Hi, I'm James, I'm 29 and live in England. I suffer from a severe lack of self-esteem and I'm completely useless at approaching women in social situations. I've been using dating websites for the past 3 years, and have become good at starting conversations online, however, my actual success rate isn't great; I've met over 30 women through online dating, but have only slept with 2 (in 3 years!). It's rare that I get a second date, and when I do I always end up in the friend-zone for being too nice! I've realised that I need to quit online dating and get out into the real world and meet people, as spending all my time in front of my computer is literally getting me nowhere (and making me worse at speaking to people in real life)! So here I am... open and honest about my situation, and willing to learn. Any help and advice would be much appreciated! Cheers.

Go out, sit at a bar, and talk to some people. Don't worry about dating or pickup. Just get used to being comfortable in a social situations.

I had the same problem you did: you can talk online, but in real life you are a social retard. No judgment, bro. If you don't get out much then being on a date is way too much pressure. Stay of the computer for now until you've done a little work. Otherwise you'll just frustrate yourself and the girls. Spend time in bars socializing so that you are comfortable, then if you want to date online, when you meet a girl at a bar you'll feel at home.

Thanks for the advice - I know that's what I need to do, but it's taking the first steps that will be the hardest. My main problem is that I don't get out much - I only have a small group of friends, and most of them are in relationships so we don't go out that often to clubs/bars anymore.

My hobbies do not allow me to interact with women either; I go out to watch football (soccer) with my Dad, and I play football with a group of guys one night each week. I also go running, but mainly do this alone. And there aren't many women at my workplace.

Can anyone suggest situations where I could meet women. Or shall I just start going out to bars on my own?

Just start going out. Whatever else you do, doesn't matter. Going out will help you get calmer and more comfortable. Talk to staff and people at the bar. Take it easy if it's hard. It gets easier.

I'm going to write a guide on going out alone. I just started doing it because I didn't know it was uncommon. Lol.

Welcome to the boards mate! Mastermind has got the right idea. Just get yourself comfortable about being out in the world. The more often you go out and even to the same places, the more comfortable you will be in those places by the mere exposure effect. Soon it will be like gaming in your house! Socialize with everybody, the staff, guys, girls, whatever! Once you get comfortable with that, you can start building attraction through breaks in rapport (if you haven't already naturally done this by socializing a lot!) and eliciting investment through qualification.

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