The opener doesn't matter. Unless we're talking about negative extremes.

If you say "hey you're really ugly". End of interaction immediately if it doesn't progress into a fight of some sort.

Other than that, the upside for an "extremely good" opener, is not super amazing. It is not going to get you laid anymore than a total random one will. A good opener opens the set, but almost any thing said calmly and confidently will can too. A good opinion opener like "do you guys like chocolate?", is useful. Because you now have something to talk about. But it doesn't hold that much value as an opener in itself. It's just another topic of conversation. You could use it as a transition. You could use it as conversational piece. You could use it in to build a connection by attaching a sad story about your grandmum who loved chocolate bla bla bla.

Whatever you say to initiate the interaction
, is your opener, and it could be anything.

There is no difference in going up to a girl and saying "fuck it's hot here". "Hey do you like chocolate?"
"Aw I knew it, ok so it's a fact, every LOVES chocolate. Sorry just asking because ........"

My opener was a comment on the environment, I transitioned with asking her opinion. The opener doesn't really matter.

Don't spend so much time on the opener. If your at the pasta section of the grocery store, "I love pasta, which one should I get ?" If you're at the counter of a bar "what u getting?". If you're in a queue, "I think they need more staff!". If she's ordering a lot of stuff, "that's all, you don't want the BLT sandwich too maybe? Haha."

What is worth spending time on is the transition. Because no matter what the opener is, you can't talk about that forever. No matter how well the opener went, the transition is the deal breaker. Most of the time, it's not even your fault. She could be attracted to you, she could love you by the openers end. But when u hit that awkward silence. It's all over.

Translation.

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"You're really cute."

"Are you from around here?"

"You don't look [Insert ethnicity]. Where are you from?"

If it's online you can say any stupid shit or any stupid quote as long as you keep it simple and initiate. Very little will change if a girl will reply to you or not. Some just want attention and don't really care to talk to you... On the likes of Tinder 50% of people won't say anything and this is both true for men and women(The amount of girls i've come across who hardly speak to any of their matches or have their matches speak to them is insane).

Openers don't mean much but you do need the confidence to deliver it. Get confident with some canned material and then branch out to the simpler stuff if you're not too confident in your approach and opening. Using canned material is a great way to get used to approaching and opening women and knowing exactly what to say and know what to expect from 90% of the women out there.

Agreed !

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I think the opener is relevant insofar as it frames the context for the next part of your interaction. If you're like "Hi, I noticed you have an awesome pair of shoes on, where on earth did you get them?", that will naturally transition into a normal conversation about shoes, shopping, the area she's from, and so on. That is the essence of how natural conversations flow, whether in pickup or just with everyday people.

The problems start when you use that same opener, then you abruptly shift gears to some other canned material or something incongruous that makes it pretty obvious you are just trying to hit on her. That's why you need good conversational skills because you need to be glib and witty and keep things flowing naturally. Canned material eventually falls flat once you run out of it and fail to transition properly.

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Yes agreed too. Good point.
The consensus is clearly that openers are great crutches.

If you're starting out please go ahead and memorize some openers. And also pre empt some responses to script a couple of transitions.

If you've done that and u want to get better. Focus on the transitions. But not just scripting them. Get used to a couple of skills that enables you to script a transition on the spot. Its all about staying calm and being able to think fast.

The opener can set you up to have more threads to choose from. But that still requires you to transition off the the opener at some point. Your going to have to pick a thread from her response to open more conversation lines, no matter what the opener was.

no matter what opener you use, more often then not, her response is going to give you some thread to talk about. Regardless of how spectacular your opener was in terms of opening future threads, the girl always has the option of responding in any way she wants. If she gives you a one word answer or some other short response because she's not interested? She can do that with any opener.

The key thing is not relying much on her response.

You: Nice shoes where did u get em?
Her: some shop
You: ........
(Difficult to further interact if you rely on opener)

You: nice shoes where did you get em?
Her: oh they're loubs from rodeo drive. I just go them yesterday to reward myself.
You: oh cool you live in .....
(Easy to further interact if you rely on opener)

So it could go well, it could go terrible.

Conversely, focusing on the transition. Examples of openers that seemingly aren't as good)
You: u like chocolate
Her: no
You: wow. Your special. I wish my girl friends were more like you. They're chocolate infatuation is taking over our lives (transition)
(Difficult to further interact if you rely on her response. But who cares. I can transition off anything. )

You: u like chocolate
Her: fucking love it ! Me n my friends were just saying how chocolate makes us feel sooo good. Haha
You: oh not one of those ! You ever wonder why ALL women love choc and man hardly care abt it
(Easy to further interact)

When not relying on opener, and focusing on transition. You can deal w anything

Another example.

You: it's hot eh (an opener with seemingly nowhere to go)
Her: er yeah
You: I swear there's a huge difference btw how hot weather affects my mood and cold. U ever get that? Remember a couple days ago it was insanely cold. I swear I felt so much calmer. But at the same time I guess he cold does make u a little more reflective. Which do U prefer? / u ever notice how so many variables subtlety affect out psyche / ah who cares, today's an amazing day regardless of this insane heat, where r ur friends? (Another transition off of the transition)

Translation

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I don't focus on my opener. I focus on my state. I get myself I a fun happy out going state then u can say anything. The world teaches us we can be in a confidant state if u have a new outfit or how u feel when u buy that awesome car. But u can put yourself In to state without buying stuff it's all in your head. My best opener is a kiss opener

Not sure about the kiss opener haha. You must be one confident guy !

But agree with everything else. You've got the right idea !

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Musician, Gym Junkie, Entrepreneur, Dating Expert.

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Read it it's on the lounge
Progress not perfection is the name of my post. It's so easy

Cool stuff !

_________________
Musician, Gym Junkie, Entrepreneur, Dating Expert.

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http://datingcoachsingapore.com

We have an extensive body of knowledge.

We have the BEST MINDS you will ever find on social-interaction and relationships.