your day?
Her: SCHOOL but my night class got cancelled last minute so that was amazing
Me: That's sick! Were you with my cousin?
Her: Nope! That was the class that was cancelled!


^^ I realize how uninteresting that convo may sound and it really doesn't give any insight to our relationship but it's really the only recent material that I have to work with.

I stopped replying after that, and the next day (friday) I texted her for lunch, we met up and had just a normal lunch date, nothing crazy. I than called her on monday (zero contact throughout the weekend) to see if she wanted to meet up, no answer. Than texted her on tuesday and didn't get a reply for about 6 hours. All i said was "hey you" and she responded saying "haiii". I have yet to text her back and am not sure what direction I should go with this. Some strategical advice would be excellent right now... Also, if i F***ed up at some point, can someone point that out to me?


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 3:52 pm 
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You have got to plan your strategy in advance. You have stated that your goal is to have sex with her. That being the case, going out to lunches and coffees with no plan for a transition to a sex location is not in line with the goal. The next time you get her out have a clear plan for escalation. If it means she has to come to your place for the date, fine. If it means you rent a room, fine. Set the stage so that the sex can happen if she wants it; as you said things are getting stale.

That is excellent advice. One must always adjust himself for the situation. Just have to find a way to arrange that without sounding too blatant... Straightforward is the best approach but it'll be difficult to plan a date around sex, usually that is supposed to happen spontaneously...


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 3:57 pm 
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Snapchat her a picture of your dick. Chicks love random dick pics.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 4:06 pm 
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Snapchat her a picture of your dick. Chicks love random dick pics.
Lol, has that worked out well for you?


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 4:19 pm 
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I meant post up the texts where you're asking her out.

If you called her up. then tell us what was said?

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 4:34 pm 
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I meant post up the texts where you're asking her out.

If you called her up. then tell us what was said?
Sorry bout that.

The meetup texts (after that conversation I just posted) went like this?

Me: Lunch??
Her: I just finished up the most pointless task I've been doing for the past 2 hours so I'm taking lunch now!
Me: I'll meet you, haven't eaten yet either.
Her: I have till like 2:15
Me: We can go whenver you want. If your busy, it's cool
Her: I have lunch I can eat when I get back! What are you getting?
Me: No clue, probably a sandwich of some sort
Her: Lol, where by so I can walk
Me: By my office, I'll meet you halfway. where are you?
Her: Right now I'm just walking out. Wanna meet like 30th and 6th ish?
Me: Yeah that works, I'll walk over now.

We went for a quick lunch date. Flirted a bit, conversed, got a kiss goodbye and hello. Didn't talk to her the whole weekend and haven't really had any communication since. She tends to respond pretty late to all my texts or won't answer the initial phone call and will wait 30mins to an hour to call me back. I know she has midterms now so she could just be legitimetely busy and I'm worrying over nothing. I just don't like how much effort I'm putting forward that isn't being reciprocated. Usually it's the women who are contacting me once we develop the comfort (granted we've probably had sex) but this one is just not giving in!


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 4:58 pm 
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You didn't have to make that text convo to be so damn hard.

Stop wasting time, and just ask her this:

"Hey, let's get a drink together, what does your week's schedule look like?'

Then pick a day that works both for you. Then that is it. If she flakes or says 'maybe' then you know she is not that interested in you.

If she meets then you're golden.

I wish I could drill this into everybody's skulls'. Guys, put pressure on her to find the time for you. If she is flakey - she will squirm, if she is interested it will be smooth, i don't get why people make it so hard for themselves by randomly turning up to talk on their dinner breaks at work or guessing when she might be free.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 5:01 pm 
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She is engaged and asking questions via text... She seems into you.

I don't really see her interest level wavering, honestly.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 5:21 pm 
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You didn't have to make that text convo to be so damn hard.

Stop wasting time, and just ask her this:

"Hey, let's get a drink together, what does your week's schedule look like?'

Then pick a day that works both for you. Then that is it. If she flakes or says 'maybe' then you know she is not that interested in you.

If she meets then you're golden.

I wish I could drill this into everybody's skulls'. Guys, put pressure on her to find the time for you. If she is flakey - she will squirm, if she is interested it will be smooth, i don't get why people make it so hard for themselves by randomly turning up to talk on their dinner breaks at work or guessing when she might be free.
I can't agree more, short, straightforward, and to the point is absolutely the best way to go. Unfortunately, its implementation can be complicated at times. Every time I've asked to meet up she has agreed, which leads me to believe I'm doing alright. It's just the recent flakiness that has been getting to me. Would it be a good idea to stop communication for a few more days and make her worry a bit? Or just respond to her last text and organize something for this week or weekend? Appreciate the advice dude, still young, inexperienced, and eager to learn!


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