I've been seeing this girl over a few months (originally tried to set stuff up faster (i.e. see her each week or something) but she had stuff going on. Anyway, I'm no longer that eager but still.

Seen her 3 times:
First was drinks and then we had dinner (made out, felt her up)
Second was ice skating and drinks (made out more, felt her up even more)
Third was dinner and then drinks (less making out, less feeling)

I tried to go back to hers on 2nd date 'to watch a movie' but she wasn't up for it. Says things are too public when I make out with her. Said 'good things come to those who wait'. So I take it we'd have sex/progress at some point but I'm not used to such a long, drawn out affair. It's been 3 dates and not even 3 quick dates. Anyone have any suggestions? I wouldn't mind this girl as my girlfriend but time and time again do I read/hear you need to make the relationship sexual and have sex first

Cheers

You don't "need" to do anything. It seems as though you've made it sexual to this point and keep a flirty vibe going. She doesn't see you in the friendzone as far as I can tell. Just have fun with her, get her out to a party or some energetic setting and whisper some kinky shit to her man. Become a sexual threat at this point or become a memory.

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Thanks dude

So your suggestion is to get her out to a party/club ?

To show her that you are into being seen out with her. If you are looking for a relationship, that is. From what you wrote, it seems like she is either playing you and has no intention of ever giving it up or wants to ensure you are into her for more than sex. Show her some fun, if she denies all advances then you know where you stand. Be up front and tell her whatsup, bud.

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Cheers for the advice

I think it's the latter, as she always insists on paying her fair share on dates, so don't see what she'd be getting out of leading me on. You think there's nothing wrong with telling her I want to see her more then? It's basically been once a month since I met her in June, but I'm wary of seeming needy (omg you don't text me enough, I want to see you every day, etc)

Neediness comes from a place of low self-esteem. Most girls actually want you to be really into them. But that want that to be coming from a strong point. IE "I have a lot of options, and you're at the top! You're cool, and special to me and I really like you." Not "OMG! I can't possibly do better than you my goddess!".

I don't recall who said this, but I think it's a great quote. "Be wanty, not needy". Wanting a girl is good. And aside from the ones with serious mental issues, is not harmful for ending up with her at all. You OUGHT to want this girl. If you don't, you should be moving on to someone else. There is nothing wrong with wanting a girl. There is a whole lot wrong with needing her.

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RSDTyler

Thanks Vers. I guess frame makes all the difference, it sounds good when you phrase it/frame it like that.

Decided to send this:
Hey let's see each other again soon. I've seen you like once a month since I met you and I'd prefer more

That should be fine. Instead of coming outright and saying it like that, I'd probably just have created more opportunities to see each other more than once a month.

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No reply and it's been a couple of days. Ah well at least I know where I stand

Prolly for the best. I went out today and met more women

You do realize that things like this are best done in person, rather than over text?

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RSDTyler

To be honest I didn't lol. Now I know for next time though. I didn't wanna wait another month to see her again, but as playboi said maybe I could have just asked her to something soon. Oh well, she is a lot of work for someone I've seen 3 times, happy to move on and learn from it

do you have your own place?

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Well you should have met her more often and tried to talk to her more. Make her feel like you like her very much and are always there for her so that she trusts you more. Don't always try to make out with her instead try to be funny and just chill around once or two then try to take the big step so that she knows you are not so needy and dying for sex.
I hope it helps...