Alright so this might just be me being paranoid, but...

After I get a girl's telephone number I have always just been text messaging before the first date. After reading some advice on this forum I decided to change my approach and go directly for a phone call, which to me is just a way to show confidence. Except that today I called a girl I met yesterday and I felt like I showed her the opposite. We ended up setting up a date for Friday but I feel like I made a bad impression and now I'm scared she is going to cancel it.

I guess a lot of people have phone-phobia and I'm no exception. In person I have no trouble and I'm not even half as scared to do a cold approach, but when I'm about to call a girl my heart beats faster. I try to breathe in deep and loosen up my body, but it doesn't seem to help much. I think about what I'm going to say beforehand. I think about how I'm going to present myself.

This time I was thinking about speaking slowly and clearly, but in the process I forgot about being fun. I feel like I was super serious and although I was making myself clear I also did say some stupid stuff. Plus I was speaking in a language which is not my mother tongue and although I speak it quite well, I messed up a few times just because I was nervous.

I guess I have a few questions:

• How can I calm myself down and get in the right mood before calling a girl?
• Are there any good routines you guys can recommend to use on the phone to make the conversation more comfortable?
• I'm thinking it might be a good idea to send her a text message before our date, which is four days away. I'm thinking the day before. What should I write? Or should I... call???

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What would James Bond do?

Since it's been three days since we talked on the phone (will be four when we meet tomorrow) I'm thinking of messaging her tomorrow with something like "see you at 7. looking forward to it!"

What do you think?

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What would James Bond do?

If I ever feel nervous before a call, one simple trick I do to calm down is forcing myself to yawn so I feel a little tired.

If you make yourself just a little tired, you'll feel more relaxed, calm, and the conversation can flow more naturally.

As for your text, it doesn't really matter, but send one about half an hour or so before your date to say that you might be a couple minutes late. This is a sneaky way of confirming the date.

Thanks I think I'll send that text and then not be late at all

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What would James Bond do?

It's 2.5 hours before our scheduled date. I texted her suggesting we meet at another location since it's raining and the other location is close to a place I want to go to. Her reply:

"Sorry, but I don't really feel like it after all "

How to handle this bullshit?

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What would James Bond do?

You don't need that kind of bullshit in your life. Move on.

You didn't build up enough attraction before going for the phone number.

Learn to be physical with a woman, touch her, kiss her. You should at least attempt ALL of these things before even thinking about getting her number.

Yeah I know. I was just wondering how to handle it now, but I guess I will just ignore it.

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What would James Bond do?

Learn from your mistakes.

You shouldnt have sent the text. You sent that out of fear, communicated "I know I'm not good enough, so you probably wont show up"

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.

Except I didn't send it out of fear, I sent it because it was raining a lot and it would be more practical to change our meeting place... now I realize I would have been waiting like a fool in the rain and she never would have shown up. I'm glad I sent the text.

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What would James Bond do?

You already said before that, about how you wanted to text her. I think you used the weather as an excuse to justify it.

Also, you do realise, she was probably CONSIDERING flaking before, but you gave her the perfect opportunity when you contacted her? I'm not saying she'd have definitely turned up, but I've always said: The more times you contact inbetween setting the date, and the date itself... the more chances you give her to flake.

www.ipickupwomen.com < find the article about dealing with flakey women, if you want to pursue her more..

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I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.