Hey Guys,


I was hoping to get some advice on what to say when me and my gf break up so she will want me back before too long. We have known each other for over a year as we worked together, she wasn't single when we met but became single shortly after and has since had a secret attraction towards me that I didn't find out about until I was about to leave the place of work and move to another job. But basically we started seeing each other on weekends outside of work and spending time together.

Everything was going great, so great that she got sick of waiting and asked me to be her boyfriend. But after about a month together her interest has started to drift a bit, I suspect this is due to me overplaying the nice boyfriend role a bit too long despite that not even being who I was.

A little about us:
I am a 25 y/o male with;
-a decent job
-decent career prospects
-University education
-Good Body
-Good looks
-Shorter than the average standing at 5'7" or 5'8"
-Sound mental health

She is a 20 y/o female
-Very attractive looks and body
-Very Intelligent
-5'4" or 5'5"
-Nice/Caring
-Daddy Issues
-Model
-Professional Fire Dancer
-Severe Depression/social anxiety/Fibromyalgia
-Constant back/stomach pain
-Took a year off work due to depression
-Very low self esteem


So yeah, I am nothing special and neither is she really when you weigh up her baggage against her looks. But for some weird reason I really like this girl. However, the last two weeks have been rocky with her and her depression (I suspect) but last weekend she came out and said that she wasn't sure if we were compatible long-term and that the spark wasn't there.

Now I can't help but feel that if I had not treated her nicely and treated her like a piece of meat (like all her ex boyfriends) then she would have stayed very interested and into me. Since she has daddy issues, mental problems, and low self esteem she wants/expects to be treated like just a piece of arm candy. Now I can do that but I thought I would have a better chance with her if I differentiated myself from the rest of the guys she has been with and actually treat her nicely. I am the first guy that her parents haven't dissaproved of haha.


But basically my question is this, as I know the breakup is coming and I want to meet her over it. How can I play this to make her think she may have made a mistake and want me back before too long.

I have been thinking of playing it something like this;
-Accept the breakup and let her know I think its a good idea (she will probably not expect that)
-Tell her I couldn't relax and be myself due to her non communicating and how she acts when upset. (Relating to long-term issue and spark)
-Tell her I am not usually that nice, and that I am more of a jerk. (Relating to long-term issue and spark)
-Thank her for the great times and all the help she gave me and that I enjoyed it all (make her think back towards the weeks when she was really into me)

I basically am trying to play the whole 'girls want what they cant have' card. If she isn't sure that I am going to be there for her then she may think twice about breaking up.

All of her ex boyfriends have cheated on her and not really cared for her too much, I suspect that once they get to know her they all don't think of her as wife/long-term material so they just keep her on the side for a while. So with that being said I feel the chance of her thinking of me at a later date can be quite good as I obviously haven't cheated on her or treated her badly.

So you want the chance open to get a chick that other guys won't take?

She gets hit on by guys everywhere we go, she turns heads. It's just unfortunate that once guys know the baggage they don't stick around very often?

Does anyone else have any input?

No what am saying is you've said this girl is not gf material and other guys don't see her as such. So why see her as such?

Because im attracted to crazy/damaged girls I guess... I dont know why I want her so much, its weird but yeah I dont want to lose her forever.

Game more chicks.

"Official" break up talks are retarded. Just wean her off of you.

And you have to treat her like shit if you want to keep her. Just look at her history. That tells you what she wants.

_________________
Chris
Dating Strategist
https://structureofdating.com/

This is a new one.

You're pre-emptively coming up with a breakup strategy before she even breaks up with you?

How about you fix what you already have before it breaks if she's your girlfriend and you want her to remain that way?

I'm actually In the same boat as you. It's funny..maybe were dating the same girl and she's playing the both of us.

Just kidding.

I know what you mean about liking crazy girls. It's a thrill and an emotional rollercoaster and the sex is awesome when they're willing to do some crazy shit in bed. And the emotions grow stronger because you feel like you must be captain save a hoe to cure this girl from her own mental problems.

I've come to realize that it's not worth it to grieve over someone who is tied up in their own depressed mind. She needs to learn to love herself before showing love to anyone else - so that's red flag #1 - her self esteem issues.

Other men not wanting her because of her attitude is red flag #2.

If your breaking up with her to get her back, I think that your digging yourself a deeper hole. And doing it for the wrong reason. The thought of even having to break up wih her is red flag #3.

Break up wih her because you have self respect - don't get stuck in a cycle of toxicity. If not, then just play it cool and be less available. Try this - don't pickup her calls all the time anymore. And cut your plans with her in half and give her some space.

It's harder said than done. I know. But the best thing you can do is go out with friends, talk to other girls and get your mind off of that loop hole with her. You may realize a thing or two when you look outside the window and see other people who are worthy of going out with. Rebuild your frame and inner game to gravitate towards healthier chics. This alone will bring her back before you know it.