Hey guys,

Sometimes I have to travel to another city(s) for a few weeks by bus. And Only by bus. So it happens a lot to be a travel mate of a lady. I mean according to the tickets, sometimes a woman sits beside me, and sometimes a man. Randomly.

I can understand from the woman's breathing, her breasts shape, the way she overally behaves.. I can understand she is sensitive/sexually desiring/she wants it.

But when I talk to her, I see her turning her face to the opposite or not responding interestingly. That makes me feel that the problem is the lines, the words that I use on her. I don't tell her what she wants, or maybe I don't tell her what she wants. I think they want other things to hear but I don't know WHAT they want? they don't tell me too. So I'm confused.. a horny girls beside me, but I can't activate her and make her mine.

Not only with horny women in the bus, but also while opening them in the street etc., they look at me in a weird way that makes me feel_they think I'm not the guy they want. ^^ I mean maybe.. I'm not sure yet. What should I do guys?

I would greatly appreciate if you advice me on this and tell me what to do to be a lil better at it.
Thanks in advance.

This is your problem. Whatever you are saying to her is making her uncomfortable. The fact that you say that you are using lines make me think that you are coming across cheesy.

You are wasting time analyzing breathing and breast shapes. Instead learn how to talk normally.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Hey mate, thanks for carefully reading my post

I do not spend time observing bodies to see if they're in egg period or not (which means they're horny and can't resist sex). But I do accept that I have problem in talking to women. Actually I talk to them, I don't have confidence problems but what I lack is a lil words and a process to make a lady happy while speaking together, so when it comes for number closing or even kiss closing, there would be less or no resist at all.

I have started trying talking to women but the results were not as good as I wanted. I ask questions, they answer quickly so I think they're not interested. Or they think why they should answer a stranger guy?

I talk emotional, they think I'm a kid, so leave me. I have tried the hell different types of conversations and styles with them, no matter what, the result is... sympathy, only listening to me, or saying fucking No.

I want to adjust it now.. tiered of these results.. really.

I talk about a general topic, like the weather, the driving in our town, or taxi rates, they only listen, and sometimes say something but no friendship or at least number closing.

I volunteer and ask numbers, and I know it's wrong because I didn't build intimacy enough or make a reason for her to be with me, finally I fail. They say no, sorry, I don't make friends with guys. Not interested.

They ARE interested. The problem is ME AND THE WAY I TALK TO THEM. I don't know how to talk to women yet. I need to use something rather that asking questions or talking about general that makes her only listen or answers to get rid of me. But what I tried, did not give me the result I want. I need help, guys.

What do you think is good to use? Or how do You personally talk to women? What's your concept when you talk to a young lady though?

This is a basic problem of rapport building. Not an easy one, but it is good to see that you understand your deficiency and want to fix it.

Firstly, it is common to see a woman who looks at you and seems to like you then gets turned off. It can be a simple matter of her being curious then actually meeting you and just not being interested. Shit happens. And when it does, don't just keep talking to them.

Questions are valuable as jumping off points, but should not be the theme of the conversation... interview mode. It is important that there be a flow to the conversation. Asking a question, getting an answer, then asking another unrelated question is total death. It looks like you are trying hard to talk to them but are simply unable to naturally converse. Ask something, get an answer, then respond with a statement or follow-up question that shows you've actually heard and thought about what she has said.

Here is a pretty standard way for me to deal with a common question:

Me: cats or dogs?
Her: I love dogs.
Me: Really?! (mild yuck face) I'm a cat person. Dogs are like having kids, cats are like having roommates. That's more like how I roll. Why do you like dogs?
Her: blah, blah blah...

There are a number of things going on her worth noting. For one thing, "Cats or dogs?" is clearly a basic chit chat topic, not hiding the fact that I'm intending to talk to her and find out shat she is like. "Really?!" shows that I have my own opinion and am not worried if it is not the same as her. It shows I'm my own person and cool with that. "Why dogs" is a follow-up that goes from what she thinks to how she feels. A level deeper and connected to what was already said.

Don't interrupt, listen, and that is not the same as just not talking or waiting to speak. Research "Active listening". Whether they are conscious of it or not, people can till if they are being listened to.

While you want to get to deeper, personal topics, it is important not to go to far to fast with the kinds of questions you ask. In some cases you can ask deeply personal questions of a girl right away, other times not. Experience and calibration are the key here, so until you get better, err on the side of caution.

Don't be too keen to talk to them. You don't know them yet, so don't be too interested initially. Remember, you saw them, you liked them, so the appropriate mindset is curiosity, not sexual interest. You aren't talking to them because you want to fuck them (because that would seem needy), but rather you are curious about whether or not they are interesting enough to want to fuck. Obviously you DO want to fuck them, but are they going to be worth the effort of getting there. That is what you are probing to find out.

You also may not be smiling, or smiling too hard. Your body language may not display the same way you think it does. They way you look at them and talk to them and hold your body might be creepy as all hell and without calibration disinterest and shyness look very much the same. Watch for it.

That's enough for now. Does any of this ring true to you?

you kind of contradict yourself. you talk about observing her body then you say you do NOT spend time observing her body. either way, the thing about knowing she wants it is puzzling to me. did someone tell you that you can see a strange woman and know that she wants sex before you even meet her? if so, i wouldn't listen to that advice. you can tell if a woman wants sex after she interacts with you in some form or another, but normally women in public aren't just sitting around horny and waiting to have sex with a stranger.

i do like that you aren't putting the problem on them though. it shows positive initiative that you want to learn what you can do better.

Wow, what a great guys! I feel that we have a common understanding of the issue. That's what I'm looking for Well, you've got a point, the problem is in THIS spot, it's in the opening part of the relationship with the girls. You call it rapport, or opener or line or whatever else, I'm having problem with THIS part. You're right.

About questions, actually it doesn't/didn't work for me. As I wrote, they only listen, when it comes to THEM to talk about what I asked, they answer shortly, or non. Maybe I didn't do it in the right place but anyways, I'm not That into questioning people. I'm more of a fan in what most humans like. I don't think people like question-based conversations.

Actually I observed guys which has girls around them, they have a specific concept for their conversation, that THEY USE IT WITH EVERYONE. It's like they dress well, eventually attract attention of others, then when you talk to them, they start talking about... like social issues, a third topic, nor personal questions neither about their own personalities. So the listener feels like his listening to a open mind person, a person whom you can talk to, a person whom you can ask questions when you have one. It's their CONCEPT that transfer all of these good points right into the listener and makes him feel good, not just the words they use.

It worked on me actually. When I talked to that guy and asked him how do you talk to them (to girls) he started talking about social issues and that they need a man anyway, why not us? they want a man better than us? he showed masculinity and was projecting a good feeling so he toke me with his flow and I was interested in him. The mother fucking guy made himself like a 'whole package-guy' in my eyes lol, I was even interested to keep talking to him though I was a guy myself and older than him lol ). Was skillful and I could guess the reason why he was successful with girls.

My pain is, in this part of my communication. I'm not justified in this issues, I still don't know how to adjust and organize myself and my mentality so I look like that guy for example. Friendly and likable.

Should I have a social concept? like when I talk to a person, apart of gender, I start talking about like driving in our society and that we should consider the rules? or like that we should be good to each other as mates (social concepts) anything that shows my positive mentality and being a high value person in general...

... Or only be a questioning guy that asks questions and continue asking new questions and make a question-based conversation that if questions stops, conversations stops too?...

... there might be a healthy and valuable communication/conversation strategy or method that works almost in most situations and gives a better and more likable image of our personality that attracts people to us and make them interested in us.

Question based conversation.. actually I'm not skilled in it. I can ask questions, I'm smart enough, but I don't feel comfortable with it. I prefer to ask questions through the conversation but not building the conversation on questions.

With love,
Youssef

You are slightly missing the point. No one suggests a question "based conversation". Questions are the way people find stuff to talk about. It's how you let the girl pick the topic. Ask questions as if you are going somewhere with it. Not just yes/no shit that they can answer in one word.

Also, you may be making girls nervous in a good way, and when that happens they give short answers and don't have much to say. That is good, GREAT actually. But it means that you need to direct the conversation, and you do that in a way that questions are a natural part of human interaction. Questions are how you get the other person to talk when they are nervous and don't know what to say.

Hey MasterMind and other friends,

As for asking questions, now I know what you mean. Conception fixed. But about directing the conversation, again, I think the concept is important (or if something else is more important, please tell me):

My concept is more kind a social, and education based. Like what do you study?, where did you study? etc. or do you live here? and so on.. and when the answer is short, my nature keeps me from continuing the conversation. Even if it continues, I'm not sure to be a beloved or a lover in that relationship, because the 'subject' of our meeting was a social one, not set for that. Thus, even if the girl says yes, there would be no right for me to expect love and intimacy.

To direct a conversation to where I want, that is love and intimacy including sex, I think I need a better concept and a better system. Maybe that's what keeps me from taking the woman I know she's into sex but waiting for the right man_ and loosing her. This is what I think what would help me select conversation topics and lead the relationship to a valuable point. By this concept that I have already, I am blessed if I am considered as 'just a friend' lol, I won't be anywhere, I know. I need to change it.

I think you had a great understanding of my writings, MasterMind, I bet you spend a lot of time online. And also you communicate greatly so I think I can learn from your experience


Please tell me how can I simplify my conversation? I mean, I accept the fact that asking questions is a basic need of every conversation, alright, but the thread that we ask about is also important.

So, asking questions or talking about driving in our busy city, or that trust is hard in these days.. I don't think would lead me to love and intimacy. I don't think speaking about age, education, weather, pets ets. would lead to love and intimacy. Because of the concept.

There MUST be a specific concept for this so if we use it, we get results. I think it's the 'concept' that helps Mehow and Slade Shaw and Mystry and Nail strauss and the alike so successful in the art of pick up. It's their words, and more importantly it's the concept that they organize their conversation on it and pick a lot of super hot women.

Thanks again for reading my posts and writing for me