Guys,

I know the usual consensus is no.... but do you think it ever might be productive to call a girl out on flaky behavior?

Ive got this girl that I've slept with a few times, kind of died out, but still contacts me occasionally, sets up plans, sounds excited, then the day of flakes or doesn't respond etc.

Ive kind of written her off, and don't generally initiate contact with her, but its annoying because id like to see her. So far I've never called her out, but this has gone on too long now.

This weekend she said "we should definitely hang out Saturday " and then when I contacted her the day of.. no response.

I'm thinking of texting her something today like "what happened to you last night, were you abducted by aliens and throughly probed?" Or some joke text... not really appearing pissed. Then seeing if shed redeem herself by meeting up today.

Good idea or bad?

ChiefPUA wrote about how he gives a girl 3 chances and if she flakes 3 times he ditches em.

Flaking is a big prob of mine so I'm not fit to advise. Interested in the replies

Here's a convo I had a while ago take from it what you will.

Girl: hey I'm really tired from the gym I don't think I can make it out (part of me is insulted she couldn't at least come up with a better excuse)

Me: no worries buddy of mine has a fight tonight in Vegas and my friends are twisting my arm pretty hard to come out ( true story)

Her: WHAT!!!!! VEGAS!!!!! You better behave Mister!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: always

From there she kept on texting me, but since I'm not seeing her anymore that night she's no longer a priority so I choose not to respond she keeps texting me then eventually gets the hint.

Next day

Her: sooo did you behave??

Me: ohh I wouldn't say I did anything too crazy

Her: I'm so hungover last night was crazy!! (Lame attempt to make me jealous I didn't buy it)

Me: awe muffin.

Her: so do you wanna hang out wednesday night???

I can tell you one thing she didn't flake that time.

Hope that helps good luck!!

I HATE when women flake by making up an excuse... and than try to make something up the day after saying they went out bla bla. Like you just said you couldn't come out or you were tired? Yea I would call shenanigans. Call her out and let her be. No reason to get upset over a woman.

It sounds to me like she thinks you're ok, and keeps lining you up as a backup for in case she has nothing better to do. Calling her out won't fix that.

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RSDTyler

Agree with this.

Never call out. Who wants to be spoken to like a child, seriously.

If she keeps flaking there's not enough investment.

That text message has reactive, needy, and butthurt all rolled into one nice little package. I disagree with the others that you should NEVER call a girl out on being flaky, as a general rule you should not blow it out of proportion, but it shouldn't become an elephant in the room either.

The route that I have personally had the most success with is making specific plans with the girl. A "Lets hang out tomorrow" and waiting till the day of to pick a time is a surefire way to get lots of flakes. Next time set a specific time and place to meet.

as a side note, most of the time when I make plans with a girl, i am simply inviting her to a party at my house, or to a bar that my friends are already going to be at. This accomplishes two things, A. I really don't give a shit if she comes or not B. she is with my friends living in my world

Also, you can call a girl out on being flaky without coming across as butthurt, or blowing it out of proportion. Saying things like "you missed a great night" just make you seem try hard, and things like that little alien text come across as butthurt. On the rare occasion that I decide to call a girl out on flaking, I'm not rude, or upset, but I am firm and direct generally I'll take a sarcastic tone and say "you flaked on me rude ass" I'm still teasing her, but I am direct about it. The girl normally will apologize, and that is the end of it, never to be spoken of again, or she will give an excuse and I will usually cut her off and tell her I accept her apology. That being said I wouldn't suggest calling this girl out at all instead, either wait for her to initiate again, or reopen later, when you go for the meet up be more specific about when and where if she flakes on formal plans she is violating social conduct, that is the point when I would delete her number

What is the consequence she suffered for flaking? If there was no consequence why wouldn't she continue to repeat the behavior?

She continues to flake because no matter what she does to you, she can still contact you and you will still give her attention. She is using you as a option. When you want to make plans for a night it becomes a lot easier to spend time with others when you have other options. The same way you're likely to get a job during an interview when you have a couple other interviews set up. You go in with more confidence, and opportunities begin to present themselves.

You have to commit to a consequence and that consequence has to be to ignore her the next time she hits you up. And don't initiate until she does again.

You can't call a girl out when you have no power over her. What would be the point? To manipulate her into doing what you want?

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^This.

Think of it like this (and this applies to men and women w several orbiters/potential suitors on the go). If you have several leads that you know are 'sure things', and 1 or 2 that are more challenging, it is human nature to impart more value on the more challenging leads and pursue those. Why? You know the 'sure thing' leads will LIKELY still be there if all else fails with the more challenging leads. Call it cat string theory or whatever, the more elusive something is the more value we typically place on it (even though value is almost always an arbitrary thing).

The more she flakes the lower on the priority list she goes till 3 flakes then she's a gonna. Not gonna waste my time.

I've been testing calling out for flaking lately, and I haven't had much success with it. I think it might be partially behind my lack of success in the past month. I'm looking into alternatives.

I was reading about a sales technique just today and it goes like this:

"Well, it seems like you're not really interested, and I just don't have time for this. Best of luck to you."


Followed by a complete cutoff.

I've been testing this with a few girls, and as long as you can do it without seeming butthurt, it seems like it might work well. Obviously, as with everything, you have to actually mean it.

I've had a girl say, "good bye forever" five times to me this weekend.

As soon as she realizes I'm not going to try to keep talking, she immediately texts me and says she, "hates bad good byes" - which anyone who has any knowledge should read as, "No, you don't get to win!"

Wow so the consensus is actually to NOT call women out on this stuff? I once didn't say anything when a girl cancelled a first date (dinner) a couple of hours beforehand because she was going to eat with her friend instead. Didn't say anything because I thought it would ruin my chances to fuck her, and I felt like the biggest pussy and loser in the world. How is it good to not call someone (girl or boy, who cares?) out on rude behaviour? When someone treats you like crap for no reason, you tell them they're being an asshole. It's not like the other person is unaware of her behaviour, I personally think she will think you're a pushover if you don't say anything.

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"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude."

Typically if a girl flakes, you wait a few days and try again to generate interest. If that fails, cut loose and find another girl.

I'm gonna tell you right now listen to Eddie and do what he says no matter what you think is best in your own head.

I'm in this exact situation right now. I was supposed to hang out with a girl on sunday she texts me on saturday there's a cool street party going on in her town she asks me if I want to go. I say yeah sure normally I wouldn't agree that easily, but its a cool event and I didn't have a lot on the go. As soon as I agree she stops answering I have other options so I don't chase sunday rolls around nothing and that's the day we had planned to go out. Monday she texts me with the lamest excuse that doesn't have shit to do with the price of donkey's in china I ignore because like I said I have other options and time is money I could have been out making money with the time she wasted of mine and if she wants another chance at some of my time she's gonna have to work fucking hard and prove she's worth a 2nd chance. Now she's texting me to hang out tonight.

So like I said no matter what you think is best listen to Eddie.