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PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:19 pm 
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A little bit of introduction about myself in the most concise form. 21, been practicing pua for 3 years and I'm very good at getting what i want with the opposite sex. Right now i'm looking for things that has worked. Not a suggestion that hypothetically can work.

Random Hookups:Many
Flings: Lots
Relationships: 1

Met a girl from tinder and from our conversation she was one who i was genuinely looking forward to a date. When i go out on actual dates from a girl i can genuinely connect with, i turn off my "how should i close" mentality and focus on being myself. This girl is a 23, 9, tall, smart, charismatic and what some may call a perfect package. Needless to say we found solace in each other. I'm an affectionate person and when i show it, i really show it. We're talking intentional drunk texts, romantic yada yada yada lovey dovey stuff.

Here is the problem.
She works, i'm still studying. I get insecure when she gets hit on by financially successful men and meets new guys because i know what guys can be capable of. She tells me because she wants to be honest and because of my nature to control what i want and have, i decided to speed up. I tell her my secrets and each time i deliver a new secret, I put more emotional investment. Telling her one of my biggest one yet, I see her slowly slipping away. Avoiding my texts and keeping meets to a minimal. That was the straw that broke my back.

Coming from a position of heartache and tension, i tell her my analysis of whats going on, and she tells me she's getting pressured into it. She tells me her feelings that she does adore me but she feels that what i'm putting on her is something she can't handle when she has pressure from other things. So we talk and she leaves the situation of the relationship to me. I told her i want it, and i don't want her to be suffocating.

So from then on i've been going slow, texting her once in two days (unless she texts me) and doing my own thing. However, i think that time to go slow is expiring and i need my next move. I've been running AFC game on her but now its time to PUA it.

Other notes, I have slept with her, she answers but generally avoid questions that involve her sharing her emotions and secrets, and i really like this one.

How do i save this, Whats my game plan, your similar experiences and your thoughts about this relationship.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:26 pm 
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I forgot to mention : She and I are exclusive. This doesn't mean its not a relationship, but in the stage where it is where it is becoming one and is very new.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:41 pm 
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It's too fast for her, man.

You're moving faster than her and (i'm not sure what you mean by telling her secrets, but...) she's not ready for that.

Back off a bit. Slow down. Give her some space.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:42 pm 
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1. Don't describe yourself as "Advanced PUA" when you are clearly an AFC. In fact dont ever call yourself "advanced PUA" even when you get good at this, because it is the wrong mindset for learning. Never stop learning.

2. If you really have slept with that many women, this girl should just be a drop in the ocean for you. I suspect youre not as experienced as you think you are, or you'd be better equipped at dealing with the situation.

3. Everyone knows Tinder is a booty call app. The relationships which actually work out long term are rare.

4. You're really insecure and needy.

5. This girl was into you until you started getting all intense and serious. Back off, then back off some more. You're like a barnacle clinging to a rock.

6. I suggest you friend zone this girl and date new girls. Work on your neediness though, or you will fail with the next girl too. I strongly suspect you have fear of abandonment issues.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 7:32 pm 
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Posts: 159
So how much time have you spent just listening to her? Very little. She tells you she feels pressured and you respond by "speeding it up" - talking all about you, you, you. Sorry but she knows you only care about yourself/your aims. That's a great way to scare her off.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 7:46 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:17 pm
Posts: 5962
Location: Los Angeles
Quote:
1. Don't describe yourself as "Advanced PUA" when you are clearly an AFC. In fact dont ever call yourself "advanced PUA" even when you get good at this, because it is the wrong mindset for learning. Never stop learning.

2. If you really have slept with that many women, this girl should just be a drop in the ocean for you. I suspect youre not as experienced as you think you are, or you'd be better equipped at dealing with the situation.

3. Everyone knows Tinder is a booty call app. The relationships which actually work out long term are rare.

4. You're really insecure and needy.

5. This girl was into you until you started getting all intense and serious. Back off, then back off some more. You're like a barnacle clinging to a rock.

6. I suggest you friend zone this girl and date new girls. Work on your neediness though, or you will fail with the next girl too. I strongly suspect you have fear of abandonment issues.
^^^This

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 10:09 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2012 3:50 pm
Posts: 587
Yup. Hunter nailed this. When she calls on you, respond, treat her with respect and don't ignore her, but don't pursue her. Work on yourself in the meantime and when she comes around again try not to get insecure and needy.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 1:21 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2013 9:26 am
Posts: 7
Quote:
1. Don't describe yourself as "Advanced PUA" when you are clearly an AFC. In fact dont ever call yourself "advanced PUA" even when you get good at this, because it is the wrong mindset for learning. Never stop learning.

2. If you really have slept with that many women, this girl should just be a drop in the ocean for you. I suspect youre not as experienced as you think you are, or you'd be better equipped at dealing with the situation.

3. Everyone knows Tinder is a booty call app. The relationships which actually work out long term are rare.

4. You're really insecure and needy.

5. This girl was into you until you started getting all intense and serious. Back off, then back off some more. You're like a barnacle clinging to a rock.

6. I suggest you friend zone this girl and date new girls. Work on your neediness though, or you will fail with the next girl too. I strongly suspect you have fear of abandonment issues.
1. Mate, i specialise in 2-3 week fuck relationships before i move on to another girl. I've been doing this with girls of various social classes, status and ages but honestly this doesn't matter. It's nearing 3 months since I met this girl and now that my honeymoon period has closed, i'm trying to steer this relationship out of limbo

2. When you meet someone you find yourself very compatible with, you forget what you know and try to keep the relationship as pure and honest as possible. No matter where you meet her from. The moment you start pulling the tricks out of your bag, you slowly start losing respect for her. You know this

3. I do have insecurity and abandonment issues. Not even once needy. I deal with those two well but when you let her in and take off that armour, you show that side of you. I told her that i have abandonment issues. I let her in. I also realised that the emotions conveyed in my post were exaggerated.

4. My thoughts on the relationship; i did not respect myself. I did not put myself first in the relationship and i felt that i didn't have to be in the drivers seat. My respect for her is tremendous and that is my downfall in letting her take over the wheel. My lack in relationship knowledge is showing because of that my brain had constructed an idea of what an ideal one is. That is backfiring. However, this relationship is still saveable
Quote:
Yup. Hunter nailed this. When she calls on you, respond, treat her with respect and don't ignore her, but don't pursue her. Work on yourself in the meantime and when she comes around again try not to get insecure and needy.
5. I've been backing the fuck off for a good 2/3weeks now and doing my own thing. However, from the way i see it though, it's going to be approximately one week before either one of us is going to say something about the relationship. And that is going to be either make it or break it. i'm not gonna lie, friendzone looks quite real and i don't like where this is going.

So if you've been in my shoes before and understand the current predicament i'm in, let me know. I wanna know what you did that worked and i wanna know what you did that didn't work as well. If you're gonna tell me that this relationship is running its course, put it here. If you have a play though, that would be better.
Quote:
So how much time have you spent just listening to her? Very little. She tells you she feels pressured and you respond by "speeding it up" - talking all about you, you, you. Sorry but she knows you only care about yourself/your aims. That's a great way to scare her off.
I am ignoring you because this has no relation to my relationship. When i wrote "She tells me because she wants to be honest.." it was in reference in talking about the other men. She wanted the relationship to be honest and free to talk about things, and i did the same for her. Error on my part i believe, but still ignoring you because this is not constructive.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 1:38 am 
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The Grand Puba
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Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:17 pm
Posts: 5962
Location: Los Angeles
Quote:
Quote:
1. Don't describe yourself as "Advanced PUA" when you are clearly an AFC. In fact dont ever call yourself "advanced PUA" even when you get good at this, because it is the wrong mindset for learning. Never stop learning.

2. If you really have slept with that many women, this girl should just be a drop in the ocean for you. I suspect youre not as experienced as you think you are, or you'd be better equipped at dealing with the situation.

3. Everyone knows Tinder is a booty call app. The relationships which actually work out long term are rare.

4. You're really insecure and needy.

5. This girl was into you until you started getting all intense and serious. Back off, then back off some more. You're like a barnacle clinging to a rock.

6. I suggest you friend zone this girl and date new girls. Work on your neediness though, or you will fail with the next girl too. I strongly suspect you have fear of abandonment issues.
1. Mate, i specialise in 2-3 week fuck relationships before i move on to another girl. I've been doing this with girls of various social classes, status and ages but honestly this doesn't matter. It's nearing 3 months since I met this girl and now that my honeymoon period has closed, i'm trying to steer this relationship out of limbo

2. When you meet someone you find yourself very compatible with, you forget what you know and try to keep the relationship as pure and honest as possible. No matter where you meet her from. The moment you start pulling the tricks out of your bag, you slowly start losing respect for her. You know this

3. I do have insecurity and abandonment issues. Not even once needy. I deal with those two well but when you let her in and take off that armour, you show that side of you. I told her that i have abandonment issues. I let her in. I also realised that the emotions conveyed in my post were exaggerated.

4. My thoughts on the relationship; i did not respect myself. I did not put myself first in the relationship and i felt that i didn't have to be in the drivers seat. My respect for her is tremendous and that is my downfall in letting her take over the wheel. My lack in relationship knowledge is showing because of that my brain had constructed an idea of what an ideal one is. That is backfiring. However, this relationship is still saveable
Quote:
Yup. Hunter nailed this. When she calls on you, respond, treat her with respect and don't ignore her, but don't pursue her. Work on yourself in the meantime and when she comes around again try not to get insecure and needy.
5. I've been backing the fuck off for a good 2/3weeks now and doing my own thing. However, from the way i see it though, it's going to be approximately one week before either one of us is going to say something about the relationship. And that is going to be either make it or break it. i'm not gonna lie, friendzone looks quite real and i don't like where this is going.

So if you've been in my shoes before and understand the current predicament i'm in, let me know. I wanna know what you did that worked and i wanna know what you did that didn't work as well. If you're gonna tell me that this relationship is running its course, put it here. If you have a play though, that would be better.
Quote:
So how much time have you spent just listening to her? Very little. She tells you she feels pressured and you respond by "speeding it up" - talking all about you, you, you. Sorry but she knows you only care about yourself/your aims. That's a great way to scare her off.
I am ignoring you because this has no relation to my relationship. When i wrote "She tells me because she wants to be honest.." it was in reference in talking about the other men. She wanted the relationship to be honest and free to talk about things, and i did the same for her. Error on my part i believe, but still ignoring you because this is not constructive.
The problem is that you've accepted the role as the woman. You're emotional and soft. You're coming across as jealous, needy, and insecure. To fix it you must take back the role as man. Quit being emotional and insecure with her. If you speak about your emotions make sure they are positive emotions about her that is flattering. Quit projecting your weak and negative emotions onto her.

But as an Advanced PUA, you should not only know the rules...you should live by them regardless when you "meet someone you find yourself very compatible with". Why? You need to be the person that attracted her to you.

_________________
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 10:39 am 
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Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2014 10:35 am
Posts: 159
Quote:
I am ignoring you because this has no relation to my relationship. When i wrote "She tells me because she wants to be honest.." it was in reference in talking about the other men. She wanted the relationship to be honest and free to talk about things, and i did the same for her. Error on my part i believe, but still ignoring you because this is not constructive.
LOL whatever, friend. Hunter_Foxe gave you that real advice, but all you have are more excuses and justifications. You don't really want advice, you just want people to agree that you're some amazing pickup genius. Fine, okay, you are. You know everything, so carry on. :lol:


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 11:59 am 
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English Muffin
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Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:40 pm
Posts: 5689
You're such a chode.

Advanced pua...please, more like advanced AFC

What is your lay count?

In chode land, chodes think banging 10 average girls is 'many'

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 12:40 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2013 9:26 am
Posts: 7
Quote:
The problem is that you've accepted the role as the woman. You're emotional and soft. You're coming across as jealous, needy, and insecure. To fix it you must take back the role as man. Quit being emotional and insecure with her. If you speak about your emotions make sure they are positive emotions about her that is flattering. Quit projecting your weak and negative emotions onto her.

But as an Advanced PUA, you should not only know the rules...you should live by them regardless when you "meet someone you find yourself very compatible with". Why? You need to be the person that attracted her to you.
Legit. When you're overrun with emotion your judgment gets clouded. You hit it the nail right on the head. I was being a woman. That last line made me reflect on my relationship as a whole and i think this was what i needed. Cheers buddy


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 3:57 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2012 8:24 pm
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Location: Nottingham, UK
You have a sense of arrogance which belies your actual experience with women. You wonder why people are giving you a hard time? its because we cant help someone who is more concerned about saving face and protecting their image than actually improve their skills with women. If you want validation and constant re-assurance that you're a pimp playa, youve come to the wrong place. Go to bodybuilding.com forums and compare dick sizes and lay counts if thats all you care about.

I meet guys like you all the time, your situation is very normal. You are acting like your situation is totally new and none of us have been there before. We have all been there, we have all had one-itis and we've all failed countless more times than you have.

Remember you are on an anonymous forum. Nobody knows who you are, nobody knows what you look like, so you have no reputation to defend. Let go of the ego. We dont care if you are a virgin with a microscopically tiny penis, we're here to help whatever your situation. You've got one-itis, you are insecure and clingy. It doesn't matter whether you have fucked 1 or 1,000 girls before, the advice is still the same.

Back off, game other girls, let her chase you, deal with your insecurity and learn to read a girl's behaviour in future so you dont move too quickly with your next one-itis.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 4:00 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:17 pm
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Location: Toronto, Canada
Quote:
You have a sense of arrogance which belies your actual experience with women. You wonder why people are giving you a hard time? its because we cant help someone who is more concerned about saving face and protecting their image than actually improve their skills with women. If you want validation and constant re-assurance that you're a pimp playa, youve come to the wrong place. Go to bodybuilding.com forums and compare dick sizes and lay counts if thats all you care about.

I meet guys like you all the time, your situation is very normal. You are acting like your situation is totally new and none of us have been there before. We have all been there, we have all had one-itis and we've all failed countless more times than you have.

Remember you are on an anonymous forum. Nobody knows who you are, nobody knows what you look like, so you have no reputation to defend. Let go of the ego. We dont care if you are a virgin with a microscopically tiny penis, we're here to help whatever your situation. You've got one-itis, you are insecure and clingy. It doesn't matter whether you have fucked 1 or 1,000 girls before, the advice is still the same.

Back off, game other girls, let her chase you, deal with your insecurity and learn to read a girl's behaviour in future so you dont move too quickly with your next one-itis.

Image


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 7:25 pm 
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Posts: 7
Mate, its done. No beef. My situation is normal. Like you said, you've been through it, i'm going through it. My oneitis makes me annoyingly stubborn and i acted on emotion. I came in wanting constructive pieces to fix my solution and with you coming on and making a statement for what i am and belittling my current position? Fuck you. But you make a clear point. I'm not here to compare sizes. I'm here for the same reason why everyone else is. Lost. Thank you for your time and advice Hunter, i appreciate it. i really do


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