So, it's a rather strange situation, I have no clue wether Im posting this in the right section, excuse me if its wrong. I posted it here cause I have already closed her, been exclusive with her etc. and now there are some problems

Let me explain the situation:

1,5 years ago I met this girl, she was cute, managed to kclose her, fuck her after like 2-3 dates
We kept fucking for a year, we had open relationship. After a year she started liking me too much so I felt really uncomfortable (I have slight fear of bonding). I ''broke up'' with her telling her I felt really uncomfortable with the situation and wanted my space back a little.

then after 2 months I was like ''k, so I liked her, and I miss her now'', and wanted to get back with her, but I knew she would be uncomfortable if I suddenly came back with direct ''game''. So I tried to start small, only meeting at nights basicly to have sex (She always wanted sex with me, so I knew she wouldn''t turn this down). During he next 4 months we had sex very sporadic.

So now the problem starts. I''ve had sex with her last month, after that she went on holiday, when she came back I was on holiday and when I came back she left so we couldnt meet after the last time sex.

3 days ago I asked her to come over and she ignored me so I was like fuck this
Then yesterday I asked again and she said: Well, I didn''t really want to tell you but im exclusive with this guy for like 3 days now, so I can't come over to sleep anymore

Now, first I wanted to do is check if it was real, asked where he lived, what his age was etc.
She didn''t want to tell me a few things, which is understandable but most of the things she could answer so I assume she is speaking the truth. I also know that she still wants me cause i rxn tested her a few times and she replied with answers that she still wants me.

She always thought I didnt like her enough to have a relation with her because of the way I act and talk (I always over neg because I enjoy doign it, I neg everyone, even people I don''t game, but always in a playfull way)

Now yesterday I actually told her I was shocked and wanted to come back with her and she was astonished that something like that would ever come out of my mouth (how to not game)

So I got the feeling that she will always and anytime pick me over him, that she just cant do it yet because they have been exclusive for 3 days and havn''t met up since they were exclusive.

So my plan: She has loved me for a long time, she knows what i''m like and she knows shes been in love with me for at least 1 year and a few months.

Yesterday I told her I wanted her back, not sure if this was a mistake on my side, but I''ll ignore her for 2 weeks now (I am 100% sure i''ll see her at this social event in 3 weeks) to keep her thinking and to make her miss me (I actually performed a straw man too saying things like: ''Well, we probably wont ever see each other again so it was nice knowing you, you probably will have more fun with him than you had with me cause Im always negging anyway. Aside you will probably have better sex with him so its cool for you'')

and at this social event (where she will be drunk for sure) isolate her to outside where its just her and me, ask what the situation is and just bluntly ask her to choose between him or me, and if she chooses him I dont want to see her again, I assume that she will choose someone she still wants and has known for ~2 year over someone she knows for 2 months. This probably isn''t the best call but it is the one that needs least effort. Fine for me to take this gamble

Is there any way I'm gonna win this or how the fuck should I handle this? I never had a serious relationship before her so i''m kind of clueless.

Again, sorry if it''s in wrong section

Mantis-

_________________
We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.

Have you ever witnessed what happens when there are two kids playing in a sandbox and Kid B takes a toy from Kid A that Kid A wasn't playing with....all of a sudden Kid A suddenly is enamored with playing w/ that toy and wants it back. When he gets it back he plays with it for a little bit then grows tired of it and moves onto the other toys again.

Before you commit to a serious relationship ask yourself if that is what you REALLY want or if it is because you want to claim what you feel he "took" from you. You had all the time in the world to commit to her in the past and didn't, so maybe it's the latter. Just something to think about.

This.

PS: Asking her who would she choose when she's wasted won't do any good. You started setting her up for a booty call, so bear the consequences of your actions. If you want her back, you need to start acting more responsible. You were toying her around all the time and trust me, not even the dumbest and ugliest person will withstand constant toying and will leave sooner or later.

Fair enough, ill take my loss v.v .

Thx for the replies

_________________
We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.