She Just Got Out Of A Relationship



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PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 10:51 pm 
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Hey guys i have this not so bad situation but would still some valued advice :D So basically i had this birthday party made for me and this girl came with her friend that I ended up meeting ( Really cute and great personality ) and I really seemed to like her but didn't have much time to escalate anything much because i was busy speaking with others and it would be just rude to ditch your own party for alone time with a girl you just met 8)
I did ask for her number though and said that it would be cool if we met up some time blah blah whatever and i was texting with her and ended up asking what food she liked and she answered pasta so i told her that maybe she would have to honor to take ME out sometime ( this actually works really well by the way haha ) and she said that you should be the one taking me and i said of course and she said that before we go out i should know that she got out of a bad relationship only a week ago and she isn't sure if she is ready for a new one but would still love to start out as friends and i said that you never know what might happen. Anyway, I wanted some ones advice on how could i make this date worthwhile that she would want to continue seeing me not as friends (even though her whole situation that happened a week ago). Thanks :)


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 1:24 am 
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On something like that, I would try to downplay the whole dating/relationship stuff and act like you are just going out to have a good time. Tell her you aren't really the type who dates around or jumps into relationships. There's really no other type besides those two, but she probably won't notice that subtle detail and will just assume you are a laid back dude and not looking to get too serious too quickly.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 1:35 am 
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The problem is that if i dont show that i want a relationship from her, she probably wont give me the chance to be in one with her. This girl is too hot to miss and im sure that there are a ton of guys wishing to be in my position. I think a good aproach would be making her feel that "i'm the prize" which is hard for me to apply onto myself. Any suggestions?


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 2:45 am 
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Quote:
I think a good aproach would be making her feel that "i'm the prize" which is hard for me to apply onto myself.
I agree.
Quote:
Any suggestions?
Yes..
Quote:
i told her that maybe she would have to honor to take ME out sometime ( this actually works really well by the way haha ) and she said that you should be the one taking me and i said of course
Right there: When a situation like that comes up, don't back down from your initial frame-set. You were perfectly setting yourself up in the frame of being the prize until she said 'you should take me out.'

When these things come up again, in reply to her saying "you should be the one taking me" you could be like "nahh, oh so ur too cheap to take me out.....guess you'll be cooking me pasta then : PPP"


Last edited by oceanx on Sun Oct 12, 2014 2:55 am, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 2:51 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
I think a good aproach would be making her feel that "i'm the prize" which is hard for me to apply onto myself.
I agree.
Quote:
Any suggestions?
Yes..
Quote:
i told her that maybe she would have to honor to take ME out sometime ( this actually works really well by the way haha ) and she said that you should be the one taking me and i said of course
Right there: When a situation like that comes up, don't back down from your initial frame-set. You were perfectly setting yourself up in the frame of being the prize until she said 'you should take me out.'

When these things come up again, in reply to her saying "you should be the one taking me" you could be like "nahh, oh so ur too cheap to take me out.....guess you'll be cooking me pasta then : PPP"
Yeah I kinda thought of that too but i was more wondering on how i could apply the "Prize" approach when we will be on our date? It always seems a little more harder in prime time action :(


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 2:54 am 
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Part of the reason she immediately said she wanted to start out as friends could have been because she was testing you by putting herself back in the "prize" position and you complied. Quite frankly this may be a lost cause because of her 'friends' comment. As in, you do so much as touch her arm and she says "whoa, just friends for now, remember?" Once in the friend zone it's usually but not always a permanent sentence.
Quote:
This girl is too hot to miss
Be careful with this particular mindset as it has gotten many guys into spots where they miss out on what could have been a good thing. Meet more girls. When you place an all or nothing attitude onto a particular girl she can feel it; for some reason they would rather chill with a guy who has options and with a guy who they can TELL has options by his nonchalant attitude.
Quote:
i was more wondering on how i could apply the "Prize" approach when we will be on our date? It always seems a little more harder in prime time action :(
If you have already complied that you are going to be treating her to a pasta dinner, I'm afraid the prize ship has sailed. I'd back way down from that offer and just go for a walk, feel things out, try to go kino, be playful, if she's cold and says "back down, we are just friends" then you just saved face and a lot of wasted time sitting across from a girl at a restaurant. At that point you can skip the walk and go meet more girls instead.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 11:34 am 
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Quote:
Part of the reason she immediately said she wanted to start out as friends could have been because she was testing you by putting herself back in the "prize" position and you complied. Quite frankly this may be a lost cause because of her 'friends' comment. As in, you do so much as touch her arm and she says "whoa, just friends for now, remember?" Once in the friend zone it's usually but not always a permanent sentence.
Quote:
This girl is too hot to miss
Be careful with this particular mindset as it has gotten many guys into spots where they miss out on what could have been a good thing. Meet more girls. When you place an all or nothing attitude onto a particular girl she can feel it; for some reason they would rather chill with a guy who has options and with a guy who they can TELL has options by his nonchalant attitude.
Quote:
i was more wondering on how i could apply the "Prize" approach when we will be on our date? It always seems a little more harder in prime time action :(
If you have already complied that you are going to be treating her to a pasta dinner, I'm afraid the prize ship has sailed. I'd back way down from that offer and just go for a walk, feel things out, try to go kino, be playful, if she's cold and says "back down, we are just friends" then you just saved face and a lot of wasted time sitting across from a girl at a restaurant. At that point you can skip the walk and go meet more girls instead.
So you'r saying there is almost nothing i can do to get my "prize" state back?


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 10:21 pm 
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I'm saying I would blow up the plans of taking her out for an 8 course dinner and scale it back to something way more casual such as a walk. Reframe as the prize from there. In my view the moment you sit down for the dinner across the table from this girl who you have capitulated to and who has said "Friends only for now" it will be difficult to swing it in the direction you want it to go.

Easy to change plans if you want to: text: "Change of plans...we're going for a walk i'll meet u at X." If she rejects this offer then she's only in it for a free meal, one of many she may be enjoying these days. She should want to spend time with YOU, not for the THINGS you do/buy for her.


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