I believe that you can defeat a fear of approaching with a vastly greater fear or regret. The gist of the theory is that every set you don't approach can be used to build an emotional Leverage against inaction.

Fear is an amazing motivational tool. A job is hardly a concern for the primitive instinct yet have you ever worked to hard as when you thought you was going to lose it? Fear is a basic instinct that can be manipulated by your conscious. Think of this theory as a scale, if you fear the lack or positives you can attain through approaching more than you fear the delusional negatives, then the outcome should surely be proactive. Would you rather hit SPAM or the Joker? Both are rather unpleasant options but I'm willing to bet everyone would chose SPAM because the joker is a bigger threat, you fear him more.

The best way to do this by contrasting the result of inaction to reference experiences where you have taken action and its succeeded, you achieved a result or learnt something. This will help you realise you have more to lose by not approaching. The key to comparing to present inaction to past experiences is to make sure every set (past, present and future) adds to your leverage of regret by being a positive contrast to inaction. This is simple enough in sets that go well but the key is to restructure every scenario no matter how awful in list of positives.

When a set goes poorly then focus on what you could have done better. Learn to laugh at negative scenarios and the can become sources of amusement as well as learning experiences. This is best for people who can approach but still struggle to motiate themselves to consistently.

This is the opposite of how I progressed. I first I felt lots of regret when I chickened out. I've learned to just take not of when I pussied out, but more on. Approaching isn't a big deal, so neither is not approaching.

I've experienced this directly in the field. I was using this as a tool although an inefficient one because I would miss out on the first set or two of the day.

It would go like this: I would (without wanting to) allow AA to take over and not approach the first set or two of the day. I would have such a deep level of regret over this that I would literally force myself to interact with the next girl who came across.

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only person who's experienced this. I do understand how this could only resonate with certain people but I do think its important to reframe past experiences if you come from a history of self pity. That's not what I'm advocating at all. Regret and a resolve to avoid that feeling is very different from self pity.

Though its not the most efficient incertain context like the one you experienced oceanx, your experience was sounds somewhat accidental. If developed it could certainatly work in the moment.

Last saturday I was halfway through my sentence, trying to explain this theory to my wing this weekend when I saw a girl I would only usually open if warmed up if at all. She was just my type and spuring her friend on towards my favourite place in any club, the dancefloor. As the theory swirled around my mind I could no longer focus and had to open, the general feeling I had was " its now or never". I got up and took her by the hand "were dancing now" I turned and lead, we danced and I wasn't persistent enough afterwards but the point is, it worked.

It was amazing how I felt AA but my need to take action was greater. Something as simple as "its now or never" can become a great motivational statement if you've established this frame beforehand.

Its a theory I've only recently develouped and have dabeled with but that set is why I felt compeled to share it so early. This weekend I will put it into practice as much as possible and report back.

I completely agree that if harnessed properly in the manner you experienced at the club, this could be a very powerful way to combat AA. It's a matter of having the pain of possible regret outweigh the pain of AA so you take action.

In my opinion there needs to be a permanent understanding in the brain of the pain of past regrets as they relate to possible future regret (as in what you will feel if you don't approach this particular girl) in order for this to work on a consistent basis.

I will add that the technique definitely worked for me but I was using it inefficiently as mentioned because I'd miss out on perfectly good opportunities to start the day. But it did force me to approach afterward, so it was efficient in that way.

After experiencing this for the first time, I consciously used it after that, but again, inefficiently. Your way of using this to approach the first set of the day is a more effective way to use this.