Hi Everyone,

I haven't posted on here in several months. I also have been in an exclusive relationship with a girl for around that time. Her and I are currently going through some hard times, due to her moving for her summer internship, however I believe the relationship is struggling largely because I have lost touch with pick up. Let me explain.

At first my relationship with her was VERY casual- she knew I was seeing other girls, in fact I shoved it in her face constantly in a very flirty way. She was very cool with it, and it was very convenient. Over about a two month span, she began doing me a lot of favors, like cooking me food, driving me to my classes, etc. I ended up liking her more and more. Eventually, she became the only girl I was seeing, even though I was still a bar hopper. I was able to keep the frame of me still seeing other girls, until she questioned me very seriously whether I was seeing other girls. I gave the honest answer, no. She then asked me to be in a relationship with her, and I told her I would think about it. She asked again, and I said yes, because I decided she is pretty awesome.

However, the relationship dynamic seriously changed at this moment I realize. Now I wasn't a bad boy player that she had grown to love, I was hers, and hers only, and she knew it. I knew at that moment, I had sacrificed some power in the relationship, but I thought it was the right thing to do. Regardless, everything was okay for a couple of months until she had to make the decision to do an internship 4 hours away from me.

Things became dicey for me, since I wasn't too anxious to see other people, and she was going to be away. Everything was okay, until she started to seem colder and less responsive to texts and calls to me in recent weeks, in all fairness, she is very busy with her job. I eventually drove to see her, only to get relatively little face-time with her for a weekend. It was not a good situation, and I had become a bit too needy in the relationship. She had flipped me. Rather than her starting all conversations with me, it has gone the other way, where I am the one initiating and showing more investment in the relationship. Now she has some power over me in the relationship.

It has been a tough learning lesson, and I am still in a relationship with her. I am working to correct the situation by investing less, if it can even be corrected at this point. One school starts back up, we will still be an hour apart, so this long distance stuff will continue.

I am wondering if anyone has had a similar experience to this?

I just thought I'd share this, since it seems like it would be useful for someone who is just entering a relationship. You can never drop the game entirely. While it is safe to say you can let your guard down while in a relationship, you can't let it drop off the face of the map, like I did.

hey mate you posted this thread at the exact right time go into my posting history look for my thread take a step back from the situation?

You may even find it in the recent posts in the general questions section Eddie Fews and I had a good discussion about pretty much the same situation you describe here what he had to say was spot on! And is working totally for me.

Also look up the RSD video crawling out from neediness watch that that until is engrained in your being.

And google Corey Wayne being able to walk away.

If you can apply the lessons from the information given and make it part of your being you won't have this problem. albeit it takes balls to do what is said, but in the end It'll get you what you want.

Hope that helps good luck!!

Gunfighter, thanks for sharing that tidbit. I am watching Corey Wayne now- VERY RELEVANT.

I am starting to get these ideas. I read that thread and it was useful. I may end up wanting to use that approach. I think the best thing to do for now is to pull back a bit and let her start to fear losing me, and if that doesn't work I will walk away.

no worries mate!
You should also check out Corey Wayne's what to do when she does this video/article. That right there is basically all you need to fix your situation. Albeit it takes some balls. Also there's a really old thread on here look up she suddenly stopped replying to my texts under the general questions section. Read that, that is exactly how you don't want to end up whenever I find myself having stronger feelings for a woman then I should I refer to that thread.

Hope that helps too!

"Investing less"? You're in a relationship with this girl, obviously you're attached. What does Investing Less even look like to you?

also check out the black dragon blog 9 steps to avoiding neediness and oneitis.

She probably just busy.... drive down there and see if something up. her body language says yes leave her

I think this is what happens when you get the girl, not because she likes you, but because she likes the chase. Sure, it's a nice ego boost in the beginning, but when the chase is over she's gone. You like/love her. She likes/loves the chase. It's not going to be equal. At the end of the day, you showed the real you and she's going. Instead of trying to hide yourself again to keep her, find someone who you can be yourself with. The mistake wasn't stopping playing the game with this girl ; it was picking the girl you need to play the game to keep.
If you being hers only wasn't enough, sorry, she wasn't for you.

Life's a game; relationship can't be excluded.

Embrace it, play the game

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