I need help with my plenty of fish profile?



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PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 2:49 am 
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So I've been on pof for about a month had chats here and there but chose to get look up some stuff and changed my profile some. I changed my headline to im kind of an asshole and have got some views.

My problem is my about me how do I come off as an asshole. Here my current about me any suggestions on how to switch it up to attract girls. My about me-> "Wow, I can't believe you're looking at my profile. This is such an honor! Well, let's start with "Hello!" Or should I say "Bonjour, Mademoiselle!" Frankly, I can't speak French to save my life, but I hope to learn it some day. So, what is there to learn about me. Or heck, what isn't there to learn?"

"Well, my name is Andrew, and as you can see, I try to be the most positive individual I can be. I love to meet new people, and I have many diverse interests. I'm self-employed, and love it because it helps me to step regularly out of my comfort zone. I have a learning disability, and I had a heart transplant when I was thirteen days old, but I refuse to let that come in the way of living my life as fully as possible."

"Anyway, what can I tell more about me? Well, to start with, I have an odd sense of humor. I'm up for most anything, and will be honest about it when I think I'm not ready for the challenge (yet). I love to volunteer, I like reading, and watching and playing sports. I also love to sing, even though I would probably faint if I had to perform in front of an audience. I have an intense desire to learn to cook, and would love to take cooking classes some day."

"Lately, I've also been attempting to take up yoga, mainly because of my bad leg, and to compensate for my lack of Flexibility. Helping others is probably my number one passion, and I would love to find someone who shares that interest."

"Retirement and financial security are very important to me, I will go far to reach these goals. My number one financial goal is to help my parents to retire. They did and do so much for me, and I want to do something back. After all, they worked hard for years raising me and my two siblings. Financial security is also important for me because of my health. I never want to be put in a situation that I have to choose between food or medicine. Also, I want my future children to be able to do all the things I was not capable of. Someday, I wish to be able to retire to either North Carolina, or Florida."

"I love to chill and watch sports (especially baseball), to read books or to go out. I've always wanted to have a go at BASE-jumping or skydiving, along with learning to play golf, or tennis, or fencing. Or why not all of them, just for the heck of it?"

"I do still live at home, but plan to acquire my own place soon."

"I'm looking for a woman who accepts me for who I am, and loves me for who I am. Someone caring and kindhearted. Someone who has a sense of humor, but can be serious when needed. I'm willing to get to know anyone who someway fits the bill, and I trust you are too."

Do not message me if you are a stripper, bartender, waitress, aspiring actress, Scorpio, or if you have implants....it never works.

"Congratulations on making it to the end! So, enough reading, and I would love to hear from you.

Also changed my first date to this and started getting a little bit more views.

First date: "You would take me out for burgers, then I would do all the things to you that the last guy was too much of a wuss to do. (:

So I'm getting there but need help with about me. I'm 21 I want to keep it short but cocky and playful but be honest and make it shorter so they aren't reading forever.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 4:00 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:17 pm
Posts: 3427
Location: Toronto, Canada
It's well written and half interesting.

I'd suggest it may need to be shorter. Removing the part about financial stability/security seems like the paragraph to eliminate IMO.

Personally, I'd take out anything related to your bad health.

It's who you are - I get that... but it's not something to advertise... It's like posting an ad for a car and saying what's wrong with it, physically.

This is an advertisement for you... not a disclaimer.


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