Day 4 results. (And a bit about day 4.1 and 4.2.)

I went out last Friday night to an art exhibit. My goals were to open 50% of the people there, and to get a # close (but this second goal was optional.)

As the time approached to head out to the art show, my stomach started to churn and give me issues. Pre-approach anxiety, perhaps? Whatever it was, I wasn't going to let it get me down... I hauled myself out there.

First, let me say that the art exhibit was not what I expected. I imagined an indoor gallery, wine/cheese, and talking about art, with both people pretending to know what they're talking about even though they don't. Instead, 90% of the thing was outside, and though there was art, that was not the only thing going on.

The SPAM was really nice. The art gallery itself was a hippy-ish art store nestled in a historic village. There was live music. The band was a group of guys (high-schoolers by the look of them) just improvising some reggae. There was plentiful (and inexpensive) beer, and no wine and cheese in evidence. Later on, they kicked the band out and two dj's started spinning.

The SPAM was great, and I was actually mad that I could only stay three hours or so. I was doing some volunteering at a skating competition for the next two days, and I had to get up at 4:30am, so I knew my time would be limited. I ended up adding the art gallery on facebook so I can go to the next one of these things. Apparently, they last until 2am.

First, there were at least two hundred people, so invoked my common sense clause, which I made up on the spot, and adjusted my goal.
So instead of trying to approach one hundred people, I just focused on talking to as many people as I could. I went for actual conversations, not just greeting people. All in all, I estimate that I spoke to a good twenty people.

I didn't see anyone to try to # close. The demographics were a bit strange. They were:
- 50+ year olds.
- Married and/or pregnant women my age.
- High school kids (perhaps because their friends were in the band?)

During the entire night, I only bypassed one possibility for gaming. I was leaning up against the guardrail of some stairs, facing the band and enjoying the music. I play the guitarist, so I was watching his technique. A girl walked by me to get to the stairs. In order to take the stairs, she had to come from my left and then do a 180 around me. (As I write this, I am realizing that this was a really well chosen location for me, even though I didn't do it on purpose. ) As she walked by, her right boob brushed up against my arm. Now, part of me wants to say that this was purely accidental, and the other part of me wants to say that this was two ioi's: proximity, and physical contact. I honestly don't know.

Regardless, I was completely caught off-guard. On top of that, she just kept right on walking. She was young, and I had no idea if she was seventeen or twenty. So all in all, I did nothing. Just to be clear, she might have been a high-school student, so I'm fine with not saying anything. However, I have been randomly touched by women in this fashion (although not usually with a boob!) in the past, so I definitely need to think about how to handle that in the future. For example, one time that sticks in my mind was years ago, at the rink, a girl skated past me and 'accidentally' brushed my hand with hers. A few minutes later, the same thing happened again. I was married at the time, but if I hadn't been, that's two big ioi's right there.

But I digress. Here's what I learned from day 4:
1) Don't try gaming with a time limit. If I only have a few hours, it's best to leave it for another day.
2) Know the lay of the land, if possible. This was not a target-rich environment. I was able to practice socializing, and I had a good time, but it definitely was not 'gaming.' I need to better plan where I'll be gaming to make sure that the demographics will be suitable for gaming. I also need to know what to expect so I can create goals that make sense.
3) The attention deficit disorder was a killer for the first thirty minutes. There was so much noise and so many people that I actually struggled to make coherent conversation for the first half-hour. This went away once I 'got in the groove.'

I need to really think about how to minimize the affects of my ADD on my gaming. Maybe I should try to focus on day game more until I can have material that I don't really need focus to use? Or, I could try brainstorming some quiet places to do night game? I'm not sure, but I'll think on it.

To be continued...

On another note, I had two very good days that followed the art exhibit. They weren't gaming days, but they were very social days, so I'll call them day 4.1 and 4.2. I was volunteering at the rink for a competition, and just to practice, I opened as many people as I could. All of it was non-sexual and just me being friendly. It actually made the experience even more enjoyable than usual. Since there was none of the pressure of gaming, I was able to just have fun and be social.

I ended up learning a lot from these past two days that I want to try to apply to when I go out gaming in the future. For example, I was talking to another volunteer, a kid that I didn't know too well who was around sixteen years old.
Her: I'm bored.
Me: I have an instant cure for boredom.
(I hold out my hand, and we thumb wrestle.)

It's probably silly, but might that not be turned into a routine? (Or maybe there already is a thumb-wrestling routine? lol)

Now, just from my years of skating and my naturally friendly attitude, I already had social proof going into this weekend. But, I found something interesting came from my pushing myself to open lots of people: People actually started opening me after a while. It was really weird, like I had actually become a VIP at the place. Anyhow, it was a nice feeling, and it let me experience how powerful social proof can really be.

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My learning journal: from-chump-to-champ-my-learning-journal-vt182116.html

Alright so on the topic of ADD. ADD is fucking awesome. Most people see ADD as "he or she has add he must have trouble focusing" when in reality those whole truly have it, not the ones who want the meds, focus on everything all at once resulting in an information overload. What if you learn to harness this? You would be a FUCKING BEAST in game in your job whatever. Do not try to minimize the effects, maximize them and turn this "disorder" into your advantage. For example..Yesterday I was opening my store with one of my female employees to help. I was carrying on at minimum five different conversation threads, whilst simultaneously picking up on ioi's from her and throwing in playful negs and a bit of kino all without a thought. All this while more than competently running a restaurant. All it is is training your brain. Also while in set it provides you with an easy eject button. "Oh shit my add is kicking in! Bye!" BTW I was diagnosed at 17.

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The best thing about pregnant chicks: you can cum in them all you want and they won't get pregnant

Ya Ind3structable, I've found it's a double-edged sword. There are times when I'm in the zone with the ADD, and it allows me to be super-social. It also makes it easier to be spontaneous during those times, due to the impulsivity.

At the same time, there are plenty of times when it works against me, such as in busy situations where there's a lot going on, or if I'm at a bar/restaurant with a tv in view, then I'll turn into a zombie...

Have you found a way to consistently work with it in the field? I don't like the meds, the side effects are worse than the lack of focus, in my opinion.

Let me know, and thanks for your advice as always man!

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My learning journal: from-chump-to-champ-my-learning-journal-vt182116.html

Try sesensitizing yourself to these situations. Like I work in a busy SPAM so I have been desensitized to that and I remind myself as to what is more important to me, TV or getting my dick sucked. Also try delving into psychology to understand how your mind works. In addition to thisvive also played with a lot of phychedelic lwhich I am not advocating but I got a lot of insight into how I work.

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The best thing about pregnant chicks: you can cum in them all you want and they won't get pregnant

I also like the idea of posting it day pre day, today was my 2nd day and my first day I had an 8 attracted to me, today I bombed it, I got over confident and bombed a 6 LOL but keep up the good work brother I like hearing it

-Lafayette

Thanks as always Ind3structable. I've done all three things you mentioned, but still no luck. I've worked for five years in a mental health facility, and I've also worked as a substance abuse counselor. I was in the middle of getting my master's degree (to become a therapist,) but am now probably leaving the field... so I've definitely delved into psychology!

I've worked in my share of high activity jobs (bartending, working in a mental health facility, and others) and I've found that for some reason, I can remain focused in those environments when I'm working, but not necessarily at other times. That's probably worth exploring a bit to see if I can use that in the field... thanks for making me think of it.

As for the psychedelics, I take the fifth! But I was young once... that's all I'll say!

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My learning journal: from-chump-to-champ-my-learning-journal-vt182116.html

Ya Lafayette, I got the idea from AfcDaniel's journal. Since I, like most people here, can't game everyday, keeping track of the actual game days helps me make sure I'm staying on track... which I'm not right now... So I know I need to get back on track. That's also why I'm keeping this journal. I figure that the community will call me on it if I slack off or use too many excuses for not approaching.

Nice work on creating attraction on day 2, man, you're starting way ahead of me! I'm still working on opening sets and handling approach anxiety (although I've noticed that this has improved a lot in the past week.)

Keep at it man!

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My learning journal: from-chump-to-champ-my-learning-journal-vt182116.html