How to ask a girl out?



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 Post subject: How to ask a girl out?
PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:51 pm 
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Hello fellow PUA. This is my first post here.

Cutting to the chase, how do you ask a girl out? A sure way where the girl would not reject you at all.
I've been trying so hard with newbies method but it doesn't seem to work with those popular girls. They have high expectations. Really be cool if you guys share some tips too! Thanks you so much


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 2:21 pm 
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If there was a sure fire way to ask a girl out where she couldn't possibly reject you don't you think every guy on earth would know about it?

First step for you, get over the fear of rejection. It's not a big deal. Every guy who approaches girls on a regular basis has been rejected more times than he can count. Its just part of it.

Other than that you need to specify where you are meeting these "popular" girls. Are you in highschool? College? The streets, a club?


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 2:25 pm 
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Quote:
If there was a sure fire way to ask a girl out where she couldn't possibly reject you don't you think every guy on earth would know about it?

First step for you, get over the fear of rejection. It's not a big deal. Every guy who approaches girls on a regular basis has been rejected more times than he can count. Its just part of it.

Other than that you need to specify where you are meeting these "popular" girls. Are you in highschool? College? The streets, a club?
It's in high school. Yes I'm still in the process of getting over the fear of rejection


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 2:31 pm 
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Your best bet is to ask without making it sound like a date. Be casual.

Hey - I'm grabbing a coffee, want to come? (If you weren't in high school I'd suggest a beer instead)...

Don't use the word "date"


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 4:13 pm 
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+1 for the "never ask for a date" concept.

In highschool you should start off with talking to anyone and everyone. Find interests and be the guy who fits in to every social group. Be chatty, be fun be outgoing.

When you have chatted up a girl and are interested just throw in "I'm going to blank, you should tag along." or "I wanna do blank, you should tag along, give me your number and I'll text you when I'm going"

Never make it a big deal. Flirt and tease. Figure out ways to get touchy feely with her that you are comfortable with. I like to comment on a piece of jewelry and as I'm commenting I'll get in close and inspect it. If it's a necklace I'll grab the biggest part and inspect it, if it's a bracelet or a ring I'll grab her hand and look at it the raise it up and act like I'm really inspecting it to a goofy degree which usually elicits a pretty good laugh out of her. If it's huge fake costume jewelry (common when I was in highschool, don't know now) I'd ask if it was real, and when she says no I joke "too bad I was looking for a rich girl to mooch off of and take care of me." with a huge grin.

Basically it's all about being fun and being the guy that girl wants to hang out with and finds interesting. Walking up to a girl with a box of chocolates and roses and begging her to go to prom isn't interesting in the least. Flirting, teasing that is what will gain interest.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 4:41 pm 
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Thank you for your advices. I really appreciate it a lot.

So, Yeap. I've been in contact with this girl for a while. Yesterday, she began making contact with me so I'm expecting that she's comfortable with me now. So with your advice, I just asked her out today. She gave me a maybe answer. She said she don't want other people to have a wrong mindset about us going out together. So I told her that I will ask her again on Monday. I have a bad feeling about this


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 5:10 pm 
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On a high point.

'How about a drink sometime?'

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 5:14 pm 
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Quote:
Thank you for your advices. I really appreciate it a lot.

So, Yeap. I've been in contact with this girl for a while. Yesterday, she began making contact with me so I'm expecting that she's comfortable with me now. So with your advice, I just asked her out today. She gave me a maybe answer. She said she don't want other people to have a wrong mindset about us going out together. So I told her that I will ask her again on Monday. I have a bad feeling about this

Maybe is fucking horrible. Did you ask with a specific date and time? If so, then maybe doesn't work... Did you do it in person?


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 6:32 pm 
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Quote:
Thank you for your advices. I really appreciate it a lot.

So, Yeap. I've been in contact with this girl for a while. Yesterday, she began making contact with me so I'm expecting that she's comfortable with me now. So with your advice, I just asked her out today. She gave me a maybe answer. She said she don't want other people to have a wrong mindset about us going out together. So I told her that I will ask her again on Monday. I have a bad feeling about this
Not a good answer at all.

But, don't get worked up over it. Every guy on earth has gotten a maybe or a no in his life. No worries.

When she says "I'm worried what others will think" it is not your place to go "i understand, I'll ask again later". It's your place to snap her back in to reality. A response like "whoa, I said lets hang out, I didn't say lets grow old and have kids". All light hearted and fun. You could also say something like "It's alot more fun to not care what others think..." Again all of this is very fun and teasing. You have to be grinning from ear to ear and playful.

Also did you ask her out without saying date? As in did you say "he I'm going here, tag along." ? Or did you say "I'd like to take you out on a date." ?


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 8:31 pm 
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there is always going to be a rejection rate no matter how you look at it or she may flake you. believe me no one wants to get rejected or flaked on

you shouldnt think of it as asking her out so much- find something in common and go do it together, that would be a low rejection rate! if she does something she likes doing why would she blow you off?

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2014 2:47 am 
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Me: wanna go out sometime next week?
Her: (laughing emoticon) not sure
Me: Oh, uuuh.. I not sure also. Actually, i didn't expect you to say yes, so i didn't really plan that far ahead.
Her: sorry about that. Don't want people to think wrongly
Me: nono. Didn't we made it clear no dating. Just hanging around.
Her. But we walk home already. A lot off people like...
Me: I get you. Neither do I want that. Without people knowing?
Her: -laughing emoticon-
Me: just studying and maybe movie
Her: -laughing emoticon-

I'm pretty sure I'm friendzoned from this point onwards

Me: how about next week Thursday?
Her: let me think about it
Me: cool. I will ask you again on Monday

Yeap. So I tried following every step I could think off. Like no dating sentence as well as asking her 4 days prior to going out.

I was going to do it in person but this junior of me interrupt our message and ruin the entire convo. As soon as I'm done talking to him, she left. But she message me afterwards saying you can message me about it later. Should I call her on Monday or text?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2014 5:11 am 
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Something you have to remember is getting good with girls is a long-term process, so take everything as a reference experience that is leading towards your goals. Keep your focus on the bigger picture, and not tiny details which can misguide your focus and cause more frustration. You can't succeed without failure, and it takes a while to learn how attraction really works - girls wont reward you for simply being nice and making an effort. But of course, we all have to start somewhere.

As for this particularly girl, burn it to the ground - keep trying every possible angle until you get a "hard no". You don't want to become overly pushy or make her feel weird about you (or the situation), but you have to persist a bit sometimes. If her objection is worrying about other people's opinions, you need to overcome this first. Then deal with other obstacles as they arise.

Also, prize mentality and abundance mentality should be two things you're trying to cultivate, so you don't get too caught up in trying to make it "work" with one girl, with this particular one or any others in the future. Especially since you're young... plenty of time to understand yourself, the world, and realise you have lots of options out there in the wider world. I didn't have any women in my life until FIVE YEARS after leaving high school, so you've got a good head-start on me!

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2014 5:57 am 
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Quote:
Something you have to remember is getting good with girls is a long-term process, so take everything as a reference experience that is leading towards your goals. Keep your focus on the bigger picture, and not tiny details which can misguide your focus and cause more frustration. You can't succeed without failure, and it takes a while to learn how attraction really works - girls wont reward you for simply being nice and making an effort. But of course, we all have to start somewhere.

As for this particularly girl, burn it to the ground - keep trying every possible angle until you get a "hard no". You don't want to become overly pushy or make her feel weird about you (or the situation), but you have to persist a bit sometimes. If her objection is worrying about other people's opinions, you need to overcome this first. Then deal with other obstacles as they arise.

Also, prize mentality and abundance mentality should be two things you're trying to cultivate, so you don't get too caught up in trying to make it "work" with one girl, with this particular one or any others in the future. Especially since you're young... plenty of time to understand yourself, the world, and realise you have lots of options out there in the wider world. I didn't have any women in my life until FIVE YEARS after leaving high school, so you've got a good head-start on me!
Thank you for your advice. It really have me a lot of thinking to do. The thing I don't understand is the angles. What type of angles is recommended. If this doesn't go well, at least I will be able to learn from my mistakes


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 05, 2014 1:43 pm 
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Quote:
Me: wanna go out sometime next week?
Her: (laughing emoticon) not sure
Me: Oh, uuuh.. I not sure also. Actually, i didn't expect you to say yes, so i didn't really plan that far ahead.
Her: sorry about that. Don't want people to think wrongly
Me: nono. Didn't we made it clear no dating. Just hanging around.
Her. But we walk home already. A lot off people like...
Me: I get you. Neither do I want that. Without people knowing?
Her: -laughing emoticon-
Me: just studying and maybe movie
Her: -laughing emoticon-

I'm pretty sure I'm friendzoned from this point onwards

Me: how about next week Thursday?
Her: let me think about it
Me: cool. I will ask you again on Monday

Yeap. So I tried following every step I could think off. Like no dating sentence as well as asking her 4 days prior to going out.

I was going to do it in person but this junior of me interrupt our message and ruin the entire convo. As soon as I'm done talking to him, she left. But she message me afterwards saying you can message me about it later. Should I call her on Monday or text?
Always try to do this shit in person.

Just keep in mind for next time...

Don't say "do you wanna go out some time?". You give specifics. "I am going to a new coffee place tomorrow, keep me company." Don't make it a request make it a command.

When she says not sure, you're response is terrible. You're acting like your guilty and sorry for daring to ask her out. Fuck that. Say something like "why are some girls so indecisive?" or "Don't lie and say you have better things to do". Of course all of this should be said in a funny manner with confidence.

Don't ever say "oh no, no dating or anything". You're friend zoning yourself. If she says she's worried what others will think you say something like "Wow, quit thinking ahead that far. I don't want you to marry me. I want some coffee."

If she's still extremely resistant past all this it's because she's just not interested. Move on to the next girl.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:38 pm 
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Yeah, the ONLY time I ask a girl out over text is if I'm doing so *right now*. Usually like
Me: "Yo, what's up?"
Her: "Nothing. Doing X"
Me: "I'm headed out to Y in about an hour. You should join me"

And I never do that for a girl I see on a regular basis the first time. You have classes with her, so this should have been done in person.

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