Just broke up with my gf because I felt she wasn't giving the level of attraction I wanted. We dated 2 weeks and went official for about 2 months. Her father died around 6 months ago and recently she's been feeling depressed. She was suicidal years ago because of her depression and I'm concerned about that. But, back to the topic, she's been pulling away for the past 2 weeks. She lied to me once and I was hurt that she did that. She moved to a new place on the first of this month, but whenever I mentioned going back to her place she shrugged it off. She never suggested going back to her place even once, so I felt she wasn't being honest about something. At one point she asked me to move in with her and I said ok. She was super ecstatic about it. Then when I was ready to move she started the whole getting distant and texting less. Less I love you and less I miss you. Today I didn't get one I love u when the day before I got many. We were supposed to go out for a date today and I went to pick her up when she was supposed to get off, 7pm. She actually got off at 6pm and it just so happened that I was at a nearby coffee shop at the time. She texted me about 15mins before she got off and said she had to go to her grandmother's for some reason. I didn't ask. I met up w/ her when she got off at 6pm. When I saw her I gave her a compliment in her new hairstyle and spun her around to take a quick look at the rest of her. She didn't e en try to kiss me which further enforced the conclusion that she was pulling back.... It could have been she was sensing that something was wrong, but still... I then told her what was on my mind . and broke it off and told her I still loved her... It was kinda fucked up since the day before I told her as long as she still wanted me that I would never let her go.... She said she never wanted me to let her go. She immediately de-friended me off Facebook right after we parted.

The way she was acting was definitely not congruent with what she was saying. So I broke it off. Did I fuck up majorly? Whenever we were together things seemed fine except lately instead of her attraction being a 9 or 10 it's been a 6 or 7 at best. Over text and phone it was more noticeable that she wasn't as attracted. I've been following Corey Waynes advise as best as possible from his 3% man book, but I'm new to all this... Should I just move on? She was amazing when we were together, but things weren't so great lately. Trust issues and her pulling away really started to affect me. I think I did the right thing, but I feel totally differently... What should I do? I feel this is a critical point. Fucking loved this girl to death.

I'll also say she mentioned something about being friends and I told her that I didn't want that. I wanted all of her or nothing. This was the text I sent her 10mins after we broke up:

Whatever happens u were always my true first love. You wanted me to never let go and I wouldn't have, but our communication just wasn't where it should have been. Unfortunately part of loving u is knowing when/if to let go. I wanted all of u and I feel I only got half. Whoever the next lucky guy is that captures ur heart, be open and honest with him if he's worth it. My plans haven't changed, I'm moving out of Cali. Take care of yourself.


She's moving from Cali at the end of this month because she felt depressed out here. I was prepared to move to be with her(which wouldn't have changed my life plans). We talked about this 3 days ago and she said she absolutely wanted me to come with her via text. I'd have moved at the end of the year.

Oh yuck. LOL - sorry dude, but c'mon. This is a PUA forum... That note belongs on a soap opera.

Here's what I think (I'm a PUA who's in a relationship right now, BTW) - if the only reason you 'let her go' was because she dialed back her affection level to a 6 or a 7 then you're in for a lifetime of dumping chicks for no reason at all.

They're women. They're hormonal. They're bat shit crazy. They love drama. They have mood swings... Not to mention her father recently died.

Have you lost a parent? You don't get over it in 6 months.

All women are like this. If you find one that isn't, then you're dating a man, or she's gay.

I'm lucky if I hear 'I love you' from my girl once a month - but I know she does... Do you need to be constantly told that you're loved? That's really quite a beta mindset... requiring constant reassurance. It's also a weak excuse to dump a girl you are otherwise happy with.

Why wouldn't you just ask her what's up? Or ask to discuss the recent changes in attitude/mood? That's what adult couples do. I would have suggested that course of action instead of a breakup...

I broke off because she lied, she wasn't being honest, and I wasn't going to see her for months. If we didn't have strong communication and trust now, then the Ltr would be hell.

That may be a contributing factor... but the very first sentence in your post would indicate you broke it off for another reason:
What'd she lie about? I'm not trying to give you a hard time here - I'm genuinely trying to help you...

She actually broke up with me early last week. At this time I didn't know she had planned on moving. She did it via fb messenger. I let her know we needed to talk face to face and asked her what time she got off work. She said 9pm and I said I'd be there. She told me not to come, but I told her I'd be there anyway. I went. Long story short, she was never at work and had quit the job the day before. I only found out when I finally was able to get her to see me after she was drinking with a co-worker and her co-workers bf. We made up because she says she still loved me but she was afraid to tell me she was moving and she had depression. I didn't mind the depression thing happening we could work through that, but the lie was the first strike.

The lack of communication is the second strike. I know she likes to drink and I think she may be ashamed that she drinks, so she doesn't tell me. She is super affectionate when drunk, doesn't know her limit, and blanks out at times. It worries me and I told her before. She's gone out before and never texted a word to me about it till maybe after the fact. I went out w/ some friends to go get hammered and she saw what I was doing on fb and was damn near ready to cut my ballz off if I hadn't contacted her and let her know I was going out.... Or so she said. Funny thing is some times she'd be just about off work and contact me, we'd text or talk for a few mins, then she'd just dissappear. I would try to contact her back once or twice then just say to myself, fuck it. I wouldn't hear from her till late the next day saying she got drunk somewhere w/ someone(usually family or coworkers). Cutting ur bf off midtalk is disrespectful, but I overlooked it for a while. Thinking it was just something that women do. My sister does it so I figured whatever.

Also on communication, it felt like having to move a mountain to get her to open up and communicate with me sometimes. Usually when we were together we just enjoyed each others presence and probably fucked once a week. We only saw each other twice a week, but the last 2 weeks, everything was going downhill. No sex, lying, lack of communication, all of which I tried talking to her about at one time or another... Except the sex, didn't mention that.

Third strike was trust. I mean hell, she just moved out, didn't want her bf to help her move(I was at work during the day, but was free that evening), got help from some guy coworkers, didn't call/text to let me know if everything was moved ok till later the next day (even though I called/texted to see how things went), never invited me over.... I had absolutely no clue where she lived, yet some random coworker she knows, knows where she lives. If I couldn't trust her enough to open up to me, or let me know what happened during her day... good or bad(not everyday, but sometimes), or trust her drinking habits, or know even a little how her depression was affecting her(though things are tricky with this one), how could I trust her being miles away.


And now that I re-read all this, I'm starting to think I made a decent decision. I still care for and love her, but I think my eyes r a bit more open.

Well this is a very different angle than your first post.

The OP made it sound like she just stopped communicating that she loved you so you broke it off... you should have mentioned the other issues. Much easier to help you.

She's got some issues all right - and you've got some valid concerns. The lying... OK, I can sorta see why she would be afraid to tell you, but dumping you over FB messenger is pretty lame.

The transition for you may be tough initially, but I really think you'll be better off without this level of drama in your life... If you find yourself getting really hung up on her - cut her out... unfriend her, block her, throw everything away and 'fresh start' your dating life...

Best way to get over her - get your ass on Tinder, and start going out with friends. Date other girls. Hotter girls...

Ya, I know I need to do this or it'll destroy me. She already de-friended me, so that's taken care of. I'll reach out to some old flings and plan on creating new ones soon. Gonna put more focus on work and making the info in 3% man a part of my being. Anything to get my mind off this mess and regain my center as an alpha. First loves and first girlfriends are amazing, but first breakups can be fucking devastating.

Thanks a lot for responding to my issue. If u hadn't I'd probably end up going in circles and never looking at the situation for what it was. Time to enjoy life again~

Have you ever considered writing scripts for heartwrenching dramas...I mean that in a good way, I'd watch your shows.

But seriously, the girl is depressed, so right now she can't see anyone but herself. There isn't much you can do. Her behavior will be erratic and she won't care about how her actions affect you. Unless you like playing the part of the jilted nice guy, you'll forget about being with her until she realizes that there are other people in the world too.