Alright...soooo, just by getting to know some guys on here-some online and a few personally, there's something I've noticed that holding them back.It help me back as well-

Most guys are exhausted with trying over and over again to quit their porn addiction, fix their relationship issues, start a business, or just get laid.

Most of the men who struggle with this have one thing in common: Resentment.

When you take stock of everything in your life and realize that you’ve fucked up, some men have a tendency to blame others. Blame women, blame feminism, blame society, blame the government, the system, America.

Resentment is your attempt to make your failure more digestible by blaming others. As a balm for failure, resentment is definitely a cure which is infinitely worse than the disease.

In fact, resentment is a mental disease among modern men. Some men, if they build up their resentment enough, feel that they could somehow prove that the perceived injustice is real and therefore absolve themselves of any responsibility.

Its unfortunate, but most men carry this resentful energy to forums and sites where they can collectively “prove” that some other circumstance is “definitely” causing “their” current situation in life. Basically, resentment is non acceptance of a situation that has already occurred.

Perhaps you took out thousands in students loans to get that worthless degree and now you find yourself working an unpromising job in retail; your loan a looming,perpetual dark cloud over your mediocre life. Now you hate on the government, the system, Obama.

The bottom line is that resentment is for losers.

You can never win because you goal of changing the past is impossible.

Feeling like a victim of injustice becomes a habit which makes you a victim. Victims see evidence of injustice everywhere. Perceiving injustice in the most innocent of situations leads to self pity. Self pity chips away at your self esteem. Poor self esteem makes you miserable. Now you’re officially a failure. Misery loves company and before you know it you have thousands of posts of bitching on some forum with other losers.

You are the cause of your own resentment and subsequent failure. As long as you are resentful, it is impossible for you to be an independent or self reliant man. The resentful man has given control of his life to others. Others should make him happy. Women should not be so complicated and indecisive,your manager should recognize you more, the government should forgive your student loans, CEOs should get paid less.

When you feel that life owes you appreciation, recognition, affection, and gratitude, you generate resentment when those debts are not paid up.

No one is responsible for your happiness or success, but YOU. You determine your fate. You determine your goals. Leave no room for resentment in your life.

Be Happy,

Chris

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www.quitporngetgirls.com

You bring up a great point, for anyone who is more interested in what ChrisHaven said, i highly reccamend reading, "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle

_________________
"There is no failure. Only feedback." ~Robert Allen

My most helpful mentors:
Much thanks too;
Eddie Fews
PEBBLE
R.C.

"You can never win because you goal of changing the past is impossible."

Beautiful line.

Back when I was losing, and I was in the middle of a self destruction spree. I remember thinking many nights, if only I could go back. Big waste of time.

I went through the 5 stages of grief dealing with my shitty past. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But once you accept it, your past dies quietly. Leaving you free to move on.

At that moment, once you go from failing to succeeding. Your story all of a sudden goes from being a shitty story to an inspiring one.

This is a good post, I would like to expand upon a few ideas.

“Resentment is your attempt to make your failure more digestible by blaming others. “

I would clarify that “Resentment taken to the extreme is your attempt to make your failure more digestible by blaming others.”

Humans have been given every emotion for a purpose. Even negative emotions such as fear or resentment are there for a reason. Balance is the key to all things and we ignore the negative at our own peril.

Imagine a person born without the ability to feel resentment. That person would either be:
a) a walking doormat, unable to avoid the people and situations that have intentionally caused him harm in the past
b) a total jerkoff, constantly using people for overarching selfish ends
c) both at the same time, an mess of incongruence

We also live in a world where dynamic forces shape the events that unfold. Things that happen to us are composed of internal and external components, with different situations with varying degrees of each. While most of what we do, we do to ourselves, it is also true that we are acted upon by the actions of others. Therefore becoming your own whipping boy simply by default is not appropriate. Reason and care must be taken to determine exactly how much we are at fault for our own failures. If I take out loans to go to college and then can only find work as a barista, that occurrence is the majority my fault, with other factors being external economic factors. This is a situation where you should use the resentment you feel to avoid debt and immature decisions. If I walk down the street and am assaulted and robbed, that occurrence is the vast majority the thug who assaulted me. That is a situation where I would not “acknowledge my failure” but rather place the blame where it truly belongs. You are right that people tend toward imbalance in blaming the external for their problems. The key is maturity, which allows you to actually look at things in an honest light.

So to clarify your post, and avoid the trap of the New Age seminar selling hucksters, we can see that it is important to relegate the past and resentment of those who have done us harm to their proper roles. They are: as a warning to adjust future behavior and relationships accordingly, and to avoid harming others to the point of making them resentful of us. Balance is a key to all things in life. Dwelling on the unchangeable past is very undesirable, so to is ignoring the past and burying all negative emotions by default.

Not taking 100% responsibility for your situation, even how women react to you.

Yes.

Man, you posted this at a really good time. I sometimes blame my parents for my passive personality because of how they raised me in my younger years (totally babied). If that's the case, fuck it. I can change, but it is MY responsibility and MY personality that has to change and no one will do it for me.

Great post. Wise words.

+1 for P.O.N. from Tolle