Hey guys here's what's up.

Here's the back story a couple years ago I was dating a girl I really liked while we were dating I had to get some bloodwork done it didn't come back clear there was a chance it was a blood cancer thankfully it wasn't. I had to go through more tests then a month long waiting period. During that time the girl I was dating dumped me pretty hard. I took it badly got needy I plain and simply couldn't handle my situation. The whole thing was pretty traumatizing, but I bounced back from it.

However here is the problem I have I go out to clubs parties what not meet girls escalation everything is spot on because I don't care if I see them again, but when I meet a girl I'm interested in pursuing a relationship with I'm fearful because of what I went through before which causes me to freeze up when I should escalate basically freeze up when I should be doing all the things that would keep me out of the friend zone. Specific example: I had a boxing fight I brought this girl that I recently realized I had feelings for I won my fight she comes into the locker room gives me a huge hug I was totally on cloud 9 feelings of NRE plus winning my fight NRE maybe a little premature, but I've dated this girl for a while. Then a guy comes back to talk to me and was like he's a tough guy is this your man? She like he's a friend. And all of a sudden those good feelings were gone it was pretty crushing.

However a wise person told me don't interperet signals create them. So later through the night I ramped my escalation up because I didn't feel I was friend zoned just a feeling I got. My escaltion kino was good we had a good time when I dropped her off she gave me a huge hug had her head buried in my chest so I brushed her hair away and kissed her forehead she seemed to light up and was talking in a really seductive voice calling me babe what not. Only problem is I dropped her off at work so I couldn't push for anything more than that.

Now the thing is I didn't really even know I had feelings for this girl until now. I'd like to pursue a relationship, but after that experience I'm a total pussy when it comes to escalating with a girl I'm interested in. I'm scared to escalate, I'm scared of pursuing a relationship, I'm scared of what happened before happening again, but I just went for it last night.

I know this is a long winded post, but if anyone has any advice they can offer to help me get past this and what I should to next to hopefully keep my ass out of the friend zone if I'm not already there I'd appreciate it! Thanks a lot!!

Hey man, don't let that "tough" breakup get to you. If you let that affect you, you won't ever be able to bounce back from that and get what you want from life. That girl really liked you and you could have kissed her when you were dropping her off. Set up a Day 2 ASAP and start gaming her normally and escalate for the full close.

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Hey Gunfighter28 -

Your situation is a lot like mine was about 8-9 yrs ago. You're totally fine; happy-go-lucky and an absolute smooth flirt getting every number in sight.... Until it matters.

I would psych myself out if I actually met a girl I liked... Feelings of "but I like this one... what if I fuck it up? What if shit doesn't work out?" Several times I also did fuck it up - went overboard or got needy or whatever... and shit didn't work out - but.... in walks another woman - always... A few weeks later you'll meet someone else - abundance really takes care of things sometimes.

For me, these feelings never really went away, but you learn to process situations differently and be more mature about them. Take a step back and count to 10 before reacting to shit like the guy in the locker room... Maybe he was just a friend. Besides who gives a fuck who he is...

Think about what advice you'd give to someone here (and your advice is usually pretty decent...) - it keeps you from being needy if you think to yourself "if I were to tell the forum (or a friend or whatever) about this situation exactly, would they call me a needy bitch?"

Thanks for the advice guys! I have and abundace right now I've even let a few go that I care about just to get stronger I guess you'd. Say. The locker room situation was she came up gave me a huge hug and another guy came up and was like he's a tough guy asked her if I was her man she said I was a friend that hurt, but I also think it was just a natural fallback so I don't feel too bad about it. Afterward she was like I can't believe you did that ( I took the fight on an hour notice) you're crazy!! Afterward we went out for dinner as I was escalating I looked at her necklace it had religious signifigance. We talked a bit about that and her church she asked me if I got to church I told her how a friend invited me out to this production at a church during the time was waiting for my tests to come back. That lead into me telling her about the test situation she was like WOW you are tough!! After that I quick changed the subject to downbeat for me she was like its ok I'm glad you told me that.

So I'm hoping if I ramp up my escalation put the other shit out of my mind I can still make it happen.

You have to get it through your head that there's amazing opportunity ahead of you.

Don't worry about fucking up... you're more skilled than 97% of men out there.. if shit goes wrong it's her loss not yours.


I've been through my own horrible break-up (we all have probably) and I noticed that I couldn't move on until I personally forgave my EX and even apologized for the wrong i've done (I was horribly insecure back when we dated)

by forgiving her and getting closure I was able to fully move on and get through my fears.

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Thanks for the advice brother I appreciate it! I found closure with that girl how it went is about a year and 1/2 later I still had her on fb I shot her a msg with no intent motives or expected outcome behind it. She saw it didn't reply I gave it a couple days no reply and I felt great because I had closure that right there told me we were never gonna talk again and that's all I needed I blocked and deleted her afterward I felt great.

Now with this girl I've got my head on straight got my shit together I was doubting my own skill set that led me to where I'm at now. I tried to set up a drink date for tomorrow night with a slight sexual undertone she'll pick up on. She's working then leaving for aruba for 2 weeks. So I sent what I call a seed planting text now I'm gonna focus on my other girls while she is gone get my aire of invincibility back about me. I personally don't like relying on canned material, but I used Gamblers friend zone destroyer on a girl that literally went from hating me to seeing me as a friend to inviting me to her place for drinks tonight. So if I find myself in the friend zone that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna own this shit!

Just a slight mentality switch is needed.

1) Let the woman introduce the idea of being in a monogamous relationship. A woman wants to tie one of the good men down; so if she likes you, she will make a point to continue bringing up where this relationship is going. When you begin wanting a relationship they begin to wonder why. What is it that you want from a relationship that you aren't getting from being with a girl without one? You're still having sex, going on dates, cuddling etc. What don't you have?

I began to understand this a while ago, so I made a deal with myself that I was going to be so awesome that the women would be asking me for my number. I'm not going into the interaction to gain anything. I'm just going to be extraordinary enough to the point where they make sure they see me again. Even if I was picking up women on Facebook, POF, etc.. I would be trying to get there number so I could seduce them and sleep with them. But it was a battle and then I stopped. I decided that I'm going to be so amazing that these women are going to ask me for my number. If it takes long; it means I have to develop my amazing-ness. That mentality will turn you into a master in the long run.

Relationship work the same way. When you're amazing enough, women will do whatever they can to make sure they are the only ones that can enjoy you. Let her tie you down; her nature already leads her to be tied to you when she content with what you're providing.

Much respect to you gun. You're diligent about improving. Thats always great to see.

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Thanks man I appreciate that!

The funny thing is when I'm in my "invincible" state I'm on fire there isn't a girl on the street in the bar club that I can't pull, but that's when I don't care as soon as I'm interested in a girl I lose that invincibilty slowly over time. I think this one can be saved I just need to get back into that mindset. I'm gonna do that by focusing on my other girls and meeting new ones while she is away and get my invincibility back I was in that mindset when I originally met her. When she gets back she'll see the old me that she originally met maybe I'll have to do a little work to get out of the friend zone, but once I'm in the zone that won't be hard done it before I can do it again. What you said about being amazing I had that exact thought today I started to really believe it and had that aire about me and a girl from my gym that I talked to once before asked me if I'd like to go get a beer with her I would have, but I already made plans with another girl. So for the next my goal for right now is be the most amazing badass version of myself that I can me and own this situation.

More girls more girls more girls.

Develop that abundance mentality. Once you have it, you'll feel amazingly confident

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The only prescription is training. More girls, more girls

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