Hi guys!

I have been dating a very cute girl for over 3 months, and we have a great chemestry and friendship.

Since the beginning, she annoyingly keeps mentioning her ex fiance nearly everyday, who messed her up by cheating on her and dumping her after 4 years monogamous relationship - this was about 10 months ago. That's why she says she doesnt want and can't fall in love again, proposing an "Open Relationship" to me. That means she wants to fuck other girls sometimes (she's bisexual).

I perceive her as still fucked up in her feelings and wanting to let steam out through lust, and I am considering not tking part on this, since I don't think this works out on the long term.

What should I do? Any help would be very much appreciated!

Would you be asking this question if she didn't have a celebrity status?

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

I have removed that detail, since it didnt make much difference (just adds extra value). And yes, I would be asking it.

Exactly. It seems like you are giving her extra value for some reason. She wants to be in an open relationship because she is not ready for anything more than that. She's giving you the option of being a FWB. If you don't want that, walk away.

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

I've been a lot more than just an FWB so far, but you're absolutely right, black and white, these are the terms. I am just unsure if that could lead into something healthy or not. She did say she had a 5 year open relationship once (she saw other girls) and this doesn't sound too bad. But there's the "EX" factor, and she shows clearly that she's not ready for love.

So, anyone got any other ideas to turn this situation to my side??

Usually the time it takes someone to get over an ex is half the time they spent together. That's if she stayed on her own and did no dating.
The memories on her mind are still fresh from the ex. The only thing that can speed up this process is intense feelings about someone else.
You can either leave her and start from fresh with someone new. If you want to take a risk, follow the method I am going to PM you.

maria_

I am interested in this method you PM'd to them. Just curious what your suggestions were in this situation.

What do you think is unhealthy about an open relationship? She is bisexual. What are you going to do, try and be with her forever and keep her from having something she enjoys for the rest of her life?

I say, make good use of this woman. Have the open relationship. While she is out fucking other women, you can learn how to deal with feelings like jealousy. Seems like a growth opportunity here for you. Don't waste it. Do the open relationship, and feel free to pursue other women that you are attracted to.

There is nothing wrong with relationships that expose your insecurities. In fact, those are the best ones to be in because they are the ones that show you what you need to work on to grow as an individual.

Obviously if it is something you outright don't want then you just cut ties or establish hard boundaries and be done with it. That's a no brainer. You are here because you DO want it, but you want it to be the way YOU want it, not the way she does. I would play into her game a little bit and go with the flow, gradually trying to reign her in. Eventually, through the course of your romantic relationship and the time you spend together, affection and bonds will form which will then allow the relationship to go to a whole new level.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

Well, there it is. I kinda got pissed off with a flaky atitude last weekend and I broke up with her.

Basically I told her she's not in conditions to have a relationship with me because she's still messed up about her ex bf. Of course, the reason can also be because she's not that much into me, maybe. My ego tells me that after 4 months dating as if we were bf and gf, she's not that much into me because she keeps talking about her ex all the fucking time. Anyway. I kinda want her back and have no idea if there's a ideal way to behave in order toattract her back.

Thanks!

Don't play armchair psychiatrist with her. She is being extremely open and honest with you about what she wants. When you try to corral her away from what she wants and try to push her into something she doesn't want, you are asking for trouble.

The only chance you have of talking a girl who wants an open relationship into a closed relationship is by telling her that you do want something with her but it would have to be monogamous. And then tell her to contact you if she changes her mind. At that point you're giving her the choice to make. Does she like you enough to give up what she wants on the side? And when she makes that decision it's her decision and not something you pushed her into.

You're not her shrink or therapist when she brings up her fiance you say my life is a drama free zone you're with me not him. As far as the terms of your relationship if you don't like them walk away, but tell her to coontact you if she changes her mind always leave the door open you do that I'm most all woman will come back to you. Women respond to what they respond to, and fear of losing a guy they have interest in is something women respond strongly and usually quickly to plus her interest/attraction for you will go up based on the alpha qualities you displayed ie: you didn't like the terms of the relationship she offered so you walked.

If you want her as fwb great go for it, but if you want her as your gf you can't agree to be her fwb. You have to walk away if you agree to being her fwb you'll pretty much ruin any chance at a relationship with this girl. Its pretty much the same as agreeing to to be just friends hoping that she'll love you again if you're her friend for long enough only difference is you're still getting laid.