hi

my problem is when I am on a date I do wallow on past relationships such as if a girl asks me why It never worked out with a previous gf I will tell them what she did wrong etc this leads to self pity and it is never a good result...
I am unemployed but I am trying to find work but unemployment right now feels like such a DLV
I don't consider myself a good looking guy and I don't even have much confidence
don't know what to do

Welcome!

It looks like you've come to the right place.
Yes, the self-pity is a problem. Self-pity is unattractive as it is.

However, you've got an even bigger problem if you wallow on past relationships and just say the things that your exes have done wrong.

The girls you say that kind of shit to will think that you're a douche because you're just feeling sorry for yourself AND just blaming other people for your own shit. Talking shit about your ex-gfs is a clear demonstration of someone who's too myopic to see his or her own problems that they need to take responsibility for.

In short, if you talk shit about your exes, it just makes you look like an inconsiderate and selfish prick.

Never talk shit about your exes. Instead, say POSITIVE things about them if you MUST say something about them. And then just say that it didn't work out without blaming anyone for it.

I'm not saying that you need to say anything about your exes. In fact it might be fine if you just say nothing about them at all. However, if you do say something positive about them, it makes you look like you're on womens' side. It makes you more appealing to other women because it demonstrates that you're a team player.
Don't worry about DHVs and DLVs. Just focus on what you're passionate about.

You may be unemployed now, but why don't you do some freelance work that you can be proud of while you're looking for a new job?

If you do ANY work that you're passionate about (or proud of), it makes you feel better about yourself and thus makes you more attractive to women.

Just focus on what you're good at and like to do. Something that makes you light up.
Fortunately for us men, looks don't really matter. Sure, they count, but if you've got other good things going for you then being ugly is not a dealbreaker for most women. If you take the time to learn the skills this community has to offer, you won't ever have to worry about your looks ever again. For example, if you learn all 7 of the attraction-building techniques I outline in my new upcoming ebook, Attraction Arsenal, you'll be fully prepared and able to attract women even without looks, height, money, status, etc. Keep an eye on my forum signature because it will be available very soon.

As for confidence, it will come with experience. That's inevitable. As long as you're following the right path. For now, though, learn how to use INDIFFERENCE as a substitute. What I mean is that you should detach yourself from any particular outcome and just focus on practicing to develop your overall skills in pickup and seduction. Forgive yourself for any mistakes and just focus on learning, growing, and "leveling up."