What do you do when you're directly competing with a man face to face for a woman? I have a couple related mini questions in bold below.

Backstory: I was in an interesting situation this weekend at a convention for meeting men/women, and there was one woman there who was clearly the hottest chick. We'll call her Sandra. Interestingly, this chick only had 3 suitors. Myself and a guy named Steve were clearly gaming this woman, while another guy Eric was somewhat indirectly gaming her behind the scenes. For our purposes, let's not worry about Eric.

I probably spent 50% of the convention either talking to Sandra, dancing with Sandra, or generally hovering/hanging around her and her friends. The rest of the time I tried to meet other people so I would have other options, potentially make Sandra jealous, raise my social status, and have a good time.

Steve probably spent like 70% or more of his time with this woman. Naturally, I found myself hanging out with Steve a lot. The approach I took with Steve was not to come off as if we're competing and to befriend him (without trying too hard). He seemed to be treating me the same way. Do you think I should have tried to make fun of him in a funny way in front of Sandra (when he's around or not) to kind of elevate myself above him status wise? Steve was a good deal older than Sandra, had mutton chops, and was generally pretty corny so it wouldn't have been too hard to get in some good jokes at his expense.

Total convention time over the weekend was about 10 hours, and me, Steve, Sandra, and one of her friends hung out for the majority of that time frame. Do you think this was a mistake? Should I have hung out with her less, or more like Steve? There were times when I would leave Steve and Sandra to talk alone, but Steve never did that for me. I would come back though just because I didn't want to give Steve too much alone time.

I was also trying not to suffocate this woman with attention, although I might have done just that. When I would talk to her I would gauge her interest, and if I noticed her getting bored I would either change the subject to something more interesting or leave her and go talk to other people. Steve was not afraid to cling on to this chick's company, and if I were her I would have been suffocated by him.

It was difficult for me to ever get alone time with her. I tried to isolate her a couple times with no luck. She wanted to hang out with her friends (not Steve, other friends). I know that's generally an indicator of disinterest in me, but she did show signs of interest at times. I was able to steal Sandra from Steve on the dance floor in a tasteful way which was fun.

Sadly, I didn't close Sandra, and I saw Steve going up in an elevator with Sandra and a couple of her friends to their hotel rooms. Somehow, I doubt he closed her and believe he ended up going up to his own room alone. Who knows though.

Thanks in advance!

Here is my take on your questions.

Do you think I should have tried to make fun of him in a funny way in front of Sandra (when he's around or not) to kind of elevate myself above him status wise?

If Sandra is an aggressive gangsta bitch and/or trailer trash, then yes, it would probably work. But otherwise no. If she is a respectful woman she expects other people to show respect as well. Making fun of someone else is disrespectful and low, and lowers your value.

Should I have hung out with her less, or more like Steve?

Neither. I would read her body language to find out whether she was disturbed by Steve's constant attention and adapt my own game after the fact. I would most likely head for her friends in either case, and befriend them instead, and maybe even number close one of the men. Why? Because that would increase the chance to meet the girl in the future instead, when the situation is different. It would also be a way to get social proof from the people who means the most to her. If she for whatever reason would leave Steve and head back to her friends, you would already be in set, a member of the group. Generally, by charming the group the girl will automatically be attracted, which would be an advantage over Steve who didn't focus on the group at all.

I see absolutely nothing in your post to indicate that this woman was sexually attracted to either of you. Sounds like she had two fun buddies, feeding her ego.

What you should do, is get her away from the group for even a minute or two, and while away, tell her you want to see her later - just the two of you. If she's into you, she'll agree. If she won't, you're wasting your time.

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RSDTyler

I think asking her for some alone time would have been a great idea. I might still kinda use it for a similar situation. If I decide to go visit her for a Halloween party (she lives a pretty far drive away), I might first ask her if I come to her town if we'll hang out some just the two of us.

To say that she wasn't attracted to either of us is absolutely a fair assessment given the details I left you with. I kinda didn't want to make my post about "Is she into me or not". It is possible she wasn't attracted to either of us, but I don't think it's likely.

@Hugge: Thanks I completely agree with you. I tried to read her, and at first it seemed like she was annoyed by him. As time went on, it became clear that he was growing on her. That's part of why I hung out with Sandra more on Saturday night. Similarly, I charmed her best friend/roommate and ended up hanging out with her solo for a solid portion of the night. Exactly what you said would happen happened. She would leave us for a bit, and she'd come right back to her friend.

I'm sure she noticed that you two are gaming her/competing over her. It's pretty damn obvious.

Play it like a boss bro, don't get into what I call the "fun buddy circle". As the guy above said, ask her for some alone time. If she doesn't agree, move on, don't waste your time. Other than that, you can try closing her at once in a party/event by escalating. Doesn't work? Just move on and find someone else.

Look at her, when she makes eye contact and smiles at you WHILE talking to the other guy, move in, right in. Walk up to the table, tell the other guy he can go now. The reaction will be shock on both their faces, rock it. Poker face. Hold fast, be totally nonreactive to his reponse and turn to the girl, eye contact, and move on with the assumption buddy has or is leaving and that you are the new sheriff in town.

You've just pulled the boldest, most confident move either of them have ever seen. You know this. Be like ice. You belong, he doesn't, period.

THIS. If only I could rewind and do this. I love it. It's such a boss move. I will remember it.

@Xoved: Yes, not only did she know I was gaming her, everyone in the room knew I was gaming her. One dude (an AFC for sure) had been watching me and even came up to me to shake my hand after he saw me man up and dance with her. Nobody had been dancing with her.

I respectfully disagree about being in the fun buddy circle. I think being there for a time isn't bad, it's just that I probably lingered there too long and didn't isolate correctly. I won the group, but it never occurred to me to ask for some alone time that directly. It's what I wanted in my head, but for some weird reason it seemed bad to ask her for alone time. It was a mental illusion I created, and I don't know why.